Hey there,

I'd like to disclaim this as criticism, not a flame. Seldom is progress of any variety achieved through the latter.

I'd like to draw your attention to a number of inconsistencies that I feel have become apparent in your writing: one is Rukia's motivation for abuse, which, while mentioned in passing, are not enough to currently validate such a drastic change in her character. Rukia's constant reaction to underestimation has been either self-flagellation or the impetus to strive on: lashing on the side has never been a constituent. And certainly, she's canonically had the opportunity. The truth of the matter is that her near-execution will probably have been the most humiliating personal experience without universal consequences.

There is nothing (once again, that doesn't much involve anyone else) more despairing than being an outcast of your society, seemingly despised by all and even relinquished by your relatives. And even during those manga chapters / anime eps, she still did not pour her inevitable frustrations on anyone else. Stoicism may find best purchase with her brother, but it's certainly not lost on Rukia. Thus, I don't... exactly see how her present woes have driven her to abuse, when, if anything, Rukia would treasure and be humbled and in awe of the idea of a family more than anything else. We saw how dutiful and grateful she was to Byakuya for picking her in - why would a remote stray, who's already been once denied by a relative (her sister), want to destroy her household?

Second is the fact that, for all of his apparent justification of Rukia, Ichigo's psychology seems to have suffered very little. If you research the general behaviour of victims of domestic violence, you'll find that their concept of self worth and "normal relationships" are very eschewed. With the exception of his occasional reminder that Rukia probably didn't mean it, we don't see enough of the psychological damage done unto him.

Finally, Byakuya's... having mellowed down to such an extent and with no apparent reason is a bit of a stretch, I feel. Likewise, why half the Gotei 13 would involve themselves in this matter, when they've in the past paid absolutely no mind to domestic circumstances: see Nemu's situation, or once again, Rukia's former captivity. Yamamoto may earn his salt on the battlefield, but he's falling well short of pater familias. And yes, people can change, and fic exposing such change and introspection into Soul Society would be a great benediction - but you haven't covered these bases.

I commend you for trying to tackle a serious, often taboo matter in your writing - but I feel that you've given your desired outcome (apparently a pairing?) more thought than your premises.

I'm only even bothering with this review, because I feel that it'd be a waste of all your work for these matters to go unaddressed.

Good luck in the future.

Hey there,

first congratulations on reaching the 50k, this is a real achievement!

Now to this chapter. Somehow it gave me a feeling of being sadder than the ones before. Especially the end with the cleaning out of Rukia's appartement had something terrible in it. As you have writen many times: It really isn't fair.

It is particularly horrible when one thinks about Rukia, just as Byakuya does. It was really good that he realized what his sister wennt through.

I was really worried that you would have Ichigo going in Hollow form against Kenpachi. A good thing that he was sensible enough to stop the battle before things got out of control. But did I understand the subtle hint right, that when Byakuya battle along side them once he got beaten to the ground?

And I have to say that I love Yumichika, and his not so subtle comments. I realy think he would make a great vice or directly captain.

i honestly dont think paper work is that bad, I liked Ichigo's describtion of it, it demands little brain activity.

I cannot wait till you update and yet I really dont want this story to end either.

sincerly

Okay, my computer is acting up so I don't know if you got my first review or not, but I'm going to try to send it to you again. I wanted to congratulate you on your 50K fiction. I hope you will let me read it one day because I am so excited about it. I have to give two points to Zaraki and Yachiru for realizing that Ichigo just wanted to be punished physically rather than fighting him for real. Then, Yachiru called in 4th squad to be on hand to heal Ichigo. I love Yumichika; he is so funny. I like how you have Ichigo and Byakuya slowly getting more comfortable with each other, but especially with Byakuya refusing to give up on his love for Ichigo. I almost broke down in tears reading about them clearing out Rukia's apartment and seeing how empty her life was after she finally left Ichigo. Then it was sad to see how Ichigo and Byakuya both felt guilty in the way things turned outand how they feel lost because they can't change the past. Poor Ukitake; his second lieutenant that he's lost. I wouldn't want another lieutenant either after all of this. It has to be killing him, and I'm sure he's thinking that he's some kind of jinx. At least his grandkids are there to keep him sane. Maybe all three of them, well all five of them, will be able to heal each other as the grieving slowly leaves them. Keep up the fantastic work.

As always, a powerful chapter with a depth of emotion that took me by surpirse and had my heart on tenterhooks. I can only hope that some day I can write as well as you.

I look forward to the next chapter, whenever it may be.

x

This was a great chapter. You really made me cry.

i sorta knew she was gonna die, i just couldn't see things working out for byakushi and ichigo with her presence still influencing them.

it just...i don't think Ichigo would ever had been able to completely accept Byakushi and would probably feel like he had betrayed her even though it's evident he did albeit unintentionally.

poor boy, and poor Rukia, her love life sucked , i feel bad for her.

and Byakushi too, poor guy i hope those two confess already, or maybe they need more influence from Kenpachi becuz i lurve him and lol

it's depressing but at the same time a relief now Ichigo can start again, and i'm not trying to be a perv or anything but...is ichigo seme? and is there gonna be a X scene?

just asking, it would be just as good without one actually, the way those two interact is just as fangirl squeal inducing as a yaoi X scene.

so ur updating in December? that's totally awesome cuz my bday's in December and idk, this is such an awesome story and i'm totally geeking out, in a professional way okay not so much LOL but it'll be great i just know it!

so update soon! :)

oh my god, this is an incredible story, i won't even call it a fanfic , it's so much more then that.

wow, the style of writing is very nice i really love the way you write, and the plot is totally my style i'm really glad that there are writers who really know how to pick themes from Bleach.

and i'm like probably gonna cry my eyes out, i mean Wow, it's really intense and i'm so glad Rukia's not pointlessly beating Ichi-kun, it's stress right? doesn't she still love him?

i mean i'm looking forward to the yaoi part but i need to know omg omg omg .

and Byakuya is so...wow, the characters have changed but in a very natural way, i just know Ichigo would have been this way in this situation, i'm hooked, that's what i gotta say, i'm totally and completely hooked. :)

I'm waiting anxiously for the next!

_ yes it was sad still, very sad at first

but I just had to love those kisses!

the conforting of each other!

poor ichi, what would he had done without

the love and support of his "best friend"

bya _

LOVING IT!

please update when you can!

good luck!

Oh my...was the only thing I could say after

reading this chapter, it was very sad how everything

happened

and poor Ukitake taichou and ichi and

even bya, aw!

Sad!

very well done!

great chap. I couldn't bear to take in the last chap as a whole so I skipped some parts. It was just too depressing for me and anything more would give me a heart failure.

:-)

great chap.

*coughlemoncough*

Finally, at least the chapter finished in rather optimist note.

What's NaNoWriMo?

WHY? WHY? How could you? You know you had me crying over here? I'm not glad she's dead. I never hated her, I was irritated, but I never hated her, ya know? Especially after she and Ichigo started to make up a bit. I feel REALLY bad for Ukitake, but things are rough all over in this situation. Things fell apart fast!

Anyhoo, I'm sure you did it for a reason and I trust you. I won't quit reading, no matter how many boxes of tissue I go through! :D

Yes, it is as sad as the other one. I'm glad everything is beginning to straighten out. Ichigo...your life is so unfair (sniff). I love your writing! Please update soon!

Yes, this was a sad chapter, but you more than made up for it in the end. I really did almost want to cry when Ichigo finally had to tell the kids about their mom. I also love how you integrated Ichigo's own experience with losing his mother into this chapter. It was a subtle reminder that he too had lost his mom at an early age and to a hollow. Hopefully, his experiences will help his children so they don't suffer through the guilt that he did, which I'm sure will be the case with his son. He might feel that if he had never said anything, Rukia would still be alive. I was rather shocked when I got to the part of him taking a swing at his dad. More like his mother then we thought?

Anyway, this was an amazing chapter, as always. While I'm sorry that the next update will take a while, I want to wish you luck on your NaNoWriMo project.

I think that was possibly your best chapter to date. I cried through most of it, to be honest, and I think that's why I really loved how you threw that last part in at the end.

I can't believe you were nervous that you'd drive away your readers! Great writing is what attracts people to an author, and great writing is never all fluffy bunnies and ice cream, you know. I think the fact that you can write tragedy so well only cements the fact that you are such a great author.

I'm going to miss you during NaNoWriMo (can't they come up with a shorter acronym?). Are you going to post what you write for it anywhere? I'd love to read it.