|Reviews for Partially Kissed Hero|
| Whiskers27 chapter 99 . 3/18
Okay. I just wanted to say that although I love your story, I have to disagree with your assessment of Muslims. Islam is the fastest-growing, and second largest religion in the WORLD, and you are judging all those people based on their ancestors and a couple terrorist groups? That's like saying all Christians are bad because the KKK exists. All over the world Muslims are being judged because of the actions of Al Quaeda and other terrorist groups, and that is not right! Also, the Nazi thing - would you judge me if MY ancestors were Nazis? (I'm a white american athiest). Extremists of any sort are bad, and can do bad things, but that does not give ANYONE the right to hate a religion, political party or other group of people because of it. And there are people who stand up for the rights of their people in their countries. There was a very moving story about a muslim girl who stood up for her right to get an education. And it got her shot in the back! The governments in middle eastern counties are violent dictatorships, and give a bad name to all of Islam. I wonder if you have taken the time to meet anyone who is actually Muslim. I suggest that before you judge others on the actions of a few, you DO get to know the people you are judging, and judge them based on their own actions
| alemery chapter 51 . 3/17
I could be crazy and this is a silly idea, but without looking ahead, I'm going to guess that the ashwinder eggs hatch into phoenix. And that there aren't many because people collect them and freeze them.
| SonOfNenji chapter 103 . 3/17
I think this story may have gotten a bit derailed at places.
Still, the high points were a rather fun read.
That would be in my point of view:
* The initial guerrilla initiatives against the Headmaster before and after the Fairy change. (and including the Fairy change)
*The various infrastructure and legalese work setup by Harry; farms, menageries, cities and their defense.
*The various stuff about Dryads from the initial Trelawney, to the duplications using the Cauldron of Plenty, and especially the many upgrades that were given out and used in combat later.
The story went into a steep decline the minute you had that scene with Hermione breaking the statute of secrecy, and it went downhill and on too many tangents as first sent Trelawney back in time (as a loophole against her exposing herself) then added loopholes upon loopholes so that the entire cast was in the past without any significant conflicts or character development (or 'screen-time', really.
You seemed to have written in a lot of plot-lines as sort of an afterthought to empower characters, a lot like those authors of the Boy-Who-Lived which you ridiculed so).
Of course, part of the beauty of the story up until that point was the character interactions and team dynamic up until that point, so when you gave Albus 13 Horxies and then decided to use 3 of them at the same time, you weren't doing yourself any favors by setting yourself up to have to also give the heroes a buff to compensate.
Where before; the characters were mostly equal and each had a role, working together towards defeating a common enemy; by turning Harry into the 'Boy-Who-Lived', you not only ruined the team dynamic by making everyone else seem completely inadequate in comparison, making it strictly "Harry"s show, you also ruined the very character of Harry's that was making this story so well liked in the first place- strategic, assertive, creative Harry who used the tools claimed from Voldemort in productive, non-dark ways. (As the name of the story would indicate, Partially Kissed Hero rather than 'Fairy Sue Hero).
Then of course there were the various low-points in the story like the cruel fates of the Dursleys (with more reminders than some other parts of the story, I'd note) that could really have used a good filtering to avoid the harsh mood-whiplash they caused (isn't that kind of story, contrasts with the moods set by the other part(s).
And of course, hordes and hordes of treasure and artifacts that are vast enough to turn up something useful As The Plot Demands yet pathetically unmentioned the rest of the time (it's a painful loose end. Giving a major part for research to F & G is only a partial solution, especially since you didn't go into enough details on them, and we never hear of the treasure again).
AND the same as the above for a lot of characters being named, labelled and then forgotten; all core characters as well as future characters there-of spontaneously becoming minor ones as you emulate your story based on the Boy-Who-Lived book and simply turn everyone into a toady...
In the end, the above paragraphs could perhaps simply be a symptom of the fact that your Harry became progressively more and more Marty (Or Fairy) Sue-ish, and less and less human, until it was almost impossible to relate to them as people.
You didn't even explore any of their personal powers to compensate! That's no fun! Where's that 'instruction manual' as you put it about the stuff you were hinting at for us readers?
As The Plot Demands at this level is a not very fun way to read a story, because it ruins any potential suspense a story could have.
For future stories, I would suggest a plot-outline; where do you want to start, what do you want happening, how you want it to end; and then work on it, and the more suspense you can get out of it the better.
If you have really long stories or explanations like the one I've been writing so far (see, it's not so pleasant for you to read either, is it?), it feels diluted.
So try to remove any redundancy where you can and concentrate information such that a reader feels challenged.
It falls on that whole 'bad vs good 'enhanced' Harry' stuff you were writing about. This story had a good balance of 'rest' and 'adversity' until you started running out of adversity and thus your victories became more and more hollow as you succumbed to the danger of a Marty Sue character.
| Diavo chapter 45 . 3/17
may i use the first author note in this chapter sometime. because seriously, it is GLORIOUS.
| SonOfNenji chapter 72 . 3/16
There's a problem that you have not forseen regarding the prophecies.
Because of the butterfly effect, even if Trelly can't make predictions about herself, there are entire countries and continents that were irrevocably changed by her interference.
That means those same prophecies she made about people that got exposed to different stimuli this time around no longer apply.
| Guest chapter 103 . 3/15
Please continue this fic. Especially the funky fairy stuff. Hermione's "fairy princess" appearance in the park and the reality casually warping around her was just pure awesomeness! I actually re-read this fic after a long time because I recalled that part out of the blue, and wanted some fairy goodness.
Oh, and Daphne's and Tracey's minds being bent by BWL existing is fun, too. Usually in HP fics it's only Luna that causes that effect in observers..
| pikachucat chapter 103 . 3/13
awesome more please
| VOICE OF REASON chapter 103 . 3/12
hello fellow fanfiction enthusiasts sopa is back if this story and countless others are to survive we sign a petition at
please spread this message to blogs videos and social networks fight this don't go quietly into the night sign before
MARCH 19. Thx VOR
| SonOfNenji chapter 5 . 3/12
God dammit, so much ham here!
So much ham I feel fatter just by READING it!
What have you done, man?! WHYY.
| SonOfNenji chapter 4 . 3/12
Why did you have to make Harry ham it up so much?
For the love of God WHYYY?!
| Guest chapter 103 . 3/10
| Shodaime Gahokage chapter 103 . 3/9
didn't you say that Grindelwald send elf collect new books for him earlier?
following that logic he might have a copy of every of those very accurately detailed book those dryads printed on EVERYTHING.
| Thephantomprince chapter 45 . 3/9
Perfect Lionheart, your stories are great. Characters are believable and funny and the plot twists are great. Even your methods of handling flames are great. Keep it up!
| Lord of the 13 hells chapter 103 . 3/9
WOW, I just re read this story after AGES, and I have to say I'd forgotten how AMAZING it is. Even ignoring the great length of not only the story but of each individual chapter (something a lot of authors overlook) the style and genius behind the ideas in this story are mind bogglingly innovative. Particularly the wizard items, from the language lozenges, that seem completely possible, even probable, in JK's universe, but are mysteriously never used to the Muggle beginner's kit to magic (a salesman's wet dream, and something that should be OBVIOUS to any hack-brained moron in the wizarding world), right down to Dumbledore's little 'mistakes' that cost Harry so much (all of which are completely avoidable with a minuets thought). If you can't guess yet I'm hardcore Dark!Dumbledore and I have recently rediscovered my love of Mature!Harry and Dark!Harry. Thanks so much for writing such an incredible story!
| Shodaime Gahokage chapter 91 . 3/8
in resume Harry became The-Boy-Who-Lived 2.0
"Harry Potter, Hogswart student
a boy who's mind is scatered as a garden
Ladies, we can rebuild him. we have the emotional connection
we have the capability to make the first perfect man
Harry Potter will be that man
Better than he was before. smarter, richer, magic-er." (Wada-da-da Pada-da-da-da-da-da-da)