|Reviews for Contact|
| Brian1972 chapter 16 . 3/4
So one story about contact between Earth of the SG verse and the Fleet of BSG where they never establish actual contact before the story is abadoned ...
You should have taken a straighter part. Introducing to much to soon only leads to what happened after chapter 10, a lot of text and nothing happens to progress the story.
| Brian1972 chapter 10 . 3/4
Weir and her replicants are not in Milkiway. Technological they might be able to get there but why should they? If they would leave Pegasus then under gurantee not into the Galaxy of those who kill their kind on sight.
The general story idea is nice and well but there is a high tendency for excess baggage. Had you thought about your plot beforehand and got all unesseary stuff out (like Jessica being some strange creature) you could have been already in the part where the story really gets interesting ( contact Earth & Colonials).
| Brian1972 chapter 2 . 3/4
Ehm is Atlantis stationed in our galaxy in your Fic? If it returned to Pegasus then there is no way that it could be nearer to their current path (given how long the BSG people need to move around and that they never went out to explore much it would be unreasonable to assume that their FTL can travel on intergalactic level).
| majorshane chapter 2 . 1/7
I like where this is going but I'm a little confused.
Why is this girl from earth making all these references to things that she knows the colonials will not understand? Throwing in LA or the name of her home town doesn't add any credibility to her story. 'My cousin Senator Barnabas Collins, my team SG10, PX7D, General Landry, and the IOA' is all gibberish to the colonials. (Gate addresses are longer too)
If I said: "I'm from Mars. Don't believe me? Ha, tell that to my wife Cera and daughter Rejunda living in the Martian city of Clyxpyios waiting to hear back from me right now." That's not convincing proof, it's just words. If anything it makes you sound even less credible.
Now pointing out the several thousand years of planetary drift, that would get peoples attention and make them think there's more to this Jessica girl than made up names and places. Not necessarily that she's really from earth, but it does suggest she's not crazy. The Adama's should have had questions about 'the Ancients repository' and 'dialling addresses' instead of just ignoring it and declaring 'she's right'. So she's right about stellar drift. Big deal. Maybe she's just a clever attention seeker, not necessarily a representative from Earth? Or a Cylons agent? Her only defence so far to that accusation is basically: 'you don't know I'm not a cylon, but I'm not one so there.'
Then she pupils out a holographic projector. This is HUGE. Aside from the tomb of Athena this is the most advanced technology the colonials have yet seen. Not only is it a 3d hologram from a tiny hand held device, but it also has long range scanning capabilities! It is the best proof that Jessica is what she claims. (It's not perfect evidence and could still be a cylon trick, but it's a good start) Instead of oooing and ahing at the map of local space the whole room doesn't even blink and instead the question 'who's Hermoid' is asked. Really? Who's Hermoid? Not who's Senator Barnabas Collins, who's General Landry, who's Samantha Carter? Not how did she come to be on New Caprica? How many ships came from Earth? Where are they now? Why were you 'studying' us? Why didn't you help us?!
Instead we get: Who's Hermoid. And her answer: 'An Asgard. They're dead.'
You'd think the colonials would wonder what an Asgard is (a group? a company? a social caste? a family of eccentric genius inventors? aliens? name of an earth colony?). They would also probably wonder how they died. Instead we have Zarek jumping in with 'I believe her'. I can see Zarek taking a risk and supporting something Roslin is against for potential political gain, or just to make her life difficult. My problem is that the characters are only reacting to and questioning select information. It's almost as though they have the readers background knowledge of the SG1 universe.
"If your really who you say you are," Laura leaned forward still keeping her hands on the table. "You'd know you have nothing to fear from us."
WHAT? That statement makes no sense. If Jessica is who she says she is (from earth and new to Colonial society) then she would have no idea what to expect. Her response to Laura was perfect, but Laura's initial words really don't make any sense at all. 'As president I guarantee you have nothing to fear from us if you are telling the truth.' That would make sense and still lead into Jessica's response.
Roslin stood up. "You have no right to judge us."
"You're correct." Jessica deactivated the map. "What you're forgetting, is that I do have the right to decide if I should even allow you anywhere near Earth."
WHAT!? There's no way this Jessica girl has the authority to invite or uninvited people to earth. Her rank, if she's military, would be Lt. Colonel at best. Also, pretty sure she's judging.
The Commander stood up. "You can't take away hope from our people."
Isn't he an admiral? Also since we are talking about Earth as a real physical place not an ancient myth, is 'hope' really the thing you should be worried about? Wouldn't 'help' and 'diplomatic relations' and 'military support' be the bigger concern?
"You seemed to have forgotten about it on New Caprica."
What does that even mean? They were no longer actively pursuing the legend of Earth? What does that have to do with anything? Or maybe it refers to the treatment of prisoners again? New Caprica had more terrorism and gorilla warfare tactics then prisoner abuse (from the colonial side). These are the very tactics the SGC used against the Goauld. What does that have to do with whether or not Jessica will 'allow' the Colonials the opportunity to meet the Tau'Ri?
Tom nodded. "She has a point."
Does she? What is it, the break from searching for Earth or the Colonial violent streak?
...The Vice President faced Roslin again. "Madame President, by what conceit did we think that our Earth brothers would be exactly like us?"
That's her point? Wow, she needs to work on her communication skills badly.
"I hate to say it," Jessica interjected, "but Vice President Zarek has a point. Our planet has defeated the Gou'ald, the Ori, and have the hovering threat of the Wraith." She put her hands on her hips. "What makes you think we want to take on one more enemy?"
Now it's his point? Ok cool, whatever. Also if she's been studying the Colonials she would know that Cylon tech is no match for Asgard tech.
"If you have defeated other invaders," Bill Adama observed, "then helping us defeat the Cylons should be simple for you."
These names are gibberish to the Colonials without context. If I said "we Martians defeated the Cromags, the Lorn, AND the Crayotags!" You don't know if those are small pirate groups, vast interstellar alien empires, or opposing high school debate teams.
Then she starts explaining the political situation on Earth.
Why is Jessica revealing SO MUCH info about earth and it's former allies and conquests? This is sensitive information and she should know that she does not have the authority to reveal so much. Even if she was acting with permission/orders from earth she should still know to start off slowly instead of dumping a crap load of information on the colonial government. The fact that earth exists is a huge bombshell with massive practical and emotional ramifications. Going on about Ori and Replicaters and Goauld is only going to overload people. Revealing that earth is mostly unaware of interplanetary life is confusing to the Colonials and disadvantageous to the SGC. It just doesn't need to be said.
Roslin sat back down. "Then enlighten us."
"Now you sound like Baltar."
Lol how does that make her sound like Baltar? In that context Roslin was asking for more information about Earth. Jessica is being unnecessarily confrontational with a line like that. It feels like you, the author, used that as a means to bring up religion as part of the flow of conversation. And apparently the whole Colonial group has now accepted that she is from Earth now. Based on what evidence?
...She gave the President an odd smile. "He's right about there only being one god."
Wow. Firstly in SG1, unlike other tv shows like Supernatural or Touched by an Angel, the existence of one God is a matter of opinion and personal belief, not established cannon. This is just like real life. There are people that believe in 1 god or multiple gods or spirits or no gods. It is disrespectful and arrogant to factually declare your religion correct and other peoples incorrect. Secondly all SG teams know that most people around the galaxy worship a pantheon of gods thanks to alien interference. Common sense says to NOT criticize these beliefs as it tends to alienate potential allies UNLESS said false god is actively enslaving people. Religious beliefs can be discussed later on, right now there's 40,000 people in desperate need of help. Thirdly the religion of a group has nothing to do with deciding to aid refugees or pick a fight with a new enemy. (On that note: the SGC has always had a policy of opposing enemies of humanity and freedom where ever they might be. Jessica might just be bluffing when she suggested Earth might not want to fight the Cylons, but I don't see why she'd do that. If she wasn't bluffing then she is basically contradicting the direction of all the SG series to date.)
"I wish Dr. Jackson was here. He's so much better at this."
Yes. Yes he clearly is.
I'm not trying to flame or troll, I actually really love this story so far. I just feel like with some tweaking the flow of the conversation can feel a lot more natural an the characters could feel less 2 dimensional.
| Random69uk chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
I loved the start of this story. Some great writing and Jessica's uber snobbyness is realy well done (Nice to see someone from the SGC who isn't part of the 'Team America' brigade).
However, you kind of lost me whith the 'supernatural' stuff. I afraid it's one plot twist too far. Multi-crossovers rarely work (I can only think of one good one) and I'm afraid the same is true with this one.
If you had stuck with being a 'SGC-team-on-Galactica-and-gets-cuaght' piece this would have been one of best BSG/SG crossover out there, but as it is ...
Oh well, sorry I'm being very positive. Don't take it personnaly, you realy are a good writer.
| ShadowCub chapter 16 . 12/31/2009
Get rid of all of the vampires.
| Trife chapter 16 . 12/31/2009
Good update. Though there was noting really going on in this chapter. Please update soon!
| Trife chapter 15 . 9/23/2009
good update. It looks like things are about to get interesting on the BSG. Please update soon!
| enderverse chapter 14 . 9/15/2009
I'll probably reread this story after the dark shadows movie comes out.
| ShadowCub chapter 13 . 7/23/2009
Jessica is making too many stupid mistakes.
| Nuadha chapter 13 . 7/15/2009
Yay your back. Sorry about the cat.
| sh777 chapter 12 . 5/20/2009
This is quite interesting. Update soon. Good luck on your novels.
| the grey mage chapter 10 . 4/4/2009
oh well. up to chapter 7 this was a really good read.
| the grey mage chapter 9 . 4/4/2009
how do they know about the cylons?
| the grey mage chapter 8 . 4/4/2009
what the fuck is with this chapter?
its like you threw in characters for no reason. absolutely no reason.
i know they are important personalities in their respected shows, but to deviate from the galactica, the Daedalus's investigation, to something else... why would they have some one with a "crippling" issue be head of a team? with the clues you put in this good so far till this chapter, i'm thinking werewolf. which is retarded. i would understand emotional issues. maybe deformities. bah. i really like this. i am going to continue reading, hoping for the best.