|Reviews for Foreigner|
| novelreader chapter 19 . 5/5
I'm rereading the ending, I'm going with the conclusion that Brian hasn't changed a bit. He was only talking to Seto just because he was rich and his nephew, probably expecting the familial relationship to help leech off of him or to get back up again, who knows..
At least that's what I think. I have a hard time imagining Brian to be nice just because, there's always a reason.
Anyway Kaiba's reaction was great. You really captured his cold anger to everything.
| novelreader chapter 18 . 5/5
Oh crap I thought it said Rwanda _; my mistake...
I think if Kaiba found out he'd understand, might not stop him for murdering Isono though... Gosh I loved Isono, even if he plays a minor role in Yugioh as Kaiba's right hand, he seems to be the only person that never betrayed Kaiba and now you do this! Seriously do wonder what his reaction would be if he found out his right hand was responsible for his father's murder, or what Isono's reaction to Seto and Mokuba when he finds out their last name...
| novelreader chapter 17 . 5/5
I think the ending you made for Brian being a janitor was probably crueler, because Kaiba's remark in my head afterwards he did suicide. The man has major low self worth.
The Rewanda scheme was genius.
| novelreader chapter 16 . 5/5
This chapter is probably my favorite. And it all ties down to the father doesn't it? I love Seiji, he's my favorite character.
I don't know why I'm rereading this but I guess maybe because I've been wishing for a sequel but since there is not, would you mind if someone else wrote it? Not me per se, I'm an beginning amatuer writer but maybe someone else?
Also Brian, what a great character, he so realistic, I both pity and hate him. You really know how to write three dimensional characters. It makes me wonder if he ever changed when he meet Seto Kaiba in the future.
Seiji told him what he needed to hear. The only rational OC in this story. Honestly the grandparents smh I could just imagine if Kaiba met them, he'd be much more harsher then Seiji and probably feel a lot of disdain for both sides of him family for their lack of vision. Don't follow your dreams is not a mindset Kaiba believes in, I think it's one think he respects Jounochi for, for trying to defy people's expectations at what they think of his dueling and being his absolute best. Considering how Frank Jones is to Seiji about "chasing clouds" like his dream of building an amusement park makes me wonder if that's the reason Brian is so unhappy with himself and turns to booze to not face the "loser" he is because he couldn't meet his father's expectations, because the one thing he loved he couldn't do anymore all because of an injury. I think I read about a football player who also endured an injury but continued his career regardless. I could imagine his parents persuading him not to continue due to him health and persue engineering. I've never read "Death of a Salesmen" but I think Frank and Brian's relationship would resemble the Salesmen and his son, from what my brother told me of the story.
Now I feel like reading it...
I feel like writing a side story about that, or I hope you do if you ever come back to writing. Of course you either make it an OC story which not a lot of people would read, or go back to the time Kaiba meets his uncle and something, and Kaiba learns about his uncle through it I guess so you would see flashbacks..
It could either end in death for Brian, but I could imagine Kaiba being really pissed about what Brian did here and you know how he is about people messing with the people he love, he's worser then his mother in that. Or Kaiba would somewhat forgive or let go of the past since letting go of the past is a big theme in Yu-Gi-Oh when it comes to him. Add Yugi in the gang, because there's nothing more satisfying then Kaiba being pissed off by Jounochi's antics. I think a part of the reason he hates Jounochi a bit, is because he reminds him of himself in the past in a way, but there is a slight comparison at least in appearances and habits of Jounochi and Brian, both are tough acting and fighters, both (used to in Jonouchi's case) are bullies to people that they don't understand or don't fit their world view.
Jounochi used to be really bothered by Yugi because he doesn't fight back I think.
Seiji is a hard worker and he has a strength in him Brian doesn't, and Brian hates that. Brian's upbringing was similar to Laura. He was spoiled and what made him worth anything was his prowess in football, and also his fists. He was used to intimidating people to give him what he wanted, just as Laura was used to people giving her what she wanted because of her charm. But Seiji is the first person who is both immune and defies that. Laura came to appreciate it and grow and that's why she fell in love with him. Brian on the other hand hates it, and to him it seems like Seiji is saying he's better then him. Bullying others gives him self worth since he can't find anything else that does and with a overbearing father with expectations, drinking and beating people up is his release. This doesn't excuse his actions, but it's understandable I guess. Like I said very realistic character.
Both are very lax, and not that bright, but Jonouchi is hard-working and he tries. Even if he falls, he gets back up. He is in a way much more admirable then even Kaiba. Kaiba may have endured a lot, part of it was because of his own arragance, but Jounochi isn't rich and he wasn't lucky enough to be born with brains like Kaiba. He had to endure in his own way, the ordinary guy dealing with really big problems. I love both of them!
Anyway sorry for rant. Seto finally cementing his bond with Mokuba I feel like crying even though I read this already!
| AbyssalDreamer18 chapter 19 . 4/9
Holy crap, this is amazing. Your writing style flows very well and the plot line was especially realistic. Plus, I find Seto extremely in character, even in his youth. You wrote Seto's parent's deaths very well and made sure that they were given a very dark and sad tone that fits quite well. But man, I feel betrayed by Roland now, it makes me see him in a whole new light. The epilogue was also perfect. To summarize my entire spiel, this story was awesome and I loved it!
| justafreakinweeb chapter 19 . 3/10/2015
I'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating.
| ScarletLycrois chapter 19 . 12/26/2013
This is one of the best stories I've ever read. I loved the way you subtly included the original characters. It's been 3 nearly 4 years, will you ever come back to writing again?
| Serendipital chapter 19 . 4/23/2012
This was just beautiful. Although mainly OCs, it was written like a published book, and the constant presence of canon characters and the cameos made it so that no OC hater could possibly complain. This is simply one of the best Yu-Gi-Oh fanfics I have ever read.
| Calm Envy chapter 2 . 11/12/2010
I love the theme of the clash between two cultures. At first I thought the r's instead of l's for Seiji's speech would be annoying but it does make it easier to imagine how he speaks. Laura has a really strong personality and it shows in the way she speaks. Oh I don't know. They're all so interesting.
Wow, his father really flipped out. How long ago would this have been? Before I was born at least. It s really horrible to know in this world some people are still phobic - xenophobic, homophobic, whatever - and would treat their child's choice of partner in such a way.
| Calm Envy chapter 1 . 11/12/2010
I actually read this a while ago. It still has, in my opinion, one of the best plots here and the best OCs. I suppose most OCs are terrible (I say that loosely, some aren't) but yours are believable and likeable.
Was it meant to be a one shot? I'm glad you extended it. This chapter itself was a little shorter than I would have liked and not as fleshed out, but the rest more than makes up for it. I love the detail where he wants to build an amusement park.
| Demon's Light Angel chapter 19 . 10/5/2010
To me the is quite a bit of irony in what happened. That the man who was sent to kill his father ended up having to work under him. Alos lovethe story though, it again cool that he Seto ends up meeting with his uncle. The mooch.
It depressing but well writtened.
| Ultimate Ending chapter 19 . 8/17/2010
Wow, just wow. I have no words to describe how wonderful this story was. It pulled out so many emotions from me, especially the last two chapters...My eyes were beginning to water up. This is a completly genuine complement, I don't cry for many stories, especially fanfiction (I've only had once before). I'll compare it to Romeo and Juliet, minus the romance. Right away from the first chapter you knows it's going to end tragicly. But along the way you start to hope so much for a happy ending. Which is what made it so sad; in a kinda good way I guess.
So anyway great job on this story-I'm really glad you finished it all :)
| Irene2011 chapter 19 . 7/20/2010
I just wanted to say that I really was impressed by your story. Most Seto Kaiba fanfics are made by really obsessed fangirls and are their fantasies rather than an actual story. Your story portrayed his (Seto's) character well and I enjoyed your new characters you put in it, especially Laura. I wish it could have been a happier ending, but I already knew that it wouldn't be from watching the series. Thanks for a fun read!
| Average Prevailer chapter 19 . 7/20/2010
The end was sad, but beautiful. Great story, thank you for sharing, it was a pleasure to read.
| novelreader chapter 5 . 6/27/2010
u know, maybe it's me, but Brian kinda reminds me of the jack ass version of seto kiaba. Then again in the dubbed, he's always a jack ass. i mean, theirs similarities like there is between seto and his parents. Their both older brother with angelic cuter likable younger siblings. Their both tall and intimidating. Their both jack asses. The only difference is seto is a wonderful great older brother, brians not. Brian is not responsible or serious and he's hotheaded and an idiot in my opinion. Seto Kiaba would never admit he's a loser or stand for anybody calling his, and i wouldn't call kiaba hotheaded, more cold-blooded then anything. If older seto and brian fought, brian would be dead literally. That is how dangerous kiaba's temper is compared to brians. I bet his uncle would be afraid of him. Well that's enough of me rambling. I love your story!