Reviews for Ours
TeamJacob1998 chapter 1 . 1/1/2014
That was such an adorable ending! :)
nessyschu chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
Cute! Loved it. :)
anAnomaLy chapter 1 . 2/15/2010
Really, you've got a gift for Narnia fanfics. Of course, I haven't yet gone through all 108 written works, but do you write other than the Pevensie kiddos? I'm curious to see what you would make of Aravis or Cor or any of them. You have a gift. Never quit.
Wildfire2 chapter 1 . 2/6/2009
Ahh that was well done, I started reading Ed/Su stories so I could get a better feel for their relationship for my story, I find I actually am liking the siblings almost as much as I like stories with Ed and Pete. Very well done! I really liked it.

Anyone But That chapter 1 . 8/10/2008
Aw. Poor Eddie!
Iawen Londea chapter 1 . 5/20/2008
Oh nice! Sibling fics revolving around Edmund and Susan are rare-this is a true gem! Dang. I really enjoyed it. You might be feeding my obsession even more. LOL!
milkywaymidnight chapter 1 . 5/17/2008
Totally loved it! Please write more Ed/Su sibling bonding fics! They're so cute! I saw 'Prince Caspion' today and I think Peter was kind of a jerk. It's like he and Edmund switched roles or something. Edmund was awsome in this one though, all the way through! Loved it!
laily.spenstar chapter 1 . 4/29/2008
i've been looking for stories like this...what happen to edmund after Ford Beruna..simply luv it!hope u keep writing.
claire henry chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
I loved this oneshot, because of the fact that bends together certain apects of the children's personalnality beautifully. One thing tht I loved was that you captured Edmund's age(meaning that he's a ten year old frighten little boy, and not some intsant grown man who knows the conqucese(sp) of his actions after he's recovered from his wounds). also adored how motherly Susan is towards Edmund. you wrote her as I always pictured her in the books LWW and PC. Great Job! write more.
Sandshrew777 chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
Ooh! Hurray for an Edmund story that features Edmund as a ten-year-old!

It's so tough to get children right, but you do. I really feel like this is a ten-year-old Edmund with a ten-year-old's mind, not the author's maturity projected onto it. Very real.

I think your dialogue is strong and smart. Edmund's is beautifully done, and Peter isn't overly brotherly love-y, which is a stellar touch. Yes, he's concerned, and we see it - but he's not willing to show it in front of his sister, even if it IS his sister. There's some things guys don't do in front of girls. Excellent point.

I think the turning to the centaur needs to be a little more grounded. I don't know where Susan goes, or how she catches her attention. I don't even really know where we are - we're in Edmund's tent, but it's not well-defined in terms of setting. Spend some time having Susan stare at some things in the tent, and then send her outside to get the centaur. That will make sense.

I, for some reason, thought this was Peter talking for the longest time, even though you make it clear that it's Susan. I guess the maternal affection is getting crossed with sibling love so much that it's hard for me to get it? I don't know.

The affectionate names Susan uses for Ed? I know what you're trying to do with them, but "pet" is awkward - it sounds like what a lover would say. "Dear" increases Susan's age by fifteen years. Try maybe "buddy" or "sweetheart", or a new moniker that has special meaning for the two of them. That can allow Susan to flashback so we can see all the more these two's special connection.

I really love the action and dialogue here, and I think you really hit Edmund on the head. He's virtually perfect. :)

Strong work!

Keep writing.
Monkey chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
Oh, and another thing...I know this sounds terrible, but I started to crack up laughing when Edmund started saying things in his sleep. Maybe they shouldnt be so comical, and more nightmare-ish? I dont know...maybe having the witch actually chasing his dad? Like, "Run dad, dont let her get you!" Or something similar. Just a side-note. ;)
Monkey chapter 1 . 4/23/2008

Right. Now, this was really good. ;) I got nothing else to say but...MORE! MORE! MORE! You should write a second chapter to this. Like, the coronation or something. You're really good. :D
samwise o'keefe chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
I kissed his cheek. "Youre out troublemaker." It should read OUR ...especially as it's the punchline.

P.s. In Britain we have wardrobes (closets) and biscuits (cookies).

I really enjoy all your stuff I've read so far.
floppyearsthebunny chapter 1 . 4/22/2008
Well written, and interesting. Susan's point of view is interesting as well as Edmund's dreams. I really like the idea.