|Reviews for A Few Angry Words|
| SageModeSasuke chapter 12 . 12/23/2016
Last sentence in this chapter was soooo perfectly timed. Well done.
| Carnival14 chapter 1 . 12/18/2016
Is it just me or when you read the summary, about the bargain, did any one eles think about dr strange?
| Ultra-Pop chapter 61 . 12/13/2016
I can't remember if this was the first full-length fanfiction I ever read all those years ago, but it was at least one of them. To my young mind, this was an amazing tale that caught my imagination and entertained me for hours. Now, re-reading it after five or six years of not even thinking about it, I can't tell if the story has just aged poorly or if my standards have risen too high.
Let me start with the positives: The story has some good original scenes. The Supai mini-arc was one of the things I immediately remembered about this story. The unique teamup of Naruto, Sasuke, Ino, and Tayuya being sent out to handle a mission that dozens of others had failed (and that they were expected to fail), but succeeding by way of a very clever guise by the enemy was, to me, the highlight of the story. Utilizing characters like the Sound Four, who would have good reason to surrender and negotiate terms of servitude, was another smart and fairly well executed plot thread.
The Sakura and Tayuya relationship was something I had forgotten about, and what little we got of it...I liked! It was a small but meaningful little side-friendship turned something more intimate by the end. Killing off characters like Lee, Gaara, and even Shikamaru near the end was a bold move...but we saw so little of them in this story proper that their deaths ring a bit hollow, and seem like they don't affect much. I didn't even remember the first two died after a bit. The drama from there deaths was just me. On the other side I do have to praise the humor. I did laugh in parts.
The bet Naruto made with Hiashi is, of course, the most famous part of this story. It works, I guess. It is unique, memorable, and gives Naruto the impetus to figure out how the Hiraishin works, but getting there took a lot of leaps in how characters acted. Your interpretation of the technique itself, while now retconned in how it works, is novel by taking actual physics into account. I can't speak of how correct the actual science is, but hey, magic ninja's, I'll let it slide.
But the negatives are, in hindsight, more numerous. The stereotypical view of characters like Sasuke, Kakashi, Sakura, and, strangely enough, Neji hurts the quality of the overall story. None of them act like they should. There's also the plot tumor that is the vaugely defined, never once supported in canon, plot tumor that is the Konoha Council. It's a terrible plot excuse because of it's overdone and underthought premise.
The story also suffers from the twin issues of bad pacing and rather abrupt anticlimaxes. The pacing is...judy odd. At times it feels like the story is dragging, especially in the first half, but the second half rushes by with nary a moment to sit down and digest what just happened. Stuff like the Supai Arc should have take more chapters, given more of a view into Nagano and the team's exploration of a proper city for the first time. Let the characters bond and develop. Let the story (and the narration) slow down. Let ups explore this mystery from multiple character angles. Instead it just whizzes by.
In regards to the anticlimaxes: Orochimaru resurrects the three dead Hokage to combat the Third!...but then is killed by Minato and his entire purpose in the story is thrown out the window. Pain is creating these mutant-curse seal zombie berserkers!...but Naruto takes them out in the penultimate chapter with little issue. Also the fact that Kabuto and Madara just sort of leave the story in the beginning and end with no resolution on there end was, well, it left a lot to be desired.
The writing style is OK. Just OK. It does it's job, but doesn't leave me feeling too invested in the ongoings of the plot. It moves quickly and never just sits down to relax, and unfold. My largest complaint is the erratic usage of Japanese terms, especially very cliche ones (in this community), like tebe, baka, dobe, and such. It's...painful to read.
The plot itself suffers from sticking too close to canon (such as the Tsunade Retrival Arc), and too few interesting or new arcs put into it. More of Naruto as a Chunin, exploring the Fire Country, teaming up with other ninja (such as the many obscure side-characters from the show), doing a variety of missions, letting him and others bond and grow. We saw quite a bit of Naruto, but little of the other memorable side characters.
The main romance is just boring. Maybe it's me, maybe I want something a little more interesting and unique, but the Naruto/Hinata relationship in this story felt very railroaded in terms of how it progresses, and isn't well written. I'll give credit where credit is due and say the side-relationships (Iruka/Ayame, Itachi/Mina, and Sakura/Tayuya) were all small, brief, but effective. And even the Itachi/Mina one I'm not 100% sold on.
The ending is...tolerable. It's not the most inspired or well written thing in the world (even taking in account how old this story is, made long before a lot of the latter bits of the Naruto world was shown), and it has very little of the pathos that the main story did at any of the arcs, especially the canon Pain Arc (even if there is a lot less of a mass resurrection copout in this). The curse-seal and Holy Empire things were something resembling good plot ideas, but again, rushed and underdeveloped. If they had been set up earlier, as far back as in the aftermath of the Chunin Exams, this could have been a great reveal. Instead it just happened and I was like "Kay, whatever, what next?".
The question wonder what ever happened to characters like Kabuto, the entirety of the Sand Village, and, biggest of all, the Nine Tails will resonate until the end of time. The other characters I can understand off doing their own things, far away from Naruto, but the beast which has shaped Naruto's whole life since birth has a surprisingly small role in this story. No epic confrontation, no training montage of Naruto trying to conquer, or at least control, that massive power the Fox holds, not even a nightmare scene of Naruto wondering if he'll become like that thing. Nothing. It's just so odd in any kind of completed Naruto story that I kind of like it. Like, yeah, maybe he doesn't ever need to draw on it. Maybe the Number 1 Knucklehead Ninja can find ways to win without the help of his tenant.
I did enjoy re-reading A Few Angry Words after all this time, but I have to say nostalgia blinded me to the fact this story isn't very good. It has good ideas at times, but suffers from poor characterization, a limp plot, plenty of late 2000's Naruto Fan-fiction Cliches, and the ultimate lack of anything truly special relegates this story to the mediocre bin.
| Animesh Khanra chapter 43 . 12/5/2016
what the fuck man what u have done. i didn't like it.
| Guest chapter 10 . 12/4/2016
That twice you have killed gaara before the real chunin exam begin lol... do you hate the guy or something?
| DanzoManiac chapter 61 . 11/25/2016
I think you should have ended it like in chapter 43, with Naruto achieving everything...apart from being with Hinata. I think NaruHina happy ending is too cliche. Him and Sakura together in the end, what a plot twist that would have been. Nonetheless, great story (as usual from you)
| ratedn777 chapter 43 . 10/18/2016
Okay, I can agree this chapter causes strong emotions which can be a good thing so for that regard you did well but the excecution needs work. Now I haven't read this story much but was advised to read this short chapter. The reasons do not justify the means in this, I read the bargain chapter and honestly the reaction could have been a lot more realistic. I know Naruto is too forgiving but this and your other chapter which was connected to this, even if Naruto still loved her, he accepts her gifts wthout question. In the end, this follows the plot of Hiashi being the cold power hungry father whch isn't original. Actually this reminds me of Do I have a Purpose Anymore?, a similar scenario occurs, you need to justify a bit more and while sad endings are sometimes more meaningful, you actually did good though I would have chosen someone other than the the cliche Kiba. P.S. I know how difficult it is to write a story and how hard it is to get it right but you need to work an more valid reasons for the break up and marriage but at least you gave reasons instead of it being random. If this sounds like a flame or doesn't make any sense, I apologise, it was not my intention at all.
| imnotadriana chapter 61 . 10/13/2016
OH MY, I FINISHED THE BOOK
| imnotadriana chapter 10 . 10/11/2016
WHAT JUST HAPPEN
SO MUCH DEATH !
LEE-KUN! GARRA-KUN! MAH CHILDREN
| Cap'n S4lty chapter 53 . 9/29/2016
WAI! WAI! Why kill Shikamaru? Couldn't you've killed Neji the prick or something?
| Alexia Colette chapter 61 . 9/14/2016
You rushed it...wayyyyyy tooo much.
| Alexia Colette chapter 60 . 9/14/2016
woah...I was not expecting anything in this chapter. SAKURA IS LESBIAN? AND THE BATTLE IS OVER THAT QUICK?
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/10/2016
I just want to say , this is oje kf my favourute fictions I've read. Ever. That being said I felt the ending was a little rushed so much build up and thrn bam one chalter ti wrap everything up.
| MarchEclipse chapter 9 . 9/4/2016
Ebisa. Oh my lord, this is hilarious!
| Gold Testament chapter 12 . 8/12/2016
You should've had Kabuto actually say "Check please." Also Kakashi is a massive idiot, even Obito/Tobi would've taken off his mask and broad daylight and slapped his forehead for that ending.