|Reviews for Pressure|
| Tianimalz chapter 1 . 5/1/2008
Well, never watched this show a day in my life. But you writing style is enough to keep me pulled in, of course x)
I'd advise you hit that cool large button that says "ENTER" on it and put more spaces between those longs sections, but really thats it. You got a good style, (I know I keep saying that, but it is SO true xD) you know how to balance humor in perfectly. You keep the characters so that people like me, can understand who is who even if we've never seen the show xD
Good first chapter.
| FondOfThings chapter 1 . 4/21/2008
hehe... the first sentence is awesome. I swear that's how I'm gonna introduce myself to people from now on.
| sarah username lyre-19 chapter 1 . 4/21/2008
well, I think that the plotline sounds pretty interesting so far. I'm interested to see where you'll go with it )
I just have a couple little nitpicks (not trying to be rude or anything; just politely pointing a few things out to help the story flow better ) )
The biggest thing I noticed is how you have long, bunched up paragraphs. That makes the page look unappealing and deters people from wanting to read it P. You might want to try breaking things down into smaller paragraphs and keep an empty line between each paragraph to help things go more smoothly.
your spelling was great. I don't think I saw any problems there. I think I saw a couple of little gramatical errors here and there, though.
On the up side, I ADORE how you write Kenny. It's GREAT! Kenny really does seem to be a character who sits back and listens. often, he is just a wallflower watching the situations in front of him unfold; and he IS compassionate and, though not alot of people seem to notice, he's proven himself to be more insightful and intellegent than people give him credit for. Your opening line was GOLD and the way you wrote the discrption of the other characters from Kenny's perspective was excellent! I especially liked how you did Butters being underappreciated 'But you can't help but love the little retard' XD!
I also adore how you wrote little Ike! Ike LOVE!
So, over all, your characterization is fantastic, and you've got the startings of an interesting, origional plot. I look forward to seeing more! keep up the good work!