Reviews for Unexpected Love
HaileyMaxx chapter 1 . 8/24/2013
i liked it u r very good u should b a writer i think u will do great as one and yes u should continue the series thanks
Guest chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
TheFigureInTheCorner chapter 1 . 10/14/2011
In reaction to this chapter, I have two words: awkward much?

... Awkward is a weird word...

Do you think you'll continue this story?
grimmich chapter 1 . 9/29/2009
aw, so CUTE, he was blushing! I think they make an adorable couple! I hope you are still planning on posting more because I am hoping to read more! It was well written and so far has an interesting start for the plot and I hope I get to see where you take it...! :D
Andrea chapter 1 . 5/11/2008
that was really good.

I was just wonering...

Are you just having trouble with finishing the rest of the story or did you give up on it, because people are being rude to you on the reveiws?

Thank you

P.S. please send me a email so i know if you did stop doing this story or your just having problems with writing
MysticSorceror chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Things I liked:

I like how Ha'ri assumes that Shigure's just playing around

Good descriptions

Kinda disturbing but nice way of setting Hatori and Tohru up

Ways to improve:

Vary on sentence openings

Some disjointed sentences

Balance nonverbal and verbal communication

Work on characterization

Don't include author notes within the actual flow of the story

Break up the paragraph a bit

Start a new line every time a new character speaks

Kinda weird


Warning: Only read the next part if you can handle brutal honesty



Things that I didn't like:

Seems a bit over-dramatic

Maybe you should have been more delicate on the subject, I've only seen one person master the period idea and that was SunMoonandSpoon with Akito
Blood Red Vampress chapter 1 . 5/2/2008
Thankyou for reviewing. You get a virtual cookie cause youre the first! *cookie* The idea about the ovarian cyst is cool. I'll work on it. Mabye she could have a relapse or somethin'... And also, Tohru just graduated from high school. She doesn't go to college, but works. I cant believe you like my story! Wish me luck with the rest!
avidlydreaming chapter 1 . 5/2/2008
I like the pairing of Hatori and Tohru also. Cramps seems a bit light though - maybe she has an ovarian cyst or something? Just a thought :) A way for them to have to be stuck together for some time would be good. In this fanfic is Tohru older and out of school?

At any rate I can't wait to have you post more!