Warning: To people other than the author, do read the entire review. The beginning may be deceiving. XD

I am scarred. Horribly terribly scarred. I saw you guys discuss this one on the forum. I didn't plan to look but the conversation begged me to. Now I know why your significant other hates this. -.- I barely made it three paragraphs down and decided I need my brain.

Oh, DON'T get me wrong. This is a splendid piece of writing. Good flow. I read it in that creepy orc-voice. Lovely characterisation of the narrator. Just enough detail. Just not my cup of tea. And here we learn that curiosity is never the best thing. XD

The oddest thing here is you getting me to feel sorry for a goblin. And I imagined hearing the whole thing in a goblin-like voice.

First off, your use of language through-out this piece is amazing. But I think the thing I like the most about this one-shot is the POV. Even though it’s first person, it’s almost a distant first person POV since the narrator is described mostly by how other character talk and interact with him. The narration fits well, and you’ve done an excellent job of only giving information when it is relevant. I didn’t realize that the main character was a goblin until the line: That little goblin shit who does the ropes, aye, he'll do for it. You make the reader pay attention, and it’s fun for a reader to pick up on the details as they become important.

Nar is an interesting character. I get the sense that he’s carved a niche out for himself in the midst of a difficult situation. He does seem self-centered and thinks of himself as different, (which is emphasized by how the Orcs tease him) but it doesn’t come across so strongly as to be off-putting. Nar seems to have some cognitive dissonance going on with how he sees himself and how he acts.

And…well, the ending. Um, I’ve heard my share of “mare jokes”. You handled the subject well and it was very important to the character development, though a bit creepy. The last line was perfect and ended the one-shot on a strong note.

Sorry if this isn't helpful as far as critiques go - I couldn't find anything that could be improved.

oh. mY. GOD! I am laughing so hard right now, but really this is brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. I guess it ain't what you say it's the way that you say it.

Character gold, wonderfully funny one-shot. "You are NOT a good girl." !
And the fixation on the apple, and how she took it from the tark, that was priceless. I loved also the bit about him scrabbling over the wagons, and getting toe-holds in ropes and chains... I also like how aware the goblin is of himself, what an honest narrator he is. Absolutely priceless, have I said that?

And now I completely understand ;)

Wow...I'm not sure how I skipped over this before...just...wow. Your brain goes to some dark places, which I suppose is good considering your subject matter ;) Despite his tendency towards bestiality, I have to say, I kind of like this little guy. He would probably be a big Lisa Frank fan.

A story is a story, and while I'm not sure where your ideas come from, they certainly are entertaining.

DFC

What do you get when you put a goblin, Isengarders, and horses together? This very unique and interesting story _. The description was fantastic as always; I could SMELL the muck and stench of orc mingling with the smell of horse, manure, and red apples. Fabulous writing style!

God of Static:

Responding to your review here to make it look as if I have received more reviews, heh heh. Had sex? Or...made love? Just kidding - there is no way that horse was interested in him, even if he did want to treat her like a princess. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, I know it was pretty darn bizarre.

He had SEX with a horse.

Seriously.

But I liked it. It was different and dark and I really enjoyed it. I like how you write orks. These guys are horrible and you pull no punches.