|Reviews for Hungry Dreams|
| Shelbystar chapter 20 . 10/12/2009
I feel unfulfilled by this ending. It feels rushed. I have grown attached to Aneele and wish there was a little more flesh to this ending. I wish you would add, even if you just use a few deft sentences, a bookend of what she finds on the other side when she teleports to the Sword Coast. Something like "The sight and sounds of the Rashemi merriment and light and laughter faded into a white hot silence that seemed to last for an eternal moment of nothingness that choked the breath from her lungs. Just as the clawing instinct to fill her lungs became a desperately overwhelming need, she was slammed into a new environment...etc etc etc... and for the first time in months, she felt something she didn't think possible anymore: comfort. For better or worse, she was well and truly home."
Anyway, I am not here to tell you what to write...hee hee. I just really like this story and this character. If you comb through this one, there are a few spelling issues that you can clean up. Besides that, it was a pleasure reading your work.
| Lisa chapter 20 . 9/19/2009
I really hope that there will be a next story! Preferably a sequel? Please? LOL! Yeah, you've already started the next story but I'm willing to beg for frequent updates ;).
This story has a feeling of epicness that goes hand in hand with the sweeping plot of MoTB. I love your character and how you portray the Spirit Eater Curse. Her reactions and dilemmas are so real. All at once they are beautifully flawed and completely understandable. I have really become attached to Ele'ena and want to see how her life unfolds after getting rid of the Curse.
Great stuff and I can't wait for more!
| RonCN chapter 20 . 8/14/2009
This was an amazing story, and I honestly hope that you do continue it because I doubt I'd ever get sick of your girl.
Aneele is a breath of fresh air, I think. The way you wrote the story, she's just a girl pushed to her limits and beyond, and doing what it takes to survive: the lack of sentimental angst and the perfectly portrayed loosing of herself were most interesting topics, and ones that we rarely read about. Besides, I really like the way you give her 'two souls' that need to reconnect at the end - it is a most original perspective, and I find it really intriguing!
Also, I liked very much the way you described the relationships between all the party members - and how, against all pronostic, Aneele gets on better with Okku than with dear Gann, who always seems to be a bit off his depth with her.
Really, this story is probably one of the most interesting thigns I've read lately here on Neverwinter, and again I want to encourage you to give us a closure:
What happens on the Keep? How does Aneele mend - if ever? What happens with Gann?
And if the answers can be provided with this same style, fresh and dynamic and full of dry humor just shimmering under the surface, all the better ;)
Thanks for sharing your hard work! Hope to read more soon,
| Hekateras chapter 20 . 7/8/2009
Yay, a wonderful end. :) I especially like the relationship between Aneele and Gann, and her not quite knowing how she feels about him... you characterise very subtly with your writing style. The fact that he hooks up with Anya and that she walks away without knowing for sure what she really wants gives it an odd sort of not-quite-but-rather-bittersweet quality...
Oh, and I, for one, am definitely looking forward to the next story about her. :) Aneele is a wonderful character. NO WAY I would get sick of her just like that. I'd love to read about her return to CK, among other things.
Keep writing! :D
| Jabberwalk chapter 20 . 7/5/2009
Really is one of my favorite stories! It's very unique and much more fun than the usual fare. Please continue with Aneele's tale, I don't know how you could think anyone would get sick of the silly dear! She's one of the few PC's I've ever really liked. :)
| Harmakhis chapter 20 . 7/2/2009
No...Please, you must do one final chapter at least, and cover the loose ends. What was the gift for Gann? What was Gann and Safiya's reaction to the missing Aneele? What reactions came from her return home to the Sword Coast? I'd think her physical appearance would cause some comments, would it not? Then there is the whole who survived (Daeghun, Duncan, Kelgar, Neeshka?, Sand?, etc.) reunions. Pretty, pretty, please, tie it up in a bow for us!
| Lionpawheart chapter 20 . 7/1/2009
Wow, I didn't actually expect the story to end so abruptly... there's still a lot of things I want to find out and you simply can't leave us hanging like that! like, what was in the pouch for Gann, or what happens at the Keep, or what everyone's reaction would be to find her gone, Please please please please continue with her story, she is not a character you easily get bored with.
| teneery chapter 20 . 7/1/2009
I must say that I didn't expect ending this story so quickly. However, I must say I liked it very much that I was checking very frequently new chapters.
Your character, Ele'ena/Aneele is not one of this feigned fantasy female characters, but person with feelings and sense of humor. A little childish, but independent too. Stubborn, always has her own opinion. How I can not love her? I'll be missing her, till the next story ;).
I was really enjoyong this story. Of course I already knew all MotB plot, but I really liked Your own ideas, like Gann-of-Hens or bad dreams after finishing curse.
And, Your english was really good. I think that I made more mistakes in this short review than You in whole story :D
Story was very good, ecspecially, when we compare it with the most of the storys on FF. Most of them are wrote by Bishop fangirls, what I didn't really like, though ;.
Sorry for my english.
| Soulhost chapter 20 . 6/30/2009
That did NOT just happen! omg, poor Aneele D: man, I could never do something like that (okay, maybe a bit)...but grabs Anya and throws her into a woodchipper GOD I HATE THAT WOMAN! ...*gets out metal bat* I'm gonna go beat Gann up, because he is SO dead! (It was a good chapter and a very good story; you did awesome. And I wanna know what happens with Aneele after being stabbed like that by that friggin' whore! God, I feel so bad for her :( )
| Giselle Vigee-Lebrun chapter 20 . 6/30/2009
I very much agree you HAVE to continue this story i would love to learn more about her great tale.
| Lett chapter 20 . 6/30/2009
Excuse me, but I must to insist. You HAVE to continue this. I've been following Aneele's story and her tale needs a resolution.
And... I'll be wondering about what happens to her (and Gann) for months if you don't.
Pretty please? :D
| dreamavatar0 chapter 20 . 6/30/2009
I loved your story, can't believe it's over. It was great. Hope you will continue Aneele's tale she is a most interesting character.
| Kenchita chapter 20 . 6/30/2009
Sorry for not reviewing earlier! I can't believe it's over, I'm going to miss Aneele.
Great chapter, it couldn't end any other way. I wonder how is Gann going to feel when he realizes that she is gone, it's so sad.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, I had a great time reading it! :)
| Jessica Liegh Johnson Boucher chapter 20 . 6/30/2009
excellent! Very good way to end the tale, although I admit my character readily went for Gann after having a fling with Bishop. My character is a glutton for emotional torture I guess. I hope to here from you again in the future! Maybe a short tale of Aneele and Bishop meeting again, or is it a little much? Anyways congrats on a very well written tale. I always felt the campaigns were a little to removed from emotion.
| Hekateras chapter 19 . 6/28/2009
Nice one! :D The way you depict Aneele's emotional turmoil and mental struggles is very realistic and believable. And now she's bound for Crossroad Keep! :D Whee, this should be interesting.
One thing I've noticed about your writing is that you have a tendency to forget the definite article, like here:
"Main thing here was for her not to let them smell her unease" (when it should be "the main thing")
"Dirty look he had sent her " (likewise, "the dirty look")
Your mastery of English is otherwise amazing, the parts with the missing article are mostly the only times when it just sounds off. I'm not really criticising you for it, either, since this kind of thing is really difficult to get the hang of if your primary language is different in that regard. I'm Russian, and as far as I know Serbian doesn't have any more articles than Russian does, so I can totally sympathise there. :D Just wanted to say that, as a rule of thumb, cases without an article in English are pretty rare and usually apply for fixed expressions (like "chin up"). So in general, it's more likely that there IS an article than that there ISN'T. :)
Oh, and something entirely different - this isn't a big deal, but I think you should have ended "Hungry Dreams" after chapter 17, where Aneele wakes up for the first time since getting rid of the curse, and made the current chapters into a separate story of recovery, instead. It's the pacing and tension arc, you see. The battle in the City of Justice was the ultimate climax of your whole story, Aneele's recovery is strictly little league compared to that and is thus more fitted for a separate story. I assume you'll make things a bit more tense now as she comes back to CK, but that just means that your story will eventually have two climaxes, in which case you might as well just split them into two different stories. It's more a complaint about your formatting than about your writing, see? :D
Hope I didn't bore you with that essay... ; Keep up the great work.