It took a long time
Many brain cells were lost
But I did it
I found it
The next "My Immortal"

Okay, first off, if this is a troll fic...
No, not even if this is a troll fic will I say well done. Reason being? Simple: this is nothing more than a blatant rip-off of troll fics that have come before (case in point: My Immortal). I mean yes, there's a (small) dose of originality with her hating Harry's friends, and the fact that neither Artica nor her sister Riona are vampires (please tell me they're not).
If this is a legitamite fanfic:
Oh my, where do I begin? Wait, I know! Your BETA, do they, or do they not exist? Or did they refuse to edit your work after they had to slaughter the disgusting beast that was chapter one? I'm thinking that was the case. I won't waste time giving grammar and plot pointers because it will fall on deaf ears, my only comments here are : 1) If you're going to name a chapter, at least give it a semi-decent name, "chappy 1" is just degrading to your loyal readers (who are about as real as unicorns). 2) In the dictionary under 'redundant', it says 'see redundant'. 3) I have a question, why do all the people on FFnet who proclaim to be goth love My Chemical Romance? There's tons of bands more up the goth alley than MCR. Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold, Godsmack, even Iron Maiden. I've heard MCR, and they really aren't all that heavy, sorry.
If you'd like to take time our of your day to tell me how preppy I am, and how much I suck, feel free too. I look forward to popping your ego balloon.

"hai bitches"

I literally laughed out loud. Just- I cant. I CAN'T.

DEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEAD EADEAD

Okay, normally I hate trollfics like these that are just copies of My Immortal. However, yours is at least slightly different by making Harry and his friends on the "preps" side, so I'll give you props for that and continue reading.

One more thing I for got to add in my other review. That little comment about how your boyfriend tracks people down and kills them, yeah, that's what we like to call a threat. I don't care if you were merely joking, it's still a threat by law. I'd take it down, because you could get into major trouble.

kairi

I have two words for you: SPELL CHECK! USE IT! And take this down, it's horrifying, this will get you no where as an author.

kairi

You've been trolled, You've been trolled, You have probably been told, don't reply to this guy he is just getting a rise out of YOU, yes it's true, you respond and that's his cue, to start trouble on the double while he strokes his manly stubble. You've been trolled, You've been trolled, You should probably just fold, when the only winning move is not to play, and yet you keep on trying mindlessly replying. You've been trolled, You've been trolled, have a nice day!

OMG! Haha! This waz so funneh! XD

I luv ur work! I gotta read moar! If u evar find da tym do da FELLASHIP OF DA GOTH again 2! I miss dat one 2. ;~;

u shud make a sight wit all ur old storys! Dis sight idn't gud enuf fer ur storys. D:

OMG! I luv ur story! Rinoa is SOOOOOOO AWESOME! I cn't wait 2 read moar of yur work! Plz post moar and post up HELENA again! I signed up just now so I could say dis so I hope u do or u can pliz sent it 2 me? I luvd it sooo much and miss it! ;~;

Oh no, I don't like leaving massive flames, but this merits a second.

-Wow, yeah, whence did the time-skip happen?

-But she IS slutty, and everything.

-Umbridge would totally kick their asses. Of course, being masochists, they'd get off on it.

-She HATES The Golden Trio like nothing else. It's Draco and HIS gang she's all friendly with.

-If you have blood leaking from your eye sockets, you should see a doctor. Haemolacria is a condition, usually indicative of a tumor in the lacrimal apparatus. Its symptom is producing tears that are partially composed of blood. I happen to be studying medicine. Not that you'll understand any of this.

-Ron wouldn't talk like that. Ever.

-Learn the meaning of "sadistically". And how to spell.

-Snape said...? WTF have you done to poor Severus?

I hate you.

I came across your story and just thought I'd make a few pointers. I'll be nice, okay?

-Your characters are whores. Nothing wrong with being a whore, but people don't generally like them.

-Do you know any twins who don't have the same birthday?

-Your spelling is horrendous.

-Either your Beta is shit, or you getting a Beta is bullshit.

-Masochism is looked down on, therefore people generally don't advertise it.

-Learn the meaning of "amiable".

-Is there something wrong with being a lesbian? Anyway, aren't all goffs bisexual and into yaoi and stuff?

-Durmstrang is an all boys school. Are they transvestites?

-If they have lived in Germany, why are they saying "kawaii"? Shouldn't it be "nett", "shoen", or "hubisch"?

-Wearing too much makeup makes you ugly.

-Nothing wrong with My Chemical Romance, I happen to have one of their albums. However, can you please have some originality in music? They aren't emo, or goth (by "goth" I don't mean "goff"), or depressing, or anything. Try Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Dashboard Confessional, or Mindless Self Indulgence. Or anything decent. MCR are practically pop.

-Draco's hair is light blonde. Suck it up.

-Lots of girls are size D. I was a D at 13. No one gawps at it.

-It's not funny, it's a two-liner. and with an outfit like that anyone would stare in disgust.

-I repeat; there is NOTHING WRONG WITH LIKING SOMEONE OF THE SAME GENDER. Homophobics really piss me off.

-You are an idiot, and, to quote you, your stories are indeed "hardly worked". You have put hardly any work into them.

If you think I'm incorrect or have enough balls to defend yourself, feel free to PM me. I'd love to have a chat.

You are a really good troll you make me laugh unless your serious but you need to realize that you can't act like this forever. You are eventually gonna have to grow up and hopefully look back on this and cringe. By the way bitch i would love to see your boyfriend try to kill. Go on you little brat I dare you.

good troll

Oh god it's awful you speak really weird and there is a lot of spelling errors and no normal person speaks like that plus your Mary Sue is too perfect

This story hurts my head.

Please, I'm begging you, please tell me this is a joke?

My sanity depends on it!