|Reviews for This Man I Love|
| IntraSule chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
Wow, this doesn't sound like Ishizu at all! X-D
| Tentaculiferous chapter 1 . 5/15/2008
Awesome!~ That's so sweet!
| dragonlady222 chapter 1 . 4/26/2008
| Dangerous Jade chapter 1 . 4/26/2008
Liklihood that Isis would use the word "hot" and the phrase "rock my world" very slim indeed. The woman grew up underground, so there is really no reason for her to be using modern American slang. Sure, we can all be affected by what we hear, and maybe she would have heard it and started to use it once she leaves said underground world, but I seriously doubt it. Canon provides no evidence for this anyway. Please to be remembering her character. Oh wait, I missed "damn". I doubt she'd use that as well.
Nitpick - "Gods" has no capitalised G. We capitalise G in 'God' because 'God' is a proper noun.
On to the actual poetry. You don't seem to be using any sort of meter - it certainly doesn't flow very well in any case. Also, there needs to be punctuation at the end of each line, or else you don't begin with a capital letter. They're still normal sentences, just in a different format.
There are a few other punctuation things that need ironing out, but I'm sure you're capable of finding them yourself.
There were some nice touches. The thing about her telling people he's "more than the average man" made me nod, because that seems likely. You seem to have a nice handle on how their relationship would go, though I imagine Malik would be a bit miffed about her saying "No one knows him the way that I do". ;) But eh, that's probably not important.
Anyway, keep trying. The sky is the limit, srsly.