|Reviews for Les Shatteréd|
| Kelsismom chapter 9 . 7/22/2008
I love that first line- Christine giggled through their lips' embrace. I remember wanting to express that but could not so eloquently ;)
Couple of errors:
The paragraph that begins with "The taste of her still lingered with him..." The word seams, as in bursting at the seams does not have two e's in it. And pinnecle is spelled p-i-n-n-a-c-l-e.
And so it has begun, and with Madame Giry and Meg, how terrible! Sounds intriguing!
| Kelsismom chapter 8 . 7/10/2008
This trance that Christine keeps being affected by is very curious and I know once it was either caused by the sound of his voice as he sang, or by the lyrics, but I'm also wondering if it has anything to do with that little lion statue...
I also wonder if Raoul is accepting her answer from her cooperation at the end.
We shall see...
| Kelsismom chapter 7 . 6/29/2008
This is different. I'm surprised that Raoul actually wants her to take up singing again, and going back to opera.
It's still very mysterious to me about Liam, trying to figure out where he fits in all of this especially where some of his interests sound so similar to Erik's...that's probably what you intended.
I'm very interested now to see what Christine's answer will be, now that she's being pushed up against the corner.
And you people out there, start reviewing- PLEASE!
| amyjpond chapter 6 . 6/24/2008
Thats basically all I can saw. Your use of words...wow. You've grasped the old fashioned way of speaking and describing things mark on. Wow. It flows so well and I find myself entralled entirely. You should be very proud so far, and I'm actually surprised by the number of reviews...
It is brillant.
I can't wait for another chapter,
| Kelsismom chapter 6 . 6/20/2008
My Goodness, Woman!
Your writing is so figurative and so beautiful that I cannot help but be in awe when I read each and every time! I can't understand where your reviewers are and why they aren't reviewing! Perhaps a little gentle urging on your part may help? Despite your lack of reviews, never doubt it, you are brilliant!
Originally I was confused about Liam's character because of his likenesses to Erik, but I love this now that you have introduced our phantom, and look forward to reading how you will weave him into the story. I'm also enjoying Christine's boldness with Raoul, wondering if it's due to the lion statue, but I'm sure at some point that will be revealed. I have to admit to feeling a bit sorry for Raoul, for whoever heard of such a thing, because he's patiently waiting for a woman who may never feel free to love him. I'm enjoying Mrs. Boston as well. She's sure an overbearing old thing, but it serves Raoul well.
And never in my life have I read a description of a cat as monochrome! Love it!
Looking forward to more...
P.S. Your beta is doing an EXCELLENT job! :)
| Kelsismom chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
Hm...now you've got me wondering what the connection/if there is one to Erik, and if Erik really existed the way for Christine that we are used to...
| dark-hearted rose chapter 4 . 5/28/2008
Yay! It's so good! *beams* I'm looking forward to the next chapter, most definitely.
| bwayphantomrose chapter 4 . 5/27/2008
Well, I can assure you that I do like this story and it looks VERY promising. Is this AU, or does it take place after a certain version? You have very good vocabulary and a nice flow of words. I don't have anything to criticize, which is a good thing. I think Christine refers to Erik on a few occasions? Either way, you cannot leave me in suspense like this!
| Kelsismom chapter 4 . 5/27/2008
Your writing is beautiful as always. I'm very interested to find out how exactly that lion piece plays into the story.
A couple of grammatical errors, nothing major-
vicomte does not have a p in it.
When you use the word 'bare' in that sentence, as in to endure, it should be spelled bear. The word bare refers to the absence of covering or clothing;nude;naked.
These things are not meant to be critical, of course, but in correcting them you are doing yourself and the story the justice it deserves.
Looking forward to learning more about Liam.
| Tie-dyed Trickster chapter 2 . 5/26/2008
O_O! (sits back from computer, gasping for breath, as though she has just undergone a strenuous, yet enjoyable activity of some sort) Wow. Just wow. I mean, I knew you were a good writer from the nuances in Erik Almighty, but seriously, /wow/!
It's brilliant. Bloody brilliant. It's fine literature, almost like reading free-verse poetry! It's... it's... (grasps for the right words but they elude her) I don't know what it is, but I firmly suggest that, if you aren't currently writting any original fiction, start right now. You'll be famous. Honestly, one of the only other things I've ever read that struck me quite like this does is The Book of Flying by Keith Miller which, in my humble opinion, would be worth your while to seek out. You may have a hard time finding it in a shop, but it's relatively new and you should be able to get it online somewhere. I think you'd enjoy the style - it has the similar tones and structures to your own writing style in this fic.
(pauses for a moment, lost in sheer awe at the quality of the fic. comes to with a start as she remembers something) Um, I know you requested constructive critisism, but, in all honesty, as of yet I can't find anything to critisize.
| Tie-dyed Trickster chapter 1 . 5/26/2008
0_0 I find myself enamoured of your useage of the English language in this little foreward, tantalized by ideas and thoughts that I myself have turned over and over within my own head time and again... and vaguely terrified of what I'm about to enter into by reading this fanfic. Shallow though it may seem, I've always liked happy endings best, and this foreward seems almost to sneer in the face of such trite conclusions. Indeed, the genre chosen for this fic is adventure/tragedy. Tragedies don't tend to have happy endings.
Still, I've read and seen stories of a tragic nature and enjoyed them before - not often, but it has happened. Not that you've come out and said that this story will not end happily, though it seems heavily foreshadowed.
However, I am enjoying your other work, Erik Almighy, quite keenly. Also I have never had anyone personally plug their story to /me/ before, and I must admit, I actually find it rather flattering that you would like me to read more of your work.
Thus, poised for flight at any moment, should the contaminated* darkness grow too much (when one has a genetic predisposition towards depression, it's best to try to stay on lighter topics), I delve forwards, into Les Shattered.
*I realised several years ago that there are not two halves to the soul or human condition at all, there are three - the light, the pure dark, and the contaminated dark. The light is what it normally is portrayed as, good, and the contaminated dark is what dark is usually portrayed as, evil. It is the pure dark that is the new factor.
The pure dark is not evil. It's a place of healing, somewhere to go or be when you aren't evil, but the light is just too harsh and bright for one to face. It's a place of nurturing and comfort, somewhere you can go and come to terms with things until you're ready to face the light. I can't describe it much better than that. But the pure dark is good. Because just because something is dark doesn't mean it's evil. ~Trickster
| dark-hearted rose chapter 3 . 5/22/2008
A breath-taking beginning! Your writing style is magnificent. Honestly. I love and adore this so far.
There were a few typos I could spot here and there... if you'd like, I could edit this first chapter for you if you want to repost it. It's not disruptive or anything, I'm just very picky. If not, I'd love it if you could send me chapter two!
I'm so happy I get to help you with this. D
| Kelsismom chapter 3 . 5/20/2008
What an unfortunate way to meet...hopefully Christine will care for him...
| Kelsismom chapter 2 . 5/20/2008
Wow! Can't wait to read more!
| Kelsismom chapter 1 . 5/20/2008
Well, if that wasn't a tease! ;) Onto the good stuff!