Reviews for The Sand Jar
Guest chapter 15 . 3/1
Garbage. Very well written. Personally hated the story line towards the end. Garbage
Guest chapter 2 . 7/4/2014
That was shitty seriously the worst smut ever g home rethink your writing
Dotchi13 chapter 7 . 12/12/2013
You made it sound like Gaara was the girl for a while there O.O
But I love it so far :)
Fenris Jin chapter 4 . 5/5/2013
Well, that sort of escalated a little too quickly.. Made me double over the previous chapter just to make sure I hadn't missed anything.
Fenris Jin chapter 3 . 5/5/2013
Well that was one weird encounter.. :)

Funny though. XD
Fenris Jin chapter 2 . 5/5/2013
Kankuro is proving to be a doting young man.. or perhaps the future brother-in-law? XD
Fenris Jin chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
Ah, am interesting love/hate relationship is underway! Thank Kishimoto for creating Gaara as socially inept. XD
Fushigi Doll chapter 3 . 3/29/2013
Yes, it pleased me XD In fact, I loved it!
AmaiNeiko chapter 16 . 11/16/2012
I liked your story a lot. Although I liked hinata through out the story she was really different from her normal personality. I understand why she is that way due to the explanations in your story. Still I enjoyed this, especially since the lemons were very well written. I like how you noted that waking up in someone's arms in the morning does hurt your neck, lol.
woodlandfairykirk chapter 16 . 9/15/2012
great job(:
Kokoro no Takara chapter 16 . 5/27/2012
JADE! The color is JADE! The fact that you have destroyed the visual appearance of my favorite male character of Naruto has irked me the whole story. HIS EYES ARE JADE! JADE! Without jade colored eyes, unruly red hair, a red ai kanji tattoo, and the tanuki eye rings then the character IS NOT Gaara-kun. He then becomes am original character. Not once in the series does Gaara have grey, slate or dark eyes! GOD this has irked me beyond all else. I am in love with Gaara-kun to the point I made a Gaara Sabaku fb profle and had him married to me. Yet with one detail you have insulted his sexyness!
Kokoro no Takara chapter 7 . 5/27/2012
For one, Gaara does NOT have SLATE colored eyes! Jade colored yes, blue sometimes even. Green at other times. But his eyes are NOT slate! They are nowhere near grey!
Dola chapter 12 . 6/11/2011
whoa...waaay dramatic chapter. im glad that you didnt make hinata overly sweet and forgive Gaara immediately. cuz seriously, thats some disturbing stuff she just saw. although im glad she still loves him. the story wouldnt be interesting if she forgave him so quickly! :)

about ch 11's descriptiveness, i didnt mind too much. it was well-written, to tell you the truth. D and also, readers should kinda ready themselves when they see a fic is rated 'M'.
Dola chapter 1 . 6/3/2011
wow! i've only read chapter one, and not only am i hooked - you had me laughing, smirking, and getting tingles! whew~! xD im sorta glad hinata's NOT SO SHY in this fic. D
StaminaRose chapter 4 . 3/18/2011
I tried reading but the characters were far too awkward for me to really get into. the final straw was reading your notes here on chapter 4

"...Yes, I suppose they are somewhat out of character, but I sort of assumed that..." "...Anyway, since I'm not the author or Naruto, I assumed that it would be implied that the characters weren't going to be entirely true to their natures."

Heres some important advice for any writer of fanfiction. If even you can see that your characters are acting OOC, then delete the chapter and start again. If you feel that the characters arent being entirely true to their natures, it means youve failed as a writer. Your goal is to write them in such a way that we truly believe its them - and a good writer can do this even with situations that arent anywhere close to the original work - such as more serious realistic fictions. You cant simply change their personality and give an excuse as to why theyve changed, because that means were basically not reading the characters we love. True, character development is fine and welcome, but we have to actually see development happen, otherwise its more or less a crack fiction.

Anyways, apart from the character problems, the rest of the fiction was well written if slightly unremarkable. the plot was very weak too, i think after how many days Hinata should know why she was there. this is a glaring problem when there must be a dozen different reasons for her to be present.
181 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »