|Reviews for Legacy|
| Erifrats101 chapter 4 . 2/2/2010
Aww. I'm sad you decided to discontinue this one. It was really well done. But I'm glad ou decided to keep it on here, rather than deleting it. :]
Either way, it's a great story to read every now and then, and delves deep into Kallen's character.
Great job with this.
| Datenshi Aoi chapter 3 . 11/24/2008
In my last review, when I said Chapter 3, I meant Chapter 4 to be consistent.
Also, I figured out what was bothering me about the writing. C.C. is WAY out of character. In your fic, she is this wise, comforting, sage-like person. In the Code Geass world, the only thing sage-like about her is that she keeps secrets. She is haughty, teasing, sometimes unemotional, alternating between child-like and weary of living. But she has never acted like this...mother with a poetic bent that you've portrayed her as.
| Datenshi Aoi chapter 4 . 11/23/2008
I'm somewhat torn about reviewing this fic. You strike me as a well-read, educated, and there's not much I can say about the writing. Something about the tone strikes me as off, but I'm not sure what.
So I'll just focus on the more obvious errors that caught my eye.
1) You called Prince Clovis a vicereine. However, a vicereine is a woman.
2)"I do not refuse to fight. However, I will never allow the strong to bully the weak!" Makes no sense. There is no need for the word "however" assuming your translation of the first sentence is correct. However, I believe your translation of the first sentence is wrong. If I remember correctly, the first sentence implied he was saying "I will not deny people their right to fight." Which then works with the "however."
3) You have Kallen refer to Zero as an Eleven, but that's a derogatory term that someone who refers to herself as Japanese, would NOT use.
1) "I am Nippon" makes no sense. It's like saying "I am America, and so can you."
2) "How he cowered beneath them, how he shook and whimpered with each hit that landed on his body, how no one stood to take his pain for himself." Because you made it all one sentence, when you say "to take his pain for himself," the only person being referred to in there is the hot dog vender. What you should have said is "how no one stood to take his pain ON THEMSELVES."
3) Again, you have Kallen referring to the Japanese as Elevens in her mind. Totally out of character.
4)"What you see here is a weapon that is compared to the likes of those of the seventh generation, including Britannia's Lancelot. However, it is also different. The Landspinners can be retracted from the legs instead of being commonly attached to the ankles. It lacks long-range weaponry, but equipped with a knife, a grenade launcher, and a Slash Harken makes it perfect for close-range combat. The right arm is a Nuclear Pulse Emitter;"
First, Lelouch wouldn't know Lancelot's name. He just knows it as the "white one." Second, the Lancelot was the only existing seventh generation knightmare at the time. It was the first, so Lelouch shouldn't be comparing the Guren to non-existant machines. Finally, the radiant wave emitter is NOT nuclear. Nuclear technology was more or less discovered by Nina late into the first season and was infeasible until late in the second season. So just call it a "microwave pulse emitter."
| KaoruAoiShiho chapter 1 . 10/4/2008
| He Who Writes Monsters chapter 2 . 5/21/2008
A review for both chapters, which I've just read...
This is brilliant. I loved the deep insight into Kallen's character, and also the look at C.C. (though she was a bit colloquial at some times for my liking). I can really picture a conversation/interrogation such as this taking place, with C.C. forcing Kallen to look past her hero-worship of Zero and take a long hard look at what She is and what Her life is worth.
I definitely hope you continue this, this is one of the best Fanfics I've read in the Code Geass section ever.
| ThunderRiver411 chapter 2 . 4/29/2008
This is a good story you have here. I'm working on one too (a crossover). Check it out when you have time.
| Blue Bragon chapter 2 . 4/27/2008
Interesting read... seems that you are analysing the relationship between Zero/Lulu and Kallen and not only that but you wish for her to reason (via C.C.) the reasons of her fight...
quite interesting as always...
| ProtoBlues chapter 1 . 4/21/2008
Wow. This is an amazing piece.
Really goes into Kallen's character and her motives like the show never bothered to do.
C.C., however, is odd. She seems much too nice. While I can definitely see her sympathizing with Kallen and understanding her, she seems more the type who would point out truths that Kallen doesn't want to admit rather than try to be inspirational.
| Little Donkey chapter 1 . 4/16/2008
:D Yay! I love fics like these in the Code Geass fandom. I would often wonder if C.C. didn't change the subject when conversing with Kallen in one of the cd drama tracks, if it could've gone something similar to this.
| Blue Bragon chapter 1 . 4/14/2008
.. interesting... if the chars are correct we have a conversation between C.C (the narrator/speaker) and Kallen... I like it...
So will this turn out to be a long fic... can't wait...
| inconstant heart chapter 1 . 4/13/2008
Beautiful- a very thoughtful and interesting analysis of Kallen, and also a good insight into C.C's character. I think C.C would definitely be the one able to see most beyond Kallen's million identities and be able to sympathise.
I really like the idea of a Kallen/C.C friendship, which is odd considering I don't even much like C.C. I suppose it's the way you've written C.C- her willingess to listen, and be a shoulder to cry on for someone other than Lelouch, makes her a lot more likeable than she is in the show, for me. :)
You write wonderfully, and I'm eager for more. (Also, yay for more Kallen-centric stories! There aren't enough of them!)
(By the way, 'Sunrise Inc' created and produces Code Geass, so I suppose you can say they own Lelouch and co.)
| Ominae chapter 1 . 4/13/2008
This is quite interesting. Looking forward to more.