Reviews for ALIENS: Worlds
Whitefanged chapter 2 . 11/8/2012
0400 hours is less than an hour. 0800 hours is an hour but the chapter is still great. keep it up
ToManyLetters chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
If this truly is your first piece, congratulations. It's pretty spectacular. I hadn't thought about venturing into the ALIEN fandom before this, but you've definitely sparked my interest.

The narration was stellar. The chapter was a little on the short side, it felt, but I think it really worked quite well anyway - it was almost like a prologue to the upcoming action.

As the Ninth Doctor would say: fantastic!

TML
Josef Engle chapter 22 . 5/1/2011
Ello'

This series rox ass! I am seriously nwaiting for more...lol

J
Mary Anna Witt chapter 17 . 12/15/2010
Found your post at The Reviews Lounge, Too. I only skimmed your story, not really my fandom, but your writing seems good. I was starting to get into it, chapter 8-10, 16 and 17. I do think calling a character "the Man with No Name" or "Man" is a little distracting to a reader, and that in reality, if he didn't give a name to the people he was interating with, they would most likely give him a nickname, even if they didn't call him that to his face. I understand the idea that there is some mystery about his character, but reinforcing it by calling him "The Man with No Name" is maybe overkill. Again, in general, I found it interesting, entertaining, at least from the perspective of a "non Alien/Predator fan"
Cerulean City chapter 1 . 8/18/2010
Well, it was a good first start, but you've got numerous spelling and grammar errors that detract from the story. Do you have a beta reader? If not, a handy link is pasted at the top of the top of every page on FFNet; real easy to find one.

I'd put a bit more thought into your descriptions of the environment. You got a bit existential with the monologue about Einstein and his Theory of Relativity, but after that, it falls flat because your transitions had nothing to do with what you had previously introduced. If you want to continue in that vein, make sure that you're talking about relates to the plot overall. It seems a bit rushed, especially with the last paragraph. Something that seems to be common with new writers is their tendency to think that keeping characters anonymous regards to only giving descriptions about their clothes-no. Give me a little bit more to go off of. For example, how are these faceless Marines feeling about their tasks? Focus on the characters themselves, and not the minute details of background information. Try developing those bits better, and see how it goes.

There was something else I wanted to say, but I forgot what it was, so I guess it's not important. Anyway, take a look at getting a beta reader/editor, and focus on the plot, not the background of the story.

B
Yamamato chapter 1 . 8/16/2010
Very good intro chapter, very descriptive. All in all a very good first attempt at writing.
Vegetto800 chapter 16 . 12/29/2009
Ok I officialy hate you now... That was an excellent cliffhanger and I for one want to know what the colonel's name was. Good work, but I do need to point out that I found a few spelling mistaks and grammar errors, nothing major.

Update asap.

V.
Vegetto800 chapter 15 . 12/15/2009
Not bad. I think the chapters could be much longer, although I see in chapter 15, you did indeed make a good attempt at a longer chapter. Your details are good, but I would say that you can use curse words. I almost laughed out loud when reading the earlier chapters when you basicly censored where the words were supposed to be.

This isn't supposed to be a PG story, but a rated R story. Keep up the good work though and update asap.

V.
shawnspacezillazonyahoo.com chapter 13 . 10/12/2009
A well rounded story! I want to read more it's very interesting I want to know what will happen next? I hope you continue it it's really good keep it up I hope
dragonheart01 chapter 5 . 9/10/2009
The story is written well and it is also funny. But what happen to the good words we always here on tv. but its still a good story
ImmortalMerc chapter 9 . 12/14/2008
Nice story, but the chapters could be a bit longer. Also why'd u cut out the swear words? You have it under rated T so u can have them in there. But it still has a nice plot to it.