|Reviews for Seeing Red|
| kalinnnnn chapter 1 . 1/27/2011
Really strange, but really beautiful. The first person works well enough and it's an interesting idea to try and make each paragraph 100 words; and each paragraph made your point clearer and clearer. The last one was heart-breaking, beautiful and haunting at the same time.
| Berserker Nightwitch chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
Great story (again!). I like the idea of Edmund bringing that one chess piece home with him. Also, that last paragraph was vivid. Thanks for sharing this!
BTW, if I happen to be inspired by one of your stories, would you mind if I draw a scene (or more)?
| Taryn Streambattle chapter 1 . 9/18/2009
What can I say besides AWESOME?
| LunaNigra chapter 1 . 1/24/2009
| hugs and puppies all around chapter 1 . 12/12/2008
Absolutely beautiful. I love how everything sort of pieces together and fit Edmund perfectly. Very nicely done.
| spinningleaves chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
I liked the way you focused on both positive and negative aspects. Every piece showed the strength of the color, but it wasn't all just blood based- the ideas to use the cordial was veryy good!
| Lynne Miao chapter 1 . 8/13/2008
Hi Lirenel, what's up? Wow, I think the idea of doing those one-shot challenges is great! Sure helped with that writers block, huh? Because this story is great and you can hardly tell it's from a blocked author.
I like how many ideas you put into the shot, and how you could look at it from such a perspective and find all that...red! Plus, I loved the description. For example: "as if it were light and fire and air all at once." You brilliantly associated the cordial with very important parts of nature, and allowed the readers to imagine it in their own mouth.
The story was very emotional too. You really got into Edmund's pov. I liked the hopeful ending, in which you incorporated how the characters lived after they died. I don't think there's anything wrong with this one-shot! Overall, you packaged incredible intensity and comparison into a subtle 600 words. Great job, Lirenel!
Postscript: Interesting...I never knew about tincture...where did you learn that from?
| Bundibird chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
...I cried. That was beautiful, n a terribly sad manner. I absolutely loved it.
| Capegio chapter 1 . 5/16/2008
Ooh, I loved that last one. It took me a second to figure out what you were referring to, but when I got it, that was a big punch. Edmund is very thoughtful, so it was really in character, too. And I loved your diction when you wrote about the fireflower cordial. Very vivid and lovely.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 1 . 5/15/2008
Ooh, I liked this very much. Every one of your associations with the color red fit perfectly with Edmund's character, and it was very well done.
When you talked about how Lucy finds it odd that Edmund associates red with Narnia, as opposed to gold and light, I was reminded of a passage from The Lost Colony, in which Artemis sees a fiery pit of magma and compares it to a lake of blood. Then he asks himself something to the effect of, "What does it say about my personality, that 'a lake of blood' is the best metaphor I can come up with?" (that's a bit of paraphrasing, as I can't find my book at the moment). I thought it was very similar to what you've done here: Everything made sense within Edmund's experiences and mindset.
I loved the direct contrast between fire and ice - it was nicely expressed, and not overemphasized the way Narnian fiction tends to do. (I hate how fiction insists on villanizing him well after LWW.) Likening Lucy's cordial to life was also very good, and I enjoyed the fresh idea about Edmund's electric torch - taking home the chess knight instead? Brilliant! (Unless you meant that figuratively. . . )
The ending was lovely. I must give credit that you went a wrote the story and managed to avoid the anger and negative connotation of "seeing red".
The one bit I didn't like was Edmund referring to England as "Spare Oom". If he's at the train station in the present, he wouldn't be under that impression any longer, and be in full possession of the memories of their lives before and after LWW once more.
| Val Evenstar chapter 1 . 5/12/2008
This was obviously very well thought out. Great job - vibrant description, long enough to satisfy but short enough to keep the effect powerful. Very well written.
| KCS chapter 1 . 5/11/2008
I say, you get better and better with each of these! I'm in a drabble series myself in my own fandom, and I can completely sympathise how hard it is to trim down to 100 words. And it never sounded like you were trimming, it flowed beautifully. Wonderful imagery, I loved this one!
| Miniver chapter 1 . 5/11/2008
This one's your best yet on all counts: innovation, structure, detail, vividness, emotional truth, and the way it leads us through loss and danger to the bright end. I'm tearing up as I finish it. I've never even thought of imagining Edmund's healing from his viewpoint; you do it with both realism and poetry. The element that I suspect is the spoiler is a beautiful touch, and if it's from the movie, bravo to the movie! (Since you didn't identify it, I won't.) Your final paragraph is beyond any words I could summon to praise it. I noticed, by the way, that counting the introduction, there are seven paragraphs to match the number of books. You've done justice (pun intended) to Edmund and to Narnia.
| acacia59601 chapter 1 . 5/11/2008
Interesting story! I like how everything tied together so well.