|Reviews for A Subtle Seducing|
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/13
hot~ gotta say: i loved it! thanks for that amazing journey, naru-chan...so proud of you! _
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/31/2015
I liked this lol. I love annoyed Sasuke and determined Naruto.
| WolfieLiz chapter 7 . 8/31/2015
I loved it! So damn HOT!
My favorite part was actually the interactions between the characyers and the revwnge that sasuke always took upon suiguetsu!
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/14/2015
oooooh, very hot~
love the touch with the threats and haku btw~ I love the molestation so much. It's very nice and hot, especially when Sasuke's fighting back~ hopefully there's more on the way~
| Yuna chapter 3 . 8/14/2015
hehehehehe, I love this. the molestation is beautiful, and seriously hot~ I love the teasing, the attempts to hold back his voice, the sheer hotness! also the plot obviously present too!
And I do sorta understand your reservations. But it's a lot different fantasizing it or reading about it than it actually happening in real life.
Similarly, I love reading yaoi fics, but I'm actually very uncomfortable even thinking about s...sex (I can't even say it *furious blush*).
| darklightening chapter 7 . 7/14/2015
Wonderful, captivating story. I read it to the end without pause. Honestly the idea seduction by molestation was ingenious. This was a good read. Thanks for sharing!
| jj chapter 7 . 6/9/2015
haha love it poor kiba lol
| BreezyAnimetra chapter 7 . 5/10/2015
Love this fic different from others I have read.
| Simply Hopeless chapter 7 . 2/17/2015
This is so hilarious.I'm reading this in the wee hours of the morning. Knowing i have class in a free hours but once i started reading i couldn't stop. All of it was hilarious, from Hitachi and kisame's cock blocking schemes to naruto's idea of wooing. I feel sorry for kib in the story but our was hilarious. And when juugo came crashing through the wall like the family guy kool-aide man right when sasuke and naruto was going to get busy was hilarious. I honestly can go on but I'm sleep deprived and reviewing from my cell phone. But i like this fiesty and creatively vengeful sasuke because he could possibly outprank naruto with what he does to suigetsu.
| KirenN chapter 7 . 10/30/2014
Oh my f-ing God! I had to wait until the end of the last chapter to write this review. This is by far the coolest, most mind-blowing fiction I have ever read! English may not be your first language but you've done your job as a writer beautifully! I love the storyline, how the conversations suit the characters so well, also your choice of words is just awesome 3 thank you soooooo freakin much for this! Praying it will become a doujinshi one day! Please tell me you've writen more? And if you could please do some for Death Note and Kuroshitsuji too 3 Bravo!
| Amora.Lee chapter 6 . 7/14/2014
Lol all that was left was Naruto going Mwah ha haa as he left lol
| Amora.Lee chapter 4 . 7/14/2014
Let me say something that our dear dignified Uchiha will never say but wanted to "In your face sucka "
| Amora.Lee chapter 3 . 7/14/2014
Juicy juicy heheee i love this story KisaIta duo just entertaining as fudge
| Amora.Lee chapter 2 . 7/14/2014
Ive read this story before and i swear its even more awesome this time poor Sasuke you cant win a match of will against a pervy Naruto and as always Itachi's sadistic enjoyment in Sasu-chan's situations just make it all the better
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/4/2014
I read the whole fic, but I'm reviewing this chapter in particular because this is where the story jumped the shark for me. I didn't hate the fic, I just didn't really like how it developed.
I liked the first chapter a lot and thought Naruto and his obnoxious way of getting crushes was pretty amusing. The story had a lot of potential, I thought.
But then you lost me in this chapter with Sasuke secretly enjoying the molestation and Suigetsu and everyone else getting all excited that some pervert had managed to get under Sasuke's skin like he'd just found true love. Okay, yes, the fic intended for Naruto to be Sasuke's true love, but come on! Nobody likes being molested by a stranger! That's not sexy; it's assault! I simply cannot believe that Sasuke would be turned on by it.
But okay, I will suspend disbelief for THAT part of the story and accept it. What I absolutely cannot accept is that Suigetsu or anyone else who cares about Sasuke would think him getting molested on a train was cute and encourage the crush. That would NEVER happen. So what if Sasuke supposedly liked it? All they know about Naruto is that he assaults people in public places. Based on that knowledge, it's logical to assume a number of very unpleasant things, namely that Sasuke isn't his only victim, that Sasuke is being stalked, that Naruto is capable of much worse, like if they don't stop him, he could escalate his attacks on Sasuke. That's why it makes no sense for Itachi to ask Naruto what his intentions are for Sasuke and then tell him how to find his brother once Naruto gives him an answer he likes. Naruto could have been lying for goodness' sake!
The rest of the plot twists, especially those involving Itachi just didn't make a lot of sense or felt like they were there to drag the story out. Itachi's lame attempts to cockblock got us 3 extra chapters we didn't need (waxing Naruto's privates? Really?) and I didn't understand the cliffhanger with Sasuke attempting to test Naruto by asking him to sleep with Hinata. It didn't go anywhere and didn't add anything to the story except to draw things out further.
I think this all could have been done in a more interesting, sexier, and less stupid way. I once read an *excellent* fic in another fandom about two strangers who sit next to one another on the bus, and without really speaking much to one another, just using body language, tacitly agree to give each other handjobs. It was really sexy.
I think you could have started off Naruto and Sasuke's relationship like that. Like they were two people who were attracted to each other and silently agreed to mutual groping while on the train because they found it exciting. And then because they normally ride the same train, it turns into a regular thing between them. The conflict in the story would arise once Naruto decided he wanted more than just kink with Sasuke, wanted to try for a relationship, and Sasuke refused. Basically the flow of the plot would be similar to what you have now, but the tone would be a lot different, which is key, in my opinion.
It also would have helped if you didn't use Itachi as a lame deus ex machina (I hated seeing the character portrayed like that) and didn't try to needlessly drag things out. I liked the way you wrote the sex scenes; they were very sensual. It was just the rest of the fic around them that I found to be weak.