|Reviews for Onions|
| Calliecature chapter 1 . 11/6/2017
Hello, I know this fic is from a loooong time ago. But I got here for some nostalgic reason and I just want to say: I love your fic.
The start was good, laying down the environment and situation. I'm not sure if I should even critic this because I'm sure you have improved by now. But the "little did she know how much he wanted to help" was a bit on the nose. It's a bit challenging sometimes. But Hiei is powered by mystery. So if you're going to describe that he wants to help, you were right to describe that he looks aloof. But add something contradictory like he was already glancing at the vegetables, trying to look for this onion.
I love his reactions at his onion encounter and how he was all unsure about the simple task. You just made him more endearing and humorous.
And aaaaw, how he protects his sister from the onions, my childhood is fangirling.
"There were three more of the pukes!" That was my fave line. It reminded me of the english dub where Vincent would often roast people with outright savage lines.
And I love his reaction when he realized a vegetable made him cry. "Now I have yet another reason to hate humans." So Hiei, I love it.
But I NEVER EVER thought in a million years the possibility of Hiei crying black pearls. It actually makes sense and... it's so beautiful.
"He. Was. Done." So few a words, but so in charcter, I love it.
Yukina's reaction and realization was priceless. Although I thought she would mull it over for some time since the gravity of the realization that her brother is with her all along would've made her ponder about so many questions. But this is a one-shot so I can understand.
Dang, Yukina in here. It's so in-character yet you fleshed her out more by bringing something that feels like an unrevealed part of her. The good-intentioned manipulation beneath that strategic sweetness. It's adorable how Hiei is under her thumb with that moment when he couldn't tell her no.
The readers could see the battle Hiei has with chopping onions. How he stubbornly hold back tears but one still drop. The tension when he looked at Yukina. Yet the readers know. They know.
How everyone, including Hiei, excluding Yukina, held their breath when she told him not to step on the gem or he might sliip.
Yukina breaking down with both of them holding his black gem tears. It was such a beautiful reunion when his "tears from onions" flushed into relief. It was bloody poetic and thank you for writing this fic.
| a-devious-engineer chapter 1 . 11/5/2014
Waaah... So cute
| roxan1930 chapter 1 . 7/8/2014
Sure, just blame the onions!
| Wings of Wax chapter 1 . 1/15/2014
Always blame the onions!
Hahaha! This was brilliant!
Best way for Yukina to find out about Hiei- ever!
| tomorrow4eva chapter 1 . 11/28/2013
Yeah, I always wondered if Hiei would cry gems too. Nice story!
| Knight Ryder chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
Now I wanna cry! All I can say is AWWWWWWWWWWWW! Adorable and funny all rolled in one. I really love this, Hiei deserve a lot love especially from his lil sis.
| HuangShenLong chapter 1 . 10/4/2012
| BaePuppyCat chapter 1 . 7/27/2012
Awww :'] so cute ... *sniff* of course Hiei, of course... It's just those damn onions again...
| ThePurplePeacock chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
I love this so much. It is simple and sweet and highly unique. I've read some fics about how Yukina discovers Hiei as her brother, but none top this one!
| SqueeFreak chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
AWWWWW! SO CUTE! Yeah, Hiei, it's the onions. Right. Keep telling yourself that XD
| demonfox910 chapter 1 . 7/11/2012
You need to stop writing this beautiful-ass stories. My favorites list is getting too long
| IamEnVIOUS chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
knows the truth.
| FireStorm1991 chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
! The ending..."Yeah, the onions" He cried tears of joy :')
| jtdarkman chapter 1 . 6/22/2012
lol cute. chop those onions boy
| Dragon Ashes chapter 1 . 4/29/2012
HAHA! This is such a YYH thing, too. Hiei's great deception undone by onions...Yukina isn't as oblivious as she appears, hmm?