|Reviews for A Great Day to Die|
| madame bellatrix chapter 4 . 4/8/2013
- I have been putting off reading this for a while in it's entirety because I was working on a starfox fan fiction of my own (it's kinda long and drawn out). Anyway,I have to say,this is one of the single best peices of fiction I have ever read ,period. Grammar was superb for now onto the story itself.
-It was amazing the way you portrayed so much about the characters ,their backgrounds in three story itself had me at the edge of my seat,wondering what would happen next with each passing writing style,I like as well too wordy,yet still vivid and got the point ,the pacing is excellent.i loved the plot in itself too and it did not turn out anything like i thought it and all I had to say that I was absolutely amazed and will be reading more of your an enjoyable read and your writing is worthy of publishing.
| Quick chapter 4 . 11/2/2012
this was honestly a very underrated fanfiction and deserved a hell of a lot more reviews. i loved this story and the intake on Fox and Wolf's relationship. great fighting scenes too.
| T chapter 4 . 6/14/2012
Fantastic story! Love the in depth looks into all the character's thoughts & feelings. You write well.
| strandedfox chapter 4 . 3/17/2012
I love to write short stories and fantasy stuff about video game characters. I simply could not stop reading this, everything about this was great. It had action, intensity, drama, emotion, and all the technicality when they were flying in the ships and everything was just beautiful. It was all very well-rounded and nothing seemed out of place. My only wish was that it didn't end! 10/10!
| mccloudfan50 chapter 4 . 1/16/2012
Not bad, not bad at all. :) Actually, this was quite extraordinary, given the fact that I stayed up until 2:30am to finish reading it. I figured you deserved a review, even if this story was completed back in '08. Good work!
| SPEAKERNiGHT chapter 4 . 12/4/2011
I really enjoyed this story, the action, the gut-wrecnching "real-ness" of it all. The way you described everything made me fee like I was watching this in a movie theatre (especially the surgery part, that gave me shivers the whole way through.) I would definitely buy this if this were published somewhere lol.
| Cody Starwind-GC chapter 3 . 10/11/2011
Oh my god this chapter brings back so many memories it aint even funny! man at when Fox finally met up to have a deathmatch with wolf, when wolf said the phrase "You're good, but I'm better" line from Star Fox 64 That made me get a blast in the past of the Star Fox 64 Encounters of Star Wolf, Oh yes, I am so glad that you made wolf say that I am really glad he said it, nice chapter this is.
| 800M23 chapter 4 . 6/29/2011
This is a very good story. You have a good imagination. You really captured Fox's pain of loosing his life. The suffering he goes through in this story damn near leaks into reality. In other words, you described this so well that, like your story gpes, it was getting a little difficult to tell if I was reading this or living it. Well done my friend.
P.S. I haven't read the sequel yet, but if it is even close to this, it will be well worth my time.
| Chimerical Knave chapter 4 . 8/18/2010
A short story that isn't really short at all.
Upon first glance, four chapters seem a paltry comparison to many others on this site. But with a total word count exceeding 40k I think that this story is sufficient enough.
It does the job. It gets the point across. It shows sides that were never played on. It tears apart. Ir remedies. It concludes.
And that's really all that I can say. Though I would feel that the symbolism could be a bit more strong here with ROB near the end.
You mentioned that ROB never mentioned Fox by his name anymore, signifying his loss of self, but now that he has essentially found his "self" again you could've made it so that ROB calls Fox by his actual name in this last chapter.
Just a little bit of opinion from this nobody that I thought might be of use to you.
Either way, this story was amazing and I absolutely loved it.
I can't think of any other words to say to you. You have amazed me four times in a row.
Good job mate!
Or should I say, Tobias Umbra?
| Chimerical Knave chapter 3 . 8/18/2010
The symbolism in this chapter was top-notch. I could really see how Fox and Wolf were two in one.
And the conclusion where Fox and Falco finally meet up and embrace each other. I thought this day would never come.
Ode to Joy!
Job flippin job mate!
Hallucinations can be a real bitch. That's why everyone says to stay away from drugs. Word.
Loved the chapter, though you can already discern that much from my cry of euphoria that saturates this page.
It'll be nothing compared to the cry that I emit in the next, and last, chapter.
Let's see if you finished strong...like Dirty Harry; or should I say Clint Eastwood?
| Chimerical Knave chapter 2 . 8/18/2010
Another side of ROB that many do not expound upon. Good show lad! Good show.
Also, IG reminds me of myself. Whenever someone yells at me I always talk in a quieter, civil voice that would probably infuriate them even more.
Liking this story...though, Wolf is definitely cheating by using that drug against McCloud.
Not sure how this can be a fair fight if one has been drugged and dragged through mental Hell.
I suppose we'll see, won't we?
| Chimerical Knave chapter 1 . 8/18/2010
I can see why chaos Leader likes you know.
Took me a while to step in here, like that new kid moving into a new school stepping into a new classroom, but now that I'm here I feel right at home.
Loved the detail. Loved it.
Though there was this one part in the scene with Krystal that I thought was a tad-bit redundant but it doesn't really matter at all anymore.
| Account Exanimated chapter 4 . 7/9/2010
Well, this story was quirkily excellent :) A weird way to learn the messages that they both did. I mean, did that really require hallucinogenic drugs and the ass-kicking of one's life to learn that life's great as long as your aren't alone, people care about you, and a challenge doesn't specifically need a winner? I guess in the cases of Wolf and Fox, the answer is yes :) This story was odd but the originality, symbolism (the title and ending), characterization of Wolf (and Fox as well in the hallucinations) and of course the great fight scene between Wolf and Falco in this fanfiction was great! The quirkiness was great too :3 (Always enjoy a story with weirdness in it) And for the love of all that is holy and fried, reading Falco and Wolf's damn ibonics was a pain in the ass! But it did add to their "rough, tough guy" personal:) Once again, a great read!
| Foxkong chapter 4 . 7/7/2010
The actual ending was not quite in par with everything else. I guess we can say Fox and Wolf learned their lessons. Fox needs people around him and Wolf needs Fox as an adversary. If the whole story was about Wolf wanting to bring Fox up a level then mission accomplished. I just find that difficult to accept and that to me isn’t the best motivational around. Overall the story was pretty good up until the end. I will probably bring this up again.
Fox and Wolf are the main characters in this story and the narrative focus on their trials. Fox is depressed about being alone although it perhaps takes Wolf’s drugs to convince him of that and the need for people around you. I have read many stories about these characters so it is difficult to find an author who can make them interesting. These characters work within this story because you do not rely heavily on the Star Fox lore. I enjoyed your spin on these classic characters especially with Wolf where you created an original back-story. The two characters are like two sides of the same coin. You cannot help but think that if Wolf was raised with a loving family and had the chances Fox did then maybe he would not be in this position. They both are stubborn in their own way since they cannot even realize what is right in front of them. Wolf may think he has to continue hunting Fox but it’s his team that is proving the support and structure in his life. Although I have read quite a few stories to express Fox in a dark time this story does a better way to bring out those feelings in a more natural and perhaps more threatening way. We spent a lot of time with these characters in few chapters yet a reader can come out if it with their own interpretation and understanding of the characters. They develop quite a lot in such a short period, taking lessons away from each other. If there was a fault with the characters it wold be the final solution at the end which was disappointing to say the least. Although Fox is played in a traditional sense I have to comment on Wolf again. He is the typical rival in this story but the “hunter” aspect is a nice touch and the narrative added at that one chapter really lets this character stand on his own two feet not tied down by the Star Fox lore. All the other characters performed in their respective roles from the vengeful vixen Krystal to the friendly psychopathic Leon. All the characters has a purpose and provided depth to the story. Even with someone like Pigma, the few details you use allow a reader to know exactly what kind of character he is instead of just saying falling back on the usual shortcuts. Kudos for personifying Rob and IG and giving them meaningful dialogue. I like your interpretation of the Star Fox lore; you did not hold anything back.
All Star Fox fanfics seem to contain copious amount of action sequences and yours is no exception. They are excellent scenes, every action or technique used by the character is clear. The fights are all choreographed so the reader knows exactly what is going on and. You have down your research. You know how to make fight scenes exciting and all the right words come together to create some suspense. My favourite moment was when Fox is desperately trying to fly the Arwing as he enters Temple’s atmosphere. The scene is written where I know exactly what your talking about. You also seem to have taken a Brawl approach; Fox and Wolf rely on the fighting style from that respective game. It does work in this story. The amount of detail you use helps to make those scenes authentic. However, I did have a few problems. There were a few points where I did stop believing this was serious especially when somehow Rob continued to avoid death. It was just one two many times. There was no way that ship was still flyable after Wolf did all that damage. I know Rob has offensive capabilities but it is hard to believe Wolf was losing. Using a weapon that had unlimited ammo made the fight a joke. The fight at the end made me laugh especially when Falco, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but pecked Wolf in the eye. I know your using the character animal traits within the fight but seriously Falco pecking Wolf and squawking like a cartoon character when his tail feathers get pulled was ridiculous. The action sequences did serve a purpose and they were exciting if not a little over the top at times.
The real strength of this story and the element that brings everything together beautifully is the detail. You do a magnificent job of telling the story through the narration and every piece of description adds up. No words are wasted in this story and every sentence comes together to make Fox’s dreams seem like reality and create thrilling action scenes. I cannot stress the importance of detail enough. I can probably pick any paragraph in the story and find something I liked. I don’t know how much edited was involved but you certainly made sure to post only when everything cam together. Although I think the conclusion certainly lacked that crisp style of yours and almost seemed like a tacky add on. I didn’t spot any errors although I was annoyed when the characters started quoting the dialogue of the series. Star Fox dialogue is corny it works better in a video game that thrives on that then say a story like this. Your dialogue is excellent, some of the best I’ve ever read on this board so it’s a shame when a Star Fox type line is thrown in for fan service and takes away from the mood. If I had to pick on something I would say you could had even more detail at times. You describe Temple and the history but you could have gone more in-depth about the architecture. I am just nitpicking at this point. Maybe a few more details to describe your general locations such as bedrooms.
I think I covered all my bases. It was a great story and I look forward to hearing from you and the inspiration behind it. Now onto the sequel.
| Foxkong chapter 3 . 7/7/2010
I have seen you around Jaslazul’s forum before although I do not think I have ever read one of your pieces before this date. You posted asking someone to read that relatively new story of yours A Cold Night in Hell. Seeing, as it was only five chapters and not that many pages on my word processor I thought I would give it a go. Unfortunately, you recommended that new readers read A Great Day to Die first. So here I am a few hours later writing this review which I hope meets your expectations. I decided to just do one large review since the story is finished instead of chapter-by-chapter reviews, which I usually do. I hope you take something away from this, I sure did.
I have mixed feelings of what Star Fox Command did to this community. I agree with your introductory point about the story being horrible but it is a shame that so many dreadful stories written on Command’s premise. It is almost laughable that a series like Star Fox with probably the most incoherent timeline and plot holes can create such a thriving fanfiction community. Authors seem to love filling in those holes repeatedly or writing about Kursed, a laughable concept. However, despite this there are authors on this board who focus on the characters, the emotions and the themes that would be involved in a story like this and in many science fiction stories. Thankfully, this story falls in the second category. I would not even call this a Command fanfic. You focus on Fox when he is lonely, desperate and in a pathetic state. Enough with my narrative time to get to the heart of this tale.
I wonder how many people are shocked when they see how long this story and yet it is only three instalments with a very short epilogue? I am impressed with how much there is to this short story in just three chapters. Fox as I mentioned before is alone except for the company of Rob. Taking our cue from Star Fox Command he is drifting in space above the planet known as Temple. It’s nice to see you take some initiative and create your own planet instead of relying on the usual suspects and even creating a history for your primary setting. Wolf keen on seeing the death of his rival engages in a dog fight. I’ll comment on the validity of the action sequences later. Fox barely makes it to the planet on one piece and Wolf engages him when he lands and eventually drugs him with a magic powder. Fox is in a dangerous state of delusion for the next twenty-four hours and for a whole chapter we get to see what he has gone through. Old sins come up as he deals with traumatic moments in his past. You do a great job of establishing Fox in this wicked mental state and we easily are brought along on this perilous journey. I like the way you wrote the dream sequences because they were easy to follow and you always kept the reader strung along where we never when it was going to end, what was reality versus fantasy. The one that most comes to mind is when Fox fights Wolf near the end and I didn’t suspect it was a fantasy but it was. You keep your petal on the gas throughout the story and never let go until the end.
As I mentioned Fox confronts his inner demons one by one. Fox pushes Krystal away and they engage fiery sex scene as she burns him away. I will bring up your use of detail later but it was a very engaging scene and this started that tempo that you kept up. The dreams were very surreal for not only Fox but for the readers. It’s almost like were beside Wolf watching Fox suffer. Fox sees Peppy get tortured in a Venom prison and the largest sequences involved his father at the hands of Andross. There is also a scene where we see Falco watch Fox fall into this drunken, miserable point in his life and he eventually leaves him too. I want to make a quick comment and say you have all the major influences in Fox’s life involved in this agonizing dreams yet Slippy had a very short encounter near the beginning. I question why his sequence was so short. It was a snappy way to start Fox’s hazy adventure but I thought you could have done something more at least compared to the other dreams. As a whole, the dreams were written in a excellent manner. They were vivid, shocking, eye-opening and they moved Fox as a character. You spent a lot of time working on each dream and I think all came out nicely. Fox was tested in this world and when Wolf mentions that most people die just taking a small dose of this drug we can feel for Fox as a character. He is suffering in so many ways, his emotions tugging him in many directions and all we can do is watch.
Wolf all this time is watching Fox and plans to confront him after the drug has worn off and they will have a fight to the death. My favourite part of that chapter which mostly involved the character probably was the narrative at the beginning. Although I wouldn’t encourage walls of text this one felt quite appropriate and really set up Wolf’s character nicely. It’s quite a pathetic story but it puts things into perspective. Wolf always needs a rival, someone to fight or even someone strong enough to kill him. He watches Fox carefully until Rob interferes and Wolf has to go after him. It is funny that Wolf also pushes away his team, not as dramatically as he also pushes away Fox but he refuses their help in general. Wolf goes after Rob and they engage standard fire fight and somehow Rob holds his own. Rob eventually retreats even though Fox is still in danger because Star Wolf starts attacking the Great Fox. Wolf goes back to observing his captive. We learn a lot about his character through the conversations with Star Wolf members and he suffers a similar fate to Fox. Wolf wants to be alone. He thinks killing Fox will be the highpoint in his life, the only point it seems that will keep him going. He is so desperate to grasp onto something that he doesn’t have a clue what is right in front of him.
Fox eventually escapes from his prison and confronts Wolf after a series of more violent dreams. I have not mentioned what I thought about your portrayals of the characters and all the other important elements but up to this point in the story I’m thoroughly impressed. The ending and the scenes proceeding it are disputable. Wolf gets his final battle with Fox and it seems you do like science fiction films but I really didn’t need to see Star Wars on paper. Just having the two light their plasma swords for some reason I just wanted to yell out some line from the movies. Maybe you thought it was “epic” it almost seemed more like a joke to me. It was an entertaining battle but I actually think the first battle in space was a lot more fulfilling. You could have ended this in a number of different ways but when Wolf had Fox pinned down and could have kill him he stopped. He did not think Fox was worthy. Why would he give him the drug in the first place if he was going to turn into a broken man? That moment really killed the story for me even if yes Fox admitted he had nothing left but wasn’t that the point? Regardless Falco comes flying in and rescues Fox. We have another fight scene Star Wolf rescues their captain and they escape.