|Reviews for Persephone and Hades|
| Rianeliza chapter 18 . 12/23/2008
Damn. This is some dark dark shit.
Some of your imagery I'm going to have in my head for way to long. I should have taken your recommendation and skipped the chapter you warned about.
Nevertheless, one of these stories that you can't quite stop yourself from reading, even if you want to. Very well written.
| Kizzy Bloom chapter 17 . 11/16/2008
That was amazing. Thats all I can really say. I'm really not into stories about rape, but I enjoyed reading this story.
| SciFiRN chapter 17 . 9/29/2008
I just finished reading your story, while neglecting the writing of a paper for my graduate class, but I think it was a worth distraction. Your writing flows nicely and the characters were well done. Never once did I doubt the voice you gave them.
Is it appropriate to say your violence was beautifully done? It was brutal, violent, raw and sadly real, forcing me to cringe and continue reading at the same time. As twisted as it sounds, I was simultaneously wanting it to end, while wishing for more.
I definitely found your Riddick to be darker than the way I perceived him to be, but perhaps you have him the way he should be. I know some people commented on Jack as a battered woman and stuck in the cycle of abuse, where manipulation occurs on both sides of the fist. I agree, but as a heroine, she did what she needed to survive.
I didn't find it strange for her to find pleasure or even to seek out the pain that Riddick provided for her. Your notes point out that masochists are not born, but created and Riddick takes his time creating those feelings in Jack...over and over again.
Forgiveness? I don't know where Jack stands in the desire to forgive Riddick, but she needs him. She relies on him to be there for her. A constant. She's come to need what he gives her while fearing it at the same time. Maybe...
| Reader8679305 chapter 18 . 9/24/2008
Your writing was tight and your characterizations were strong until Jack became pregnant. You stayed on track with Jack, but you lost Riddick for me at that point. You took us so dark that I feel it was a cop-out for Riddick become less sociopathic (is there such a thing?). It weakened your character building points in previous chapters and made the horrible scenes porn for sadists vs. valid plot building elements. That’s ok, if that was what you wanted to accomplish. Your notes in Chap 1 led me to believe otherwise, though.
You didn’t need to sweeten him up for Jack to return to him. She is caught completely in the domestic violence cycle, which I think you portrayed beautifully. Jack is your shining star here. Smart, lovely and strong, yet addicted to this malignant man. You wrote her so well, you gave just enough to her and left just enough to the reader.
Riddick, though? I wonder how the people who romanticize Riddick would have felt if you included a chapter where he beat the baby and then raped Jack while killing him, because you know it’s coming. How long would Riddick be able to stand not being the keystone of Jack’s life?
A sociopath wouldn’t have changed, he would have continued to escalate until he killed her, too.
Regardless, you had me read the entire thing and then leave a review. Know that I think your fic was a success, even though I disagreed with some of it. I don’t think Jack has hope, I think she wants to have hope to justify her staying with Riddick.
| Devi Lethe chapter 18 . 9/23/2008
This is the first wholly believable characterization of Riddick as rapist I've come across. You did indeed bring the reader down into the dark.
I feel as though praise would almost be patronizing, so I'll just say well done. Fantastic read.
| thedevilyouknow106 chapter 18 . 8/27/2008
I so love this story in a, it made me physically cringe sometimes and laugh out loud, kind of way. And even though I kinda disagreed with the way his crazy ass ways would make him treat Jack the way you stayed dedicated made me root for him, which might mean I need therapy... Oh but besides the, I love how you write everything part, I'd have to say my absolute favorite thing about this story is the little touches you made in the conversations or their thoughts. I now have to go see if you've written any other stories and stay up too late reading them as well.
| Maggie Moony chapter 18 . 8/25/2008
I just read this fic in an entire sitting, and wow. That was very good and very well written. Your story is the one of two good Pitch Black fics I've read and I've enjoyed it alot.
| Nameless Fable chapter 15 . 7/22/2008
hey i love your story!
| Zackery Faelan chapter 12 . 6/17/2008
So far the story has me on the edge of my seat, quite literally. The real reason I commented is because of your note at the end 'Tra la la...what will happen next?' Anytime I see 'Tra la la' I think of Jareth from Labyrinth. "Nothing tra la la." _ I like your writing. It is very visceral and gorey and awesome.
| NefariousImp chapter 18 . 6/11/2008
That was the most twisted, messed up piece of perfection I've ever seen. And yes, the horrible 'extra hole' scene...I'd heard of it before, but never in technicolor...thank god you didn't linger on it too long. But it fit in perfectly with the story and plot.
I consider the challenge you wre orignially given to keep Riddick not fluffy (although in the movie there were tears in his eyes when jack died...course it could have been the 'shine') and the true sociopath and not a poser...I consider your challenge a success!
I loved the ending though, the monster's nowhere near tame, but it's starting to realize it doesn't have to be vicious with it's mate and offspring...all the time.
| MishaNightshade chapter 18 . 6/9/2008
| shleprock chapter 18 . 6/3/2008
wow that was intense! i don't if i liked it or not but i did find captivating.
| lillianrose4 chapter 17 . 5/26/2008
Hi, sorry it has taken so long for me to review this fic, I have loved this story from the begining, I really didn't know how you were gong to end this. Your real life insight has been present all through this fic and told a story and give us information/thoughts/differences that we may never have taken in. You have given us a different opinion to think about, instead of being cut and dried and that is totally me, but now I have a different thought process, and that's thanks to you. I hope you write again soon so I can go on another journey with you, teacher.
| 62635377 chapter 7 . 5/21/2008
I was almost expecting something far worse than that. but it's good. I like this story, regardless of all the rape and torture, poor jack has to endure.
| reisaikage chapter 18 . 5/21/2008
Well most of this is way above my head, but in that whole Riddick/Achilles parallel couldn’t Jack be Briseis too? The sex object that Achilles demanded or he wouldn’t fight. Of course she eventually gets tossed aside and forgotten for his fallen friend/lover Patroclus, but Jackie could probably be him too huh? Penthesilea, Briseis, and Patroclus in drag, fun. I’m not very well read in myths, but Riddick as Achilles is pretty seamless. All the way down to the small weakness in the eyes and heels respectively. Really admire all the work you put into this.