|Reviews for Rainy Day Logic|
| reinventation chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
It was cute! I liked it!
Kara aka Brooklyn
| gergerlovesyou chapter 1 . 3/14/2009
Aw, I've read this story before and I really love it. Great job, Rain is so fun and Of course Spot is so stubborn, but Raindrop is totally right.
Face the rain with a smile on your face. Love it!
Kudos to you my friend on writing a great oneshot!
| AdrenalineRush16 chapter 1 . 10/26/2008
Hmm, interesting. I liked Raindrop's logic but I feel she was slightly (just a tad) Sue-ish. Not bad and not over the top, it's just ranging on the edge. Something you could change with that is have her name shortened to Rain (sorry about the rhyme) Raindrop gets a little long.
snickers "Rain-crazed girl" Tee hee.
Again, let me say how much I enjoyed Raindrop's logic. Totally fitting to tell Spot. He can be like that sometimes.
All in all, not bad.
P.S. I just read it again and I found I enjoyed it much more. It grows on you. :)
| Shadow-ofthe-Night35 chapter 1 . 7/5/2008
very sweet. That would be me, trying to get Spot to dance in the rain. I love the rain, and dancing in it just makes it better. :)
This is perfect.
Thanks, and Keep Writing!
| Briallan chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
Haha, Spot dancing in the rain...now that's something I would pay to see. Cute story. I loved Raindrops view on life and the last line at the end was good.
| 9TailedFox chapter 1 . 6/10/2008
This is a good one. I love the rain. I still need to watch the end of that movie. Anyway this is really cool. I hope Raindrop is in your story. She seemes like a really cool person. I wish I could write scenes like this in my book. Anyway keep up the good work and Good luck with the story.
| Math Slayer chapter 1 . 6/6/2008
Alright, I'm not going to rip you to shreds as I most often do to people because you said flames were going to be ignored. Instead, I will attempt to offer kindly worded constructive criticism; believe it or not, I see a slight potential in you.
First and foremost, your writing in general is okay. You had a few spelling and grammar errors, so maybe you should ask someone to edit your work before you post. In some parts I could definitely tell you were attempting to acheive a higher level of description, but you fell a little short in that it sounded very forced. Unfortunately, perfecting the art of description takes time and practice, so all you can do is keep writing. Your dialogue however failed to impress. It was very immature and at times, downright painful. This can actually be fixed fairly easily. The next time you're writing dialogue, read it out loud to yourself and see if it sounds like a plausible conversation. Would you and your friends talk like that? If not, then you probably need to change it. Take this sentence for example: "I’m supposed to be the most feared and respected leader in New York!" People, most especially Spot Conlon, do not just make statements like that. They show you that its true, or they imply it.
Now, let's move on to character. In your attempts at inserting philosophical ideals into your story, you managed to pull your characters from a very close one dimensional status to a two dimensional status. Anyone who wants to be a good writer needs to acheive three dimensional status with his or her characters. One thing that helps with this is to treat them like real people. Before you write a story, make a list of your characters and write out EVERYTHING you know about them, even things that will never come up in the story. Write their histories, their secrets, their desires, their hopes, their dreams, their favorite colors, foods, and animals. Know them as well as you know your best friend, even if your readers will never see half of the information you know. It will help you to write three dimensional characters.
Lastly, though this isn't important to your writing and you can chose to ignore this and still write a fine story, I have simple matter of etiquette to discuss with you. Being new in the newsies fandom, I'm sure you have no idea of this, but being a longtime fan myself, I have a special place in my heart for the fanfiction "classics" (I guess you could call them). One of these people is a writer named "Raindrop Allen". She's long left the fandom, and I don't know how many people around today have ever read her stuff. However, if they are here, your character of Raindrop (should you chose to write her again) will most likely be compared to her character, and trust me, your character will lose. Plus, its simply bad etiquette to take the character of a "classic" writer, even if you don't know your doing it.
I know I've written a lot, and I've probably been fairly harsh. Maybe you don't want to hear any of it, but I noticed that you said you are working on a full chapter fic. I am merely trying to help you reach your full potential as a writer so that you may enter the fandom as a bright shining star in the abyss of bad writing rather than add to the pile of muck at the bottom. So please, take this to heart, and I'd be more than happy to help if you have any questions.
| Shodow wolf '7 chapter 1 . 5/21/2008
lol that is so funny i like spot he is the best lol and as for raindrop she reminds me of someone but i cant figure out who lol :p lol great story and very much like you :) keep wrighting your stories are great
| ProudINsAnitY chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
lol thats soo true though
I like what Raindrop says to Spot, and even though she's burning my favorite character, she speaks the truth. xP Those are some pretty awesome quotes...
"You don't live, Conlon, you survive."
"You never lived because you were afraid to die."
| elizabeth95 chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
Hm, loved it! I sort got this image of Spot dancing in the rain... very humorous. But that's sort of off subject. So, loved the story! Very good job!