|Reviews for Negligence|
| bubblesquirt chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Yay! This is an amazing start! Please update son. When is the next chapter coming?
| ziggy.uk chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Yay, a new story from you, awesome! Great start - you have got it just right with Dean at 15 and Sam just turned 11 the age gap between them is at its most obvious, Dean is a teenager into more adult things and girls and Sam is still mostly a child. Sad that Dean forgot his little brother's birthday but guess he was more concerned with the fact their dad was late back from the hunt and that funds were gone, only Sammy's $5 enabling them to eat!
Although Sam hated going with his dad and brother the day before I think the reality of him being left on his own now will hit pretty quick. John really is an idiot for not thinking how young Sam actually is and Dean is so excited about the hunt that he can't get his mind round anything else!
Looking forward to more, loving this story already!
| Samjacklover aka Sammy chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Can't wait to see where it goes!
| avidreader33 chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Awesome start! Didn't want it to end. Please updated soon!
| Spense chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Very nice. It's very easy to forget that Dean isn't Sam's father, John is. Dean is a 15 year old boy, who is into hunting and girls. As much as he loves his brother, he is a teenager. They aren't known for being particularly sensitive! You struck just the right note with Dean's obliviousness. Far too often Dean as seen as somekind of perfect kid emotionally. Dean is just as broken as Sam, if not more so. Yes, he protects his brother, yes he cares, but he's got a ton of his own baggage, and his father's lifestyle suits him. He's not going to understand Sam's issues althought he cares deeply for him. As I said, you really struck the right balance with Dean.
You've also set up Sam's issues well. The opening section about Sam wondering if anybody would notice if he were gone showcases the dawning awareness of his differences from his brother and father and his struggle to find out where he fits. He is still very much a child, and John and Dean are looking at the world through their own lense, forgetting that Sam's is different by the sheer dint of year.s
Anyway, excellent set up, and I'm looking forward to see where you take this.
| Ms Hobgoblin chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Poor Sammy - his plight is so well written, and the fact he feels as if no-one would notice if he was gone was really sad :(
I loved this chapter, and feel you are building us up to its climax gently... Dean was interesting, caring, but very distant. I very confused to know if I wanted to hit him or hug him!
| supernaturaldh chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Well, I think you tweaked it just right. It was an awesome 1st Chapter... love this story. Great job!
I'm I alittle bias here? Surely not!
| Annna92 chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Poor Sammy! First they forget his birthday, and then they leave him behind! Can't wait for the next chapter!
| calcium77 chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
I'm so excited you are writing another story :) This one has so much promise! Please don't be too long in posting an update? I really can't wait! (poor Sam)
| vonnie836 chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Wow, I feel like crying, no little boy should ever be alone or have his birthday forgotten. You really got me all sad and teary eyed. Hope you will update soon. Hugs, Vonnie
| kokomocalifornia chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Things are not looking too good for poor ole sammy
| Ash8 chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Oh man. *sniff* Major hugs are needed here. That hurt. Poor Sammy. I'm intrigued (and slightly worried - um - in a good way). I look forward o the next chapter.
| criminally charmed chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
OK. First they forgot the kid's birthday and then they left an eleven year old (same age as my own) ALONE overnight? I barely let her be alone for my running across to the store. Similar instructions (door stays locked, phone is picked up only if you know the caller ID number, etc.) but thirty minutes or less is one thing (and a recent one at that)...There are two many wierdos out there as I am sure Sam is about to find out.
| SamDeanLover28 chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
im in love with this story Shante/SDL
| BlueEyedDemonLiz chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Great start and I'm excited to find out what is going to happen next. Poor Sammy. This first chapter painted a heartbreaking picture of life for the young Winchester brothers. Liz x