|Reviews for Harry Potter and the One At Fault|
| Guest chapter 7 . 9/24/2013
As a writer of some years' experience, let me just say a few things.
There is a line, very far on the right side of 'tasteful,' where a writer may put little hints and asides in their work that circumspectly give the possibility of sexual assault voice. This line has been crossed.
There is another line in which the word 'rape' is explicitly used, but the act itself is not mentioned. Rather, this line marks the point before which the character's psychological scarring or warping is examined. This line has been crossed.
There is a third line, the line of good taste, when a 'fade out' is commonly used in fanfiction, the beginning of the assault given before a cut to the aftermath occurs. This line has been crossed.
There are many other lines beyond this. You have crossed them all in this chapter, with as thorough a description of sexual assault as I could ever hope to avoid. I am not 'offended' by this chapter, I am disgusted. You have shown with this that you believe this sort of disgustingly detailed account to be appropriate for this website in some manner or another. That you appear to have a firm grasp of the psychological impact of such a thing is entirely irrelevant. You have gone miles beyond the boundaries of good writing and good taste, and should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.
| Svenska chapter 10 . 7/14/2013
ugh. what a cockblock. really good story though. great job.
| wizardfantasy chapter 4 . 5/7/2013
yeah and quirrell to make the rogue bludger that was in book 2 and it was dobby, :/
| wizardfantasy chapter 3 . 5/7/2013
You really need to learn that with a new speaker you need to start a new line...otherwise you just get confused of who's saying what, but it's still a brilliant story with angst and tragedy and all thing i love in fanfiction ]
| When Randomness Meets Idiotism chapter 13 . 4/23/2013
I absolutely lurve it :D
| HariSama chapter 13 . 3/2/2013
FUCKIJUSTFINISHEDTHELASTCHAP TERANDOMGIAMDYINGOFTHISBEAUT IFULGLORIOUSFANFICTION.
Sorry, I shall translate that. Fuck I just finished the last chapter and omg I am dying of this beauiful glorious fanfiction. I LOVED IT. It was so beautiful. X3
| mesamaryk chapter 13 . 2/27/2013
dark, bleak, harsh, yet also wondrous, beautiful and VERY nsfw. amazing story, thanks for writing and uploading.
| Sheri Contrary chapter 13 . 1/25/2013
This fic was so VERY much OoC, but still really cute. I hate suggesting Betas—because I think they make writer's lazy—but this really could use some clean up (spelling/grammar). Mostly little things though. Mostly.
I was ALMOST going to be able to be happy you didn't use the word brunette in reference to Harry, but you did (in chapter 12, I think). Grr! First of all, it's ONLY brunette for females and brunet for males, but Harry has black hair and is therefore NOT a brunette/brunet...as those words (brunette/brunet) do not apply to black-haired people. Note that SOME dictionaries are allowing these words to encompass black hair, but it's really not correct (PM me if you want further information). *sigh* Second, you NEED to find another way to refer to Harry...other than the "raven"...that got REALLY old after seeing it in every paragraph. *frown*
Another issue...lay vs lie...they are NOT the same word. This mistake is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. To lay means to place or put, while to lie means to rest or recline. One does not LAY on the couch (because that really says PLACE/PUT on the couch)...it would be LIE on the couch (because that says REST/RECLINE on the couch). But to take that further, the past tense of "to lie" is lay (the past tense of "to lay" is much easier...laid). If this is confusing, PM me and I'll try to explain some more.
Also...FYI...Draco Malfoy's birthday is June 5th...he is 56 days OLDER than Harry. But...you started this a really long time ago, so...maybe those facts weren't out yet.
And ewww to what Lucius Malfoy was doing to his son. OMG, poor Draco! :( And yay to Harry for saving him. And...FINALLY Narcissa...took you long enough!
Loved your inclusion of Hermione and Pansy throughout the fic...getting them to be friendly by the end was nice. What happened with Ron though? It's always fun to read about HIS reaction to Harry dating Draco. Hehe. Or did I somehow miss that scene? I sort of speed-read, so it's entirely possible. Loved that scene where Dean and Seamus had dinner with Harry and Draco...they took the relationship well. Again, poor Draco though...having to put up with Harry's Mudbloods and half-bloods. *giggle* And...Blaise...what an ARSE! I'm glad Pansy reconstructed his face with her fist. Hehe. And I loved your little sum up epilogue...no long drawn-out killing of old moldy voldy! It's just DONE! Yay!
| Obscene Cupcake chapter 5 . 1/3/2013
He should have said "because I'm not an asshole". I never get in these stories why they act like someone not being a douchebag is some big thing and they must have ulterior motives.
| Obscene Cupcake chapter 2 . 1/3/2013
sexy dray dray
| dorable2 chapter 13 . 1/1/2013
"The raven"? Why do you keep calling Harry "the raven"? He's not a bird. Perhaps you mean "raven-haired person" but calling a character "the raven" for an entire story is ridiculous. Try "brunet" if you absolutely must refer to your characters by their hair color. Actually, just don't constantly identify characters by their hair; it's just as annoying how many times you called Draco "the blond". Go back and substitute "Harry" for every instance of the ridiculous "the raven" and "Draco" instead of "the blond".
That's my minor quibble. The real issue is your handling of rape and child abuse are just stupid, insentive, unrealistic and offensive. You have a purient interest in rape that is just nasty.
| Amy-Kate-chan Storys chapter 13 . 12/31/2012
o0! So awesome! I loved! Great writing and great story telling!
| StarkidFangirlFullOfRandomness chapter 13 . 12/30/2012
This was so messed up but it was so good at the sane time and I giggled at the start if each chapter XD I'm a horrible person. ANYWAY I'm gonna read more of your work now and make you into my favourite author :D one thing though, this story may have been edited (awesome edited btw) but it wasn't Brit-Picked. As a Brit myself I have no idea what bangs are XD so, yeh :D have a lovey day :3 *no real point to this*
| DELETEDFORGOODDDDDD chapter 13 . 12/28/2012
I'm glad Lucius got what he deserved. He should have died long ago. Draco didn't deserve that crap. Anyways, great story. Depressing but good.
| DELETEDFORGOODDDDDD chapter 11 . 12/28/2012
I would have told Lucius to take his marriage arrangement and shove it. Drarry forever.