Reviews for The Gray Men
Knighthawk chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
I found this fairly good as far as fan fiction goes. I enjoyed the use of Legault and Hugh as characters, though you missed the ages slightly. Legault's personality appeared to be different from Blazing Sword, though I can see how it would change over the years. I assume that Legault promoted to assassin between Blazing Sword and this fan fiction, which is good considering the amount of time passed. I liked the hints of Legault's homosexuality being included in the story such as how you implied he found heath 'pretty' during Blazing Sword. I don't really understand why the Tactician (Mark) is being pursued by Bern. Overall I found this a decently well written, albeit short, piece of fan fiction literature that I wish was longer and had a more dragged out plot arc.
The Exile chapter 1 . 6/16/2011
Nicely written, I especially liked reading the dialogue.
Raphiael chapter 1 . 1/8/2011
(I know this is an older story, but I care not. Harrumph.)

This was really great, an interesting juxtaposition of characters and situations. You did a good job describing just enough to give a feel to things, without bogging down the flow of the story. Not to mention, it was good to see a tactician who acted like, well, a tactician, and not a self-insert action hero. Really nice piece.
TheTwilightRurouni chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
You write hopelessness and real world agnst very well. Not the 'I hate my life and everyone in it' agnst, but the kind that speaks of simply being world weary. Of having learned what it's all about and being tired of it all. I liked this, very much so. Legault was fascinating, and Hugh was good as well, at times flat out funny. Question though, I only made it part way through FE 6 before my computer decided to lose it, so I never got Hugh. Did he curse that much, honestly? I really didn't mind, but it's a matter of staying in character for me. Moving on though, Mark was also interesting. I was fighting against myself in a debate over whether he would just die like that, but since he was never given any sort of development, for obvious reasons, I think it's up to the readers to decide if it was written well. I would have to say it was, in the end, although it was abrupt. Anyway, this was a good read. It provoked some serious thought, and I'm glad I stumbled across your writing.

Twilight Rurouni
Bloody Sakura chapter 1 . 6/7/2008
This is absolutely fantastic. Legault's ought to be my favourite Fire Emblem character ever - and that's because I've played all of the games - and I think you've portrayed him really well, with all of his bitterness, sarcasm, and cold humour. I also have a liking for Hugh and I think he was an excellent counterpart in the story (even though his personality suffered a bit towards the end). As for everything else, like the small mentions - Isadora, Nino, Jaffar, Canas - they just added up to the flavor. ;) Keep up the good work!
Kitten Kisses chapter 1 . 5/26/2008
Okay, so I've kinda been looking forward to reading this one. Sounds...interesting, I think.

I admit beforehand, though, that I'm not very...well-versed as far as FE6 goes, so I kinda know some stuff, kinda don't... So if I say something really stupid, just...ignore it? Hah.

Oh, nice entrance for Legault! Hahaha, I love that he stole Hugh's book. Hugh's thought pattern at the beginning is really amusing, too, I might add...

The line about Hugh noticing that Legault doesn't speak about himself much was really good. In that day and age, just like now, a lot of people had good reasons for not wanting to speak of the past. So nice work, there.

Haha! Make someone a good wife someday. That's got to be the best line ever.

I really loved your introduction of Mark! Epic! And how Legault and Hugh decide to help him out... And...dang. I like this fic.

OMG! Legault mentions Isadora~! Now, was he talking about Vaida by any chance?

["I just can't save anyone. Every damn person I ever try to help..."]

That line...really changed the mood of the story.

And Legault's ramblings afterward? Heartbreaking. I mean, I really loved it, but it was so sad. Sad that he'd lost faith in so many things, and all because of what had happened all around him. This is going on my favorite's list. I really, really like it.

And the ending? Wonderful.


piratelore chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
Interesting how you paired up people who don't really have any similarities other than the fact that they come from the same game. I liked how you portrayed their characters, and how you incorporated some of the FE6 plot into the story. Great job :)
R Amythest chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
The first few scenes went by well. The narration suited Hugh. The pacing was quick enough to hold interest, but slow enough to amble along at about the right speed.

My problem is with the middle-end. The fic attempts something profound here, and while I'm left with the sense that there should be some deeper meaning, its execution is unfortunately on the barer side of things. Hugh's characterization went from charmingly IC to Just Kind of Childlike (with the Sudden Momentous Character-Changing Twist [tm]) and, while Legault and Mark suddenly got old man's angst. Well, Legault's and Mark's seriousness wasn't that bad in itself - it's just that we have Hugh by comparison, and the juxtaposition is rather unrealistically shoved in front of the reader's face. The first analogy that comes to mind is Wheeler from Captain Planet, although Hugh here isn't quite *that* bad.

The point in this fic might be interesting enough, but I think it'd have to be spaced out over a longer period of time than we're working with here. (Though doesn't everyone already do loss of innocence in some way or the other anyway? Eh.)

Other large gripe I have is the monologue, but I have something against monologues in general, because I maintain that no one ever really just stands there and talks without doing anything else noteworthy or being interrupted. Also, as a small note, the narration changes drastically between the first few scenes and the mid few - notably the abundance of profanity moving into a lack of profanity at all.

... I think I opened this review box with the intention of saying something good, because I did, after all, manage to read this to the end. That's something in itself. I did enjoy it.
Soul-Emblem chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
Good work. I liked it. Did Nino and Jaffar really die? I've played both FE6 and FE7 but I could never fully understand what became of them.
GimmeTehMudkipz chapter 1 . 5/10/2008

No seriously, this is quite well written. Your writing seems to dodge detailed descriptions of the actual fighting, but that's no real problem - less can be more. Ties up a few loose ends brought in from FE7, makes a few key references, and is a wonderful small, short story.