Reviews for THE RIGHT GIRL |
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MICAH chapter 1 . 6/4/2008 OMG. Is this is a joke? im praying it is. 'Tell me if my writing has improved a lot i think it did'. i shudder to think of how bad it was back then. |
xMidnight Muse chapter 1 . 6/2/2008 Oh man, where to begin? Well, first off, despite your efforts to improve your grammar - you failed again. The spelling and use of words was disgusting. Also, I'd advise you to not use any big words because you're obviously not very aware at what any of them mean. "Deviously put their baggage in the overhead"? Seriously? Plus, I'm pretty sure that English wizards in the 1900's weren't walking around in hooker heels, tube tops, mini skirts and MCR armbands - especially NOT from Hot Topic. Let's stick to the time period here, hm? Then of course there's the fact that "Dracola" is 100% incorrect. His name is "Draco". "Dracola" sounds like some kind of weird soda that vampires drink. If this was written to get people to respect you as an author (or even a person), it didn't work. |
RIPFRED chapter 1 . 5/21/2008 You might (by might I mean you do) need to get a better beta. ALso witches and wizards don't shop at Hot Topic or listen to muggle music. |
Chan chapter 1 . 5/18/2008 Troll in the dungeon! Awesome. |
x.torayy chapter 1 . 5/17/2008 where to begin... well for one thing your spelling in down right horrible. there is a thing called spell check they make it for a reason. another thing is MARY SUE! sorry for telling you your story sucks but well...its true. |
Sarah Goewy chapter 1 . 5/16/2008 oMg, I am obSESSED with this. |
Guest chapter 1 . 5/14/2008 is this a parody? |
Jessiz chapter 1 . 5/13/2008 Omgosh, I liked your old writing style (it was really unique). But this is still good! If you ever need another BETA, let me know. ;o You're still the best writer ever! |
iluvchocs chapter 1 . 5/13/2008 Great job on giving people an example of a troll. Apart from grammar, spelling, goths, you've also targeted the problem of many bad fics - that of redundancy, which is a real pain in the neck. If you wish to avoid flames, I'd suggest a note at the bottom of the story letting the less informed know that this is a troll. That being said, I hope it is xD |
A Dash of Yellow chapter 1 . 5/13/2008 LMFAO! Congrats, you have succeded in making me laugh so hard. Really this is a great example of a Bad fic. I think i read another one of yours on a diffrent acoount. |
Tallie chapter 1 . 5/13/2008 You need to use more spell check and I hope this isn't serious. "they were twins and had the same birthday." Really? Most twins do. "They were both 14 like Harry Potter who was 14" Yeah I figured he was 14 when you said he was. You didn't need to say it. Witches in England wouldn't shop at Hot Topic and wouldn't listen to muggle music. |