|Reviews for Evening Falls|
| WishIWasABennet chapter 20 . 6/20/2010
My friend, I don't know if you realize this, but you have created one incredibly sexy vampire. And, no, not Edward. Sebastian is kinda hot and eeeekkk. The cliff hanger literally made me scream.
Also, your Bella post change is better than Meyer's.
Update soon please?
| b3j02 chapter 20 . 6/20/2010
Well I am glad that Bella and Edward found their groove. I can't wait to see what is going on in the world according to Eliza. Have a wonderful week! See you soon!
| persephonesfolly chapter 20 . 6/20/2010
Great hunting scene. I must say the cat and mouse nature of Bella's experience did much to show why Edward considers himself a monster. The predatory nature of vampiric feeting methods whould be a shock to anyone, including a seventeen year old. Good moment, when Bella looked into the doe's eyes and say herself reflected there. Your description of her tumultous hunt was a classic example of 'show don't tell' in writing. It explains Edward's point of view by showing Bella's acknowledging of how different being a vampire really is.
It's not blatant but it's effective. (I'm not surprised Bella was freaked out by the doe but not the bear either. Who doesn't see a doe without thinking 'bambi's mother'?)
Loved the description of vampiric night vision too, the way darkness only changes but doesn't obscure things.
The vampiric notions of time's passage makes perfect sense. It would have to seem different to a vampire or they'd be bored out of their minds. Very perceptive of you!
Bella's phrases made me smile several times. Her "I screamed at you. I cursed you. I asked you to kill me." had me thinking of what friends of mine said their childbirth experiences were like. My favorite line had to be: "if the sun came out and lit us up like human shaped disco balls and a busload of tourists came along and took our pictures." It totally cracked me up.
| MSPT chapter 20 . 6/20/2010
Thank you for updating:) Your take of Bella's first days at being a newborn were amazing and more "believable", because that was always one of the problems I had with BD. When Bella was a newborn in BD, I thought she made it look easy and had too much self-restraint, that it made it so convenient for everyone. Having her lose control for a moment with Elisa, then taking it out on the Cullens made her situation more true to what Edward warned her about from the beginning all along, and not make her an exception. So thank you again for writing and I can't wait for the next chapter!-
| Starshinedown chapter 20 . 6/20/2010
Hunting and sexing and self recrimination! Whooo!
Again, so happy to see an update. Love this story.
| Mouth chapter 20 . 6/20/2010
I'm happy for Edward. He did get his happy ending in the end. :)
Can't wait for more by the way. O)
| Reality Assassin chapter 20 . 6/20/2010
'Hunting and sexing', lols
Great chapter, throwing in a few posh words in there, I couldn't be bothered to look them up, but yeah, pretty darn awesome chapter!
The beginning was frustrating to see them both being so miserable, but it's understandable and they apparently got over it in their own sweet time. :D
Liking the sound of next chapter :)
| Lolawid chapter 20 . 6/19/2010
Yay! Great chapter! A very well-written alternative! Looking forward to hearing more from Elisa! Have a great week! Darn those conspiring cats... Hugs, Lori
| Niqi chapter 20 . 6/19/2010
"it didn't matter to me if the sun came out and lit us up like human shaped disco balls and a busload of tourists came along and took pictures." I just about died laughing. XD
This was really cute. Definitely a chapter worthy of ending their story for a while.
Must you always torture us? D: Now I'm going to be wondering about that message until you write again...after the cats have stopped distracting you...
Brilliant writing as always.
| GaaraIsLoved chapter 20 . 6/19/2010
Wow, when I hoped this chapter was up soon, I didn't think it'd be THAT soon, lol!
But, I enjoyed it just as much nonetheless. I especially like how you seem to know EXACTLY how to get into Bella's head and you're so descriptive about it. Though, I think I was becoming a bit attached to your Jimmy character lol. Can't wait to see what happens with him and Elisa going back to school.
I definitely can't wait to read the next chapter now, but I understand what you mean, with putting off some time for real life.
| IdPattThat chapter 20 . 6/19/2010
I really enjoy this story. I'm glad you are back. Thank you for sharing :)
| GaaraIsLoved chapter 19 . 6/19/2010
I'm so happy you kept going with Evening Falls, I am absolutely in LOVE with this story! Can't wait for the next chapter to come out so I can see what happens with Bella. :D
| iwckkd chapter 19 . 6/18/2010
loveeeeee :) beautifully written.
| persephonesfolly chapter 19 . 6/17/2010
I'm so glad you're posting again. I've missed this story! It would be tragic beyond words if you ever abandoned it. That little lift of the heart I felt when I saw the chapter alert made my day even before I started reading it.
Elisa's POV is fascinating as ever. She has such a refreshing perspective on the Cullens. Bella's POV was necessarily more primal. Good description of the bloodlust and hunting instinct of a newborn.
My favorite part was your description of Bella and Esme's fight, and the way you used the trees falling to show the ferocity of their conflict without resorting to the usual blow by blow and punch by punch. The most dramatic part was the moment of silence when the trees stopped falling. Way to create an ominous beat in the flow of the story! Understatement can be way more effective since it leaves what is happening up to the imagination of the reader. Masterfully played.
Can't wait for more.
| Yay chapter 19 . 6/15/2010
Oh god, you updated! :D
I must say, what an interesting development, although FAR TOO SHORT. But I suppose if it's only half, I am looking forward to the rest. But but but... you updated! :D
And the cracking of vampire skin? MAJORLY CREEPY.