|Reviews for Seven Village Stomp|
| obsidian-fox chapter 2 . 4/18/2009
This chapter had me laughing out loud at many points. You also managed to lay out or seed a plot, far more than I expected you to achieve in just one chapter. Good show!
The writing itself could use a little technical cleanup, especially with regards to confused pronouns. E.g. "A quick thrust sends his inelegant attacker into the dirt and propels him high into the air." Upon re-reading, one can determine that it is Ranma who is propelled into the air, but it would have been clearer to simply use the word 'Ranma' in place of the latter 'him'. Similarly, "his left foot lashes out and lands neatly on the back of a blond footstool" was a tad confusing; clarity would have been aided by indicating that the blond was treated as a footstool rather than full metaphor. Sometimes, even when something is obvious, it needs to be said. (It's a problem we both face in EA, too.)
Aside from the minor technical issues, you did a good job with pacing, content, story, and humor. I'm definitely looking forward to experiencing more of your story.
| Muramasa chapter 2 . 4/18/2009
You sir have made my day with this update. Good stuff. The dialogue of course is awesome though speaking in the present tense feels a bit awkward.
Overall though I'm enjoying this quite a bit. Good job.
| BatLurker chapter 2 . 4/17/2009
Your Genma is easily the most canon-like I've seen in quite a while. He's awesome.
Please, continue this, it's a really exciting read.
| zmz1999 chapter 2 . 4/17/2009
The fighting wasn't as impressive as in the first chapter, but the plot makes up for it.
Genma fighting Ranma takes several rereads, as there's a lot going on. The interaction was very interesting.
You would think that Hiashi, an elite jounin, would fare better against Genma. I suppose if Ranma is Jounin level at that point, Genma would be better. I was of two minds about the iron cloth technique. Genma's never shown knowledge of it before. On the other hand, the way you used it was very enlightening. I love how Hiashi was able to instantly neutralize it, but Genma made use of the cloth itself. I always enjoy the countering of a counter.
Kakashi fight was interesting if a little gruesome. Ripping out someone's neck bone has got to be harder than stabbing them with a kunai.
Plotwise, it has potential. I'm surprised Hiashi works for/with Danzo. Do really understand the comment about Hiashi making amends. Given Hiashi and enough ninja, they could take out Kakashi and cover it up.
Loved the comment about moving kidneys into knees. Genma talking about the joys of being a parent showing Hiashi pictures of baby Ranma was humorous as well.
| Srednasnhoj chapter 1 . 2/21/2009
Now this needs to be continued!
Great story and I like how you have both Hinata and Naruto in the stolen goods.
So what will the next village be?
| Guy chapter 1 . 2/13/2009
Come on, update this excellent fan-fic!
| Hat O' Doom chapter 1 . 1/14/2009
Whoa! This is a really good story. I'm glad I ran into this. I lke how you have managed the different skill sets and strength levels. Congrats! Hope you update soon!
| yellulhchicken chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
this is really good please continue
| Davros chapter 1 . 1/3/2009
Most enjoyable. I do like seeing Genma getting some screen-time to do his thing for change. He's one of my favourite characters in the manga but he hardly ever gets prominence in fanfiction outside of the fics that turn him into some sort of ogre.
| Mika the Raven chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
please continue this story
| E.A.V chapter 1 . 10/9/2008
I love this and I hope that you will continue it sometime in the future.
You are particularly good at the action sequences! Thouroughly enjoyable!
I look forward to more of Eldritch Assylum, too. It's one of my favorites.
| PurpleMoon3 chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Several days later, Hinata and Naruto appear asleep at the gates of konoha with a note.:
We only meant to steal the table, sorry about that!- R&G Saotome.
Seriously, this was greatness.
| Nathan chapter 1 . 6/4/2008
Fun story to read, a very interesting approach to the Naruto crossover. I'll be waiting for an update.
| zmz1999 chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
Interesting. The interplay between Ranma and Genma was educational at some points and hilarious at others. The fight scenes were interesting. I do like the fact that you acknowledge the stamina necessary to swim across the China sea.
The fight scenes were interesting. Ranma's stamina obviously outlasts the ninja's. How does strength and speed compare? Ranma's attacks are fast enough to hit presumably chunin level ninjas.
| Silence-Darkness chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
Now, THIS is an interesting fanfic, primarily because Genma, a character I find hilarious but most authors like to make the nasty vilain or odd side character, shares around half the protagonist air that Ranma does. And that's always interesting because no one else does that.
And Ranma, surprisingly, doesn't have a curse. I'm glad that you know how to use the zaniness in his life without having to pull that gun out. I'm interested to see whether it'll last for the entire effort, or you somehow manage to get him to get a girl form someway through. The former would be most interesting.
Everyone's in character, I'd say. I love Genma and Ranma's communication, and would love if more authors tried examining their theft exploits and getaways - as you've proved, the comedic factor is there to be explored. As Naruto is still the buzz kid he was before, I'm assuming this is set before the Naruto manga starts (kid's 12?), which is all fine and good.
Maybe you had not much choice, but the Mt. Rushmore reference is getting old, especially when sieving through all those Ranma/Naruto crossovers (it may just be my opinion, but I think you've taken some of the feel from Ozzallos' Foxcat story). I'm glad you at least spiced it up with Genma wanting Ranma to study; not something you hear from most fiction. "Do his homework"; for a longtime Ranma fanfic reader, I found that line hilarious.
I'm sorry to hear that this is meant to be a respite for you, not a serious effort, because I think this will be among the best *characterised* works out there. But hey, I'll be cherishing each update you make.
Time to sieve through your other works then!