|Reviews for The Watchman|
| Khyler Bane chapter 29 . 7/10
DAMN Rorschach! you just blew my mind.
| Khyler Bane chapter 21 . 7/10
I don't think she would last long against doomsday. the other villains I don't know?
| unclear expulsion chapter 4 . 6/20
Grammar was cringy before, but it's become horrific with the increasing dialogue. Can't keep reading, but it was somewhat interesting at least.
| Celestial Glowhead chapter 92 . 4/27
You had a good concept and start, your descriptions and skills at some action scenes are cool, you've got them nice cinematic moments so that's why I ask, what happened?
Rorschach is an interesting lead from the mind of the great Alan Moore, with layers and feels, and then you kinda blew it. Rorschach not only isn't an atheist and a liberal like you wrote him, but Moore wrote him as a right winged republican nightmare with conservative beliefs, he turned to religion in the prequels and you didn't get his speech right. In the interrogation he's not saying it's God's fault and humans are saints, he straight up says that we fucked up our own world and we deserve doom. He even compares himself to an angry god when saying that when the flood comes and the whores and scum beg mercy, he'll say no.
With all due respect, do you remember his lines and scenes that well? Adrian even compares him to a nazi. He doesn't just see the world in black and white, he's critical of everyone, not just criminals. He calls people whores, dogs, deviants and he found his psychiatrist disgusting for being rich and liberal, see what I get at? You should have made a different character altogether and let poor Rorschach be. Terra is also an awful choice for a sidekick assuming you go by the comics, she was a psycho who banged Slade and betrayed the titans, even tried to kill them. So much for Rorschach's soul mate.
The Power levels were cringe inducing, I like Rorschach more than Batman but I know his limits, he's a boxer, a street slugger, which pales compared to what Batman can do. I go as far as to say it makes him interesting since he's an average joe, out there fighting with wits but he can get gunned down or arrested as sen in Watchmen, he's vulnerable and that's relatable, here he's The Punisher and Saitama's baby, he's got everything easy, gets super weapons out of nowhere and ends fights without a struggle in hell. Plus he's poor, did you even stop to think of where he'd get weapons and knowledge beyond Lex Luthor? Which brings me to another point, Luthor, killed by the Phantasm, really? First off, he has no helmet because he already has a force field around his head, that's canon, second, a chick who can't beat the Joker and isn't even in the comics can beat the guy who fights Superman? That's wrong on many levels.
But a scene that stopped me from fav'ing and following when I was about to was the Belle Reve scene. Rorschach, going into a prison, killing and slaughtering prisoners, villains, sure but still human beings and arrested ones on that, just for fun? The heck was that? That's actually vile and an atrocious thing to do. Why them and not actual threats, rapists and drug dealers in the street? A thing you missed about Rorschach is what his real foes are, not some dudes in masks and capes but the actual plague that made him don the mask, the people in the streets, those are the real monsters. And you know, it's ironic because The Comedian, a dude with awful records who almost committed rape was entirely cool by Rorschach. When Nite Owl brings up how bad he was, Rorschach defends him, that's because he isn't the voice of reason and he's not right on everything. He's still not as morally shady as Ozymandias, Manhattan and Comedian but still.
On that topic, the Young Justice arc, just why? Why have you got to mix a good show for kids with Moore's dark satire and make it a perverse morbid "I rule, all the others suck" fantasy? Rorschach grabbed Batman's balls, I don't even have to explain why that's wrong. And your talk on cats and ferocity, if that was true then the daily rape count in the world wouldn't be so damn high, you can scratch as you want but some people don't care. Him recording the whole thing was childish and a no no for the real Rorschach.
Overall, your work isn't that bad, you've got talent even, but you sin of having quantity over quality. I myself as a huge Watchmen fan am writing a story on my own, only that in this case I cross it with Sin City, which makes a whole lot more sense and it's more fitting, and while I could go bananas and write 100K words, I like to think first and have my stuff make sense before pulling that kind of thing. I'd rather have it short than bad. Again, your story isn't that bad, it just takes a higher suspension of disbelief than the freaking bible, and it makes Frank Miller look like Mother Teresa when it comes to butchering characters.
| Guest chapter 44 . 3/24
Amazon trianing or not, Lois is a human being with no powers, her hand should have shattered from that punch. Also GOD and Lucifer exist in DC, their canon numbnuts, and crosses have been known to work on vampires in the comics. You don't even know what you're doing with this, just power fantasy jerk off fest for you're crappy OP Gary stu self insert; cause no way in hell that's Rorschach. He doesn't talk like that and he had a lot of flaws torn off for this lifeless bland imitation.
| Guest chapter 39 . 3/24
I going to be blunt. This is a bad story. You made made Rorsach to OP and give the same speech to heroes "you suck, I'm right, look at how much I right", judging by that scene with Mxyzptlk you copied shit from Supergod and probably other sources word from word, so you give a bullshit explanations to how Rorschach managed to win against all those characters who are smarter, faster, stronger, and even better than him; beating BATMAN in hand to hand despite the fact that Batman IS faster, stronger, and better than Rorschach at fighting and frequently uses dirty tactics in fights, and demonizing the other characters when you're not making them seem like the biggest wusses when Rorschach speaks out on them. In short you suck at writing. The worst part was the future segment. If you had read Kingdom Come you would have noticed how the new generation of heroes managed to ruin an entire state via killing a nuclear bad guy who was going to blow, commonly fight bad guys when guns, knives and other dangerous shit WHILE next to cilvians not really worrying if they get in the cross fire. And you say that their the one's we should be rooting for? Fucking Light Yagami is actually the goddamn hero in death note? I'll admit I think it's annoying when heroes don't kill the worst villains; I even hate Injustice for making another cliche evil Superman who flipped after giving Joker what he deserved. My favorite heroes are punisher, judge dredd, jason todd, SUPERMAN, spider-man and even booster gold; because their all right and wrong in their own ways, and they have many flaws ranging from making to violent and callous, to being too soft and holier than thou. That said I understand why, if they do it becomes a slippery slope where they become less cautious and mind wind up killing more innocent people using more violent tactics; like the new heroes from Kingdom Come. This also encourges other people to do what they do, making a mob of self righteous morons that'll probaly end up kill people for small things stealing 12 bucks; like that scene from injustice. This is awful because you glorifying that edgy garbage from the 90's and saying it's the best way for any hero to follow, to go guns a blazing no matter how much more damage they'll cause than the other heroes and anyone one who disagress is a moron who's as naive as a kid on how the world should be; fuck you, you edgelord.
| Silverserpent74 chapter 4 . 3/23
This would be better if it had better grammar.
| rmarcano321 chapter 89 . 1/5
"Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox" Martha and Thomas are frightening!
| rmarcano321 chapter 88 . 1/5
Only crazy people can break the fourth wall. I guess they just have a 'special sense of sanity.'
| rmarcano321 chapter 87 . 1/5
Some people build a wall of ice around their hearts to shield themselves from pain.
| rmarcano321 chapter 86 . 1/5
The Bat Family has always had a 'complicated' relationship.
| rmarcano321 chapter 85 . 1/5
When society's laws don't cut it anymore, you need to go 'outside the law.'
| rmarcano321 chapter 84 . 1/5
Supervillains should know that it's not always best to draw attention.
| rmarcano321 chapter 83 . 1/5
I think the reason why most media don't show ships exploding is because they want to focus on something else like a major fight scene.
| rmarcano321 chapter 82 . 1/5
Japan always get trashed, whether it's by a giant monster or a Tsunami.