Reviews for Betrayed
KleopatraSelene chapter 1 . 6/3/2011
First of all let me start out by saying that you are am amazing writer and that you have great talent. This is probably one of the best written stories that I have read on fanfiction and trust me I've read A LOT. Also, I like the needing but I hate it at the same time. I like it because it's very realistic in a way but I hate it because I would love for Zero and Yuki to be happy together. Never the less this was a wonderful story and I am very glad that I stumbled upon it.

Have a nice day _
Giovanna.B chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
First of all, it was vry well written. So emotional too. I specially loved the ending. I got this feeling "If I can't be with her, then I don't want to be in this world without her" A little Rome and Juliett feeling. All in all, great sory and great ending.
Ochibi-san117 chapter 1 . 9/28/2008
Nice fic
ausumist chapter 1 . 9/17/2008
keep writhing its great
TwilightandCanadaforever chapter 1 . 9/8/2008
EJC chapter 1 . 8/30/2008
this was pretty good for your first fan fic... i haven read or watched it either i just kinda came across it on the internet one day and i watched like the first 6 episodes and read some of the manga... i saw on wikipedia that it said yuuki was a vampire but like her mother or someone put her vampire side to sleep so its like shes human i dont know i haven't read or watched enough to know yet... i wish they had this series in English i hate watching subtitles and then when you read the manga what they say is all ways different then what they say in the show ] so confusing oh well its a great series from what i've seen so far. i hope you write more fan fics. your really quit good. ]
Lana Ves chapter 1 . 7/28/2008
OK, good fic. hated the ending in a "I want yuuki and zero to live happily ever after forever" sort of way, but it was a good ending. it almost made me tear up. seriously, there were sniffles. anyway...

grammar; good

spelling; i cant complain my spelling is horrible but i didn't notice anything

smuttiness; not too strong but good enough to think about taking cold showers.

Story: depressing ending but good. for not reading the manga you're doing a mighty fine job. you're doing really well for just watching the first 6 episodes of the anime (amazing anime, beautiful art almost the same as the manga but moving! woot!) but seriously, you need to read the manga whenever you can. good fic. until next time!
Vena Grey chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
There's something I'm just DYING to say here regarding the manga and Yuuki's relative humanity, but it would spoil chapter thirty-five for you and I just can't do that. However, if I've piqued your curiosity, One Manga has each chapter through chapter forty-one posted, at the moment. ;)

Now, for the actual review.

Going into this story, I was somewhat confused. There's no setting mentioned, no reason given that Yuuki visited Zero. I figured that you'd get to that later; I wasn't disappointed. Saving the implementation of the setting until the end is genius - it's sad that this style is so rare, because it's thoroughly enjoying.

Zero was deliciously in-character. I LOVE your Zero. He's truly a heartbreaking character; you did a fantastic job showing his struggle for restraint. However, Zero did promise Yuuki that his life was hers - not the other way around...was Yuuki's submission to him her way of telling him that her life was his, as well? Otherwise, the fact that he could kill her doesn't make sense, because he's always valued her life far above his.

Given the Vampire!Yuuki, That twist changes all the dynamics...


I did notice a few typos here and there, but hardly anything that detracted from the story. I'm assuming you don't have a beta reader, because you didn't mention one, but for not having one, the professional element of the story is excellent. You may want to consider the prospect, though. :)

Overall, great work. This story was beautifully tragic, if not completely in-character. But that's the great thing about fanfiction, is you have those creative liberties.

SORRY FOR BEIN' A SPOILER chapter 1 . 6/28/2008
LOL,sorry but she does turn into a vampire, Kuran turned her. Well, in the should read the manga it's the same it just doesn't have colar and you don't have to wait six days(I watch both XD) Go to if you want to try it.

P.S. Look for Vampire Knight
Brain in a Jar chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
Holy effing moly.

This is absolutely brilliant! FANTASTIC characterisation, and great interpretation of what they'd do in the circumstances. Honestly, if it happened, it would be like that.

You should definately read the manga, the art is beautiful.
Midnight x Poker chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
Hey x

This was so good! I don't dislike Yuuki or anything, but I'm glad that Zero doesn't die for once. This was really good!

You should read the manga lol.

Ariana x
Vimf chapter 1 . 5/30/2008
um yuuki is a vampire? (if u read l8er on.) nw 2
WistfulCotton chapter 1 . 5/21/2008
That was brilliant. Really good writing style, you really captured the characters well, especially since you haven't read the manga - I do recommend reading them too!
LaughsLikeGirl chapter 1 . 5/15/2008
For future reference, Yuuki does become a vampire.
MythStar Black Dragon chapter 1 . 5/15/2008
Whoa harsh and bitter sweet so sad. Loved it.

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