|Reviews for Dark Phoenix|
| TheBattleOfPreston chapter 1 . 3/8/2009
A great story. Very good.
| Hagjo D chapter 1 . 5/14/2008
| skywalker05 chapter 1 . 5/13/2008
Good. The metaphor carries through well. Your writing flows well. I especially like "fire that brought him back" and "a twisted creature of black and wires and darkness". Good use of an adjective as a verb there. There were a couple sentences I'd edit: in "was like comparing a tame camp fire to a raging tornado of fire." the repitition of "fire" is a little bothsome, and "I saw it, enough from our first meeting" could do with some reworking; perhaps you could take out the comma, just so that the meaning of that line is clearer. Good work, a nice, dynamic picture of Anakin and Obi-Wan with a compelling metaphor (fire is, after all, rather hypnotic). I did not, by the way, if it matters, see this as slash.