|Reviews for White Room|
| JazzyIrish chapter 20 . 11/24/2008
I was determined to review this last chapter before the craziness that is Thanksgiving in my household. First of all, I absolutely loved the chapter title. To me it sums up all of what makes Dean Winchester tick - he fights for his family, fights evil, fights his own perceived weaknesses, fights so that others can be free from fear, fights to be loved, fights so that his life "can mean something". Yes BJ, you hit the nail on the head. Dean's whole life has been a battle of one kind or another, right up to the very end when he was sent to hell, and even then he lost the battle to protect Sam from the pain of witnessing the horror of it. Oh Dean, guh :(
This chapter was simply beautiful - a strange word, I know considering the topic, but it showed all the beauty in the soul of Dean Winchester. If there ever were a man who didn't deserve hell, it is he. I loved Dean's rambling thoughts while driving his beloved "baby" - about who he is and why he does what he does; how he focuses on protecting Sam and trying to become the man his father wanted him to be. It all rang so true that I didn't realize it was a dream until he started driving in and out of fire and thunderstorms...and seeing his dad.
Loved the way you wrote short sentences (just a thought or feeling makes an impact when read) describing Dean's last moments and thoughts when the hellhound had done its job. Dean really thought Sam had died, and that he witnessed his ultimate failure. Then the continued stlye when Dean felt that he had lost his final fight - the fight to remain who he was, to not give up or give in. But now he has another chance to fight back...and win. Wow!
I really loved reading this last chapter after Dean's revelation to Sam about his time in hell in the last episode. It makes it all so poignant after seeing our beautiful Dean fall apart completely. It took my breath away and reduced me to tears. I'll be curious to see whether the writers continue on the path of Dean's PTSD or whether they drop it now that we've seen the "big reveal". Time will tell.
Thank you so much for sharing the gift of this fabulous story with us, truly a vast undertaking. It was so hard to read at times - as it was meant to be. I love stories that make me really feel, not just merely observe. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. We'll talk again soon. Until next time...
| pandora jazz chapter 20 . 11/11/2008
“Just keep driving and don’t ever look back.” - that was one of my favorite lines.
I really like how you started this chapter. Nice surprise finding it was all a dream with John in the passenger seat and his words to Dean were perfect.
I like Sam's concern after waking Dean and also learning how Dean mostly overcame his fear of fire.
But than Dean's thoughts as you finished this chapter, finished this story, I guess I wanted Dean to be Dean again, even after everything he went through, but he's not and may not ever be again.
So if you were going for the emotional response of tears, than I'll admit that's what happen... even as I read this for a second time while I tried to finally leave a review.
I just have to take some comfort in the final line...
‘Cause I’m comin’ back and I’m gonna kick their evil butts all the way to Hell and beyond.' ...and believe that everything will be OK because the brothers are togather again.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
I drop you a message after Chicago.
Until than, take care.
| JazzyIrish chapter 19 . 11/8/2008
Another wonderful chapter and like the rest, a hard look into a broken, desperate Dean. I'm glad that you had Dean open up to Sam about his time in Hell - both the things that he endured/survived and that Sam and Mary were "with" Dean to help him, to keep him strong and himself. I think that Dean's shame of his fear of being alone is spot on - that is something that he would not want Sam to know, that he really doesn't even want to admit to himself. Family life to Dean; nothing is more important and he cannot feel alive without it.
I think it will be very interesting to see what Dean will reveal (if anything) about his time in Hell on the show. I was shocked when we found out that Dean remembers all of his time there - I truly believed that only some of it was coming back to him in bits and pieces. Loved Dean's confession to Sam about this in the episode. If Dean thinks he can bear this alone, I think he's sadly mistaken, but only time will tell.
Well, one more chapter to go in your story. I'm looking forward to seeing how you wrap it up. It's been a long, long road of torture and recovery for both of the brothers. Until next time...
| kirallie chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
I liked the4 dream with John. I twas good. And Dean's thoughts on hell after. How he had to 'live' with not knowing if Lilith had killed Sam or not. Good work!
| irismay42 chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
Dean POV was a perfect way to end this story I think. I really loved how you wrong-footed us at the beginning, first by not realising it was a dream Dean was having and second by us assuming it was Sam sitting "Shotgun" and not John. That was a lovely touch - having John help pull Dean through. He was in Hell a lot longer than Dean was after all...
The second half of the chapter was really well done too - I liked the break as we saw how concerned Sam was for his brother, before we launched into Dean's stream of consciousness and his determination to get back to the man he was before he went to Hell.
This has been a great story - twisting and turning, with a really effective experimental narrative structure - third person mixing in with first person. It could almost have been a trilogy - Dean in the White Room, Sam and Bobby trying to bust him out of the psychiatric hospital, Dean's recovery.
Well done on this - I think you psychoanalysed Dean perfectly, and you captured his voice - internal and external - to a tee.
| mtee1958 chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
It was a superb ending.
It's sad to know that that Dean is not truly Dean anymore. But how can he be - go through that and come back the same? No way.
But there's the hope that a small part of the "before" Dean remains.
I loved the line that it's a big brothers job to show his little brother the ropes - how to protect his family. That is so major. To be able to give just a little of that weight to Sam.
You leave this feeling Dean WILL come out the other side strong - stronger even. Like he said he survived hell!
Thank you so much - it was a great story - wonderful insight and characterization.
| DeanBean chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
That was great BJ :D
I am so glad that we got a little camio from John in this chapter :D
That was a brillaint ending to a brilliant story!
Keep up the good work
| SamDeanLover28 chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
| Ghostwriter chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
Awesome job. Catch ya on the flip side.
| drkstormynite chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
BJ. This was a fantastic chapter and a great end to a riveting story.
I've enjoyed each and every chapter.
You were really channeling Dean here, let me tell you.
Every word rang true.
Every feeling was pure Dean.
It is a fitting end to a story that doesn't truly end.
As I hope Supernatural will never truly be over.
Thanks for a great read.
Looking forward to the next story from you.
| pandora jazz chapter 19 . 10/28/2008
Sorry for the late review.
Is it OK to admit that I was a little confused at the beginning? I thought for a moment that the wrong chapter had popped up and Dean was still in hell. I had to check through the chapter to make sure it was the right one.
How sad that Dean finally is fighting his way out of hell and he wakes to find himself beating Sam instead. He may have escaped, but not in his mind yet.
It was nice that Dean tried to share what he was feeling with Sam.
Nice scene in the church, though Dean was seeing Layla? as well as Mary in the hosptial room. I almost got confused again as the scenes shifted into the past again.
I did like the ending as the brothers talked in the car.
Thanks for the update and how many times have you watch the Jensen video? :) I figure you were laughing as hard as Shari and Sharlee, I had a few issues with the episode, but that is me.
I'll drop you a line later.
Now lets see if this is going to go through.
| JazzyIrish chapter 18 . 10/28/2008
This was a really rough chapter. Dean psyche is broken and he has physical symptoms of PTSD - the anxiety, anger, depression, etc. You have done a wonderful job of portraying Dean's misery, his apprehension, his fear and near despair.
I liked how Sam is portrayed in this chapter - always aware of Dean, worried about him, of course, but trying to give him the time/space he needs to recover. It's good to see Sam putting Dean's needs above his own - most of the time, anyway. I think you've hit on something that would be very hard for Dean to handle - the imbalance of the older/younger brother image that Dean has in his mind - that he has to be the strong protector brother, and cannot let Sam see any weakness.
Dean's conversation with Bobby about God's existence was very interesting - Dean's non-belief and Bobby's hedging his bets. After someone has suffered a horrible tragedy, it is common to question God's existence. Dean has seen nothing but evil and misery his entire life, so I'm not surprised that he doesn't believe in God. And I loved the last sentence in the discussion: 'Bobby’s voice was gruff, but the love was again present. “That you don’t see how strong you are.”'
I enjoyed the Thanksgiving gathering at the end - a bit of hope for Dean to latch onto and a sliver of joy as he saw his "family" all together. Nice ending. Until next time...
| irismay42 chapter 19 . 10/28/2008
Wow, that chapter was really intense! It kind of threw me that it started off with Dean apparently back in Hell, but as soon as he started fighting off the "demon" I realised he was actually beating the crap out of Sam! That was really quite a shocking moment - that Dean could hurt Sam and not realise he was doing it.
I'm glad the poor boy's finally had a breakthrough though - hopefully he's on the road to recovery now!
| drkstormynite chapter 19 . 10/27/2008
Dean and Sam and brotherly love...sighs.
Thanks for a great read.
| DeanBean chapter 19 . 10/26/2008
That was a great chapter
Poor Dean - but I am glad that he has Sam with him (and his Mom)
I can't wait for the next chapter
More when you can