Reviews for Onyx
dia chapter 2 . 5/6/2008
okay, this isn't as good as Alice's, but we knew that it wouldn't be. that being said:

OMG! THAT WAS REALLY GOOD! it was perfect, the way that you lead around the fact. if ihadn't of known that it was the pair, i wouldn't have known. it was perfect. you recapped on all that'd been going on and made it not so obvious that that was what you were doing.

good explanation as to why he was there and why he went in. idk if the book talks about that. i've limited my reading of it. (it isn't healthy) but, even if it does, you rocked it! it was meloncoly and amazing with the mood. every bit of it. the way that you made it a little flat with the description. it just added to the fact that he didn't care. he didn't care about life anymore. everything he found was another thing that he had to run from, and that created apathy.

but he knew that he needed someone.

GOSH! that was really good! i like hers better, but that was better than i thought it'd be. thank you much!
BellaTonks chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
This was incredibly sweet.

Poor Plants! XD

I think you should definitely write Jasper's POV. It would be interesting.

I really, really liked it. Great Job. :)
9ud9ir190ne6ad chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
Aww that was so cute, brill!
Nuying chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
Awesome story. You have a very cool writing style. I love the whole thing with the plant as I love the word onyx and not black.

Shippo
dia chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
YAY! PERFECT idea for a one-shot!

i LOVE the details that you added! it was SO sweet and cool. i didn't really ever know what to take from "I've been waiting a long time" but this is what i'll be thinking of from now on. it's was SO good!

YOU HAD A ME CHARACTURE! YAY! i LOVE it when you do that! it's just really, really cool. wait. today Mrs. Schmuck told us not to say "very" or "realy" because their overused. hmm. it's just extrememly, amaginly cool! how's that? in your face, schmuck! (get it?)

the plant! that's SO funny! you know that i sitnk at reading sometimes, so i had to read it twice, but i literally laughed when you said that she "grace the plant with her coffee" hehehehe! (but not like that. that's not how the laugh sounded. i think we established that in a previous reply, but i wanted to comfirm.)it was really good! NO! excedingly good!

and the day! so much was perfect about the day! it was cloudy, the only day that a vampire would dare venture into a diner! and it was so sweet the way that she could feel(
sapphiretwin369 chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
I really liked that! I think my new fav pairing for Twilight it Alice/Jasper now! I also like how she kept pouring the coffee into the plant. :) And I think another chapter from Jasper's pov would be cool!
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