|Reviews for Partially Kissed Hero|
| DigiSim chapter 29 . 9/18/2008
I love how Mulciber got the Vorpal treatment. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving felon. And speaking of visitors, will Peter and Tink be making an appearance in future chapters? Maybe even have Dumbles, Snape or Moldy Shorts run afoul of Captain Hook and his crew. Keep up the great work.
| Wonderbee31 chapter 29 . 9/18/2008
That ws a marvelous scene with Luna and Alice, one in which you make Luna fairly sane, and one that if Hermione had seen it, probably would have sent her shrieking off into crazyland. Cool part with Harry the up and coming power player, and looking forward to what his new business interests do as time goes on.
| Momonster chapter 28 . 9/18/2008
I love how you keep on killing Snape! every time you did that, i nearly laughed myself horse (and it took me three days to find time to read this all!) oh, thank you for this!
| Crack fic man chapter 28 . 9/18/2008
God i love your story and am already itching for my next fix , please update soon ( i wish i could just chain you to your desk and not let you leave and keep you updating this fic ) i totally agree with you about the karma thing and cant wait for what justice people like dumbles , snape and the weasle get ( P.S. i truly hate ron with a passion , and not just from this fic but also from canon and i hope you make his end longlasting and painful)(but if you dont wish to kill him, perminantLY maiming or insanity where he has delusions and Helusinations about Huge spiders attacking him all the time would also be acceptable, LOL :) I KNOW IM EVIL) also normally i dont like harry/hermione fics but you've done a great job of it ( and in my opinion have been very successful in removing the stick from her ass that she has in canon )
on another note ive been thinking about the whole Artifacts for each element thing and have a Possiable one for WATER drum role please ... THE FOUNTIN OF YOUTH :)
P.P.S. god dumbles is evil , every time i think he cant possibly be more evil you prove me wrong in the next chap , but i love it ive always liked bad dumbles fics and it always pissed me off how practicaly every one in canon worshipped him and never even questioned his decisions ( most of all harry who had taken the most abuse from him over the years but was still to thick to put 2 and 2 together ) anyway i like your much better keep it up and update soon please :)
| Anon chapter 28 . 9/18/2008
I love your writing style, and the constant skipping around makes one keep focused to really follow the story. I also love the Prydain reference.
| Wordlurker chapter 28 . 9/18/2008
That... that... that was the single most disgusting, yet sickeningly funny, shit I've ever, EVER read in my whole life. Making Snape stick his head into a cauldron of acid, and then that *grinning, brownish skull leering back at the class* description was on the same level as the head-exploding thing, but somehow even more revolting. It was still funny though. Gory humor, when presented like that, is just funny, even though it shouldn't be.
Keep up the good work!
| jbfritz chapter 28 . 9/18/2008
| Aesop chapter 28 . 9/17/2008
A bucket of acid? Okay, that's sick. I loved it, but it's still sick. Keep writing
Any plans to pick up your Chunin Exam story soon?
| Justagirlcalledbob chapter 28 . 9/17/2008
*eyes are as wide as can be, mouth is agape, and brain is overloaded by the awesomeness of this story*
I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW AMAZED I AM.
AGAIN, I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
You, are a genius and I love you for it.
| Momonster chapter 10 . 9/17/2008
he's back. maybe harry can string Snape onto his side? (pet dark wizard) how is Snape with Voldemort still?
| Momonster chapter 9 . 9/17/2008
...Oh my god, that was beautiful. his head burst!
| RandomRecorders chapter 28 . 9/17/2008
Hey, Love the story! Luna Darling - Great! I like how your taking and explaining all the plot holes. Everything has an explained reason.
Keep up the good work
| murdrax chapter 28 . 9/17/2008
ohh my what a horrid way to die lol!
| Mr. Me chapter 28 . 9/17/2008
I want to start by saying I like your work. I swear, I have nice things to say, but they're at the bottom.
I really don't like your writing style. I think it's preachy, meandering, and aimless. Especially the sections that explain some of your fandom folklore. Most of Harry's dialogue in the Forbidden Forest was Harry on his soapbox explaining things to terribly naive Hermione. The problem was exacerbated by your Authors Notes. Even though you made a number of valid points, the combination made them seem very heavy-handed and blunt.
Reading through your Notes from previous chapters, I can sort of see how the story evolved from your original concept into what you're writing now. I suppose you couldn't find the proper balance for your protagonist and your antagonist. Harry became more powerful, so you needed a stronger antagonist, but you got carried away, and needed to buff Harry some more. At this point, the extra reading Harry did in the first couple of chapters makes absolutely no difference, as you've offset it with bigger and grander things. It's like your first few chapters are from a completely different story, and don't seem to fit anymore. Kudos for even trying to balance your protagonist and your antagonist (most don't), but it makes for confusing reading unless you square that away early.
You really have set up a Cold War scenario. Nobody can make effective open attacks against anyone else. Right now you're characters are spending most of their time in an arms race, trying to increase and consolidate power. Unfortunately, your timeline is screwy, and you've elected to follow characters rather than concepts. You might instead try following one ritual or maneuver from conception to completion (like you did for rescuing the divination teacher), and then coming back for others. You could either take advantage of time travel and tell the story a little out of sequence, or pace your characters a bit more and spread things out over a longer period of time
Right now you have so much being juggled by Harry et. al. that its a bit overwhelming. Right now, everything is jumping around very fast and very loose, which doesn't fit with the intense planning and mind games your characters are undertaking. The long section of bringing Hermione up-to-date on everything was blisteringly fast paced and introduced new concepts with brutal frequency. Take, for instance, the fairy mound section of your story. Having Harry and Luna explain the situation is a good narrative device, but it really wasn't the best timing. You have all the time in the world, so pace yourself. You can afford to focus on one or two things at a time.
This latest chapter, particularly the section with Trelawney the Dryad, was very nice. It explained what was going to happen, and what might go wrong. It was very clear and focused. This section is really indicative of some of your weaknesses, however. First off, so much is going on that the Dryads are acting alone. While it does help the characters, it means you have to spend another part of your story catching everyone else up. You also killed all the mystery and speculation about your artifact in a few paragraphs with a huge deus ex machina (she's never delivered a coherent prophesy, and she's never remembered them before, so why now?). The whole story reeks of them. Sometimes it seems like everything comes down to luck in this story, from the Fairy Queen happening by their ritual to Dumbledore having a record of time turner use (that you didn't mention) that JUST HAPPENED to be thwarted because they broke them earlier. And now Trelawney gets a coherent prophesy that fixes the Cauldron. These opportunistic moments are one of the problems with your story. They only seem to become important once someone has a shot at them. If you are communicating these ideas (both between characters and to the reader) they're getting lost in a sea of other ideas that might happen in the next chapter, or getting bumped in favor of another out-of-left-field situation.
This chapter was very good. Three concepts, well organized, and well developed. The previous chapter had several more, and it tended to jump around. It goes 1. Harry trying to blend in, 2. time turners, 3. Luna's family, 4. Daily Prophet, 5. Dumbledore's plans for Harry, 6. Dumbledore's monopoly on printing, 7. the Dryad's furniture, 8. Ron's relationship with Harry and Hermione, 9. Hermione's relationship with Harry.
You have so many wonderful ideas, they just don't get organized enough to do them justice. The insane pace you write at, and these wonderful ideas, makes yours one of the hottest stories on FFnet in my opinion. Please, keep writing!
| howling lycan chapter 27 . 9/17/2008
Maybe Dumbledore has Mundungous Fletcher in the order to get free weed?