|Reviews for Hero High: Sphinx Academy|
| soundless steps chapter 17 . 1/25/2009
Looks like you had too many ideas for this story to make it in under 18 chapters. I am thinking that you are about a quarter to halfway through the next chapter.
Now for the things that I have noticed, which isn't many of them. The MIB one was obvious. In that one moment where Lord said Amen at the end of a sentence, it reminded me of the fourth part of Hellsing. Heck, this whole chapter reminded me of Hellsing. If there are more that I miss, which I am sure there are, don't bother yourself with it.
It is pretty good that you had Bobby being used for that. It would explain why it had to be him.
One last thing. You have to eventually explain to everyone what and who Lord is. He is without a doubt the second most confusing character. Pharaoh is the first, but you explain him. Third place probably goes to Fredi.
Well, I thank you for the update and for being the one story that can regularly make me write such long reviews. May your stories end be as great as the events leading up to them. (They'll probably be greater.)
| yoman chapter 16 . 1/7/2009
dis story is so cul dat cul is n understatement
BEN 10 rocx
| Magnamamous chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
Pharaoh would make an excellent batman bad guy, like for batman beyond!
well, have a nice day robert
| Data Seeker chapter 16 . 11/21/2008
Another very creative chapter, even though certain aspects of the story have turned my stomach.
The quality is great as usual; great depth, complexity and suspense particularly.
The beginning is sweet, the flashback with young Pharoah/Alex comforting his scared sister, and she loves him deeply and he is confused, because not having emotions, its hard for him to understand how to be a brother.
The brief scene with Pharoah and Lord was amusing as usual.
The scene with Ben and the Task Force was good.
The conversation with Julia and Micheal was interesting, dymanitc and full of emotions. Micheal’s opinion about women was dymatic and virtually if not totally identical to Chatholic’s Theology of the Body. A woman’s body is a temple and must be treated with respect, by herself and any man. I didn’t like a biblical reference in that segment, but I’ll explain later.
The segment with Pharoah talking with the Warlords of the world was very intense, profound and funny. Pharoah made interesting points about ruling by fear, and the Warlords are destroyed by their own devices.
The segment with Virus hooking Gwen to Alex’s device for his masterplan and has an alterior motive; very suspenseful.
The following segments with Ben and the Task Force is good.
The scene with Karen and Spec was very suspenseful, emotion and dymatic; loving Karen, loyal Spec accused by the selfish, hypocritical head of the House of Temus of treason, and they turn the tables on her; things heat up and then…something happens. NICE LITTLE CLIFFHANGER.
The next scene that features Ben and the Task Force is good. Things seem to coming to a close. The hour is about to strike. The final page is about to be writ.
The scene then goes are creatively chaotic; different stuff have happen on short notice and now its not certain what has happened exactly. NICE CLIFFHANGER.
The chapter didn’t poke me as much as many of the others did, though something happened that I didn’t approve of. That all reference to Adam leaving with Eve cause he loves her. Now that a distortion. Granted, some things in the Bible are debatable, but that isn’t that hard to figure out.
You did make at least one interesting point in the chapter. Also, your opinion about “There Are No Athesits in a Foxhole" is interesting. Being religious, I have my own opinion of that pharse. I wondered how Athesits felt of that Pharse. I assumed they took offense to it.
| acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 16 . 11/20/2008
Very good one! Glad you updated, and cool to see Ben showing everyone what a worthy teammate he really is.
Keep the good writing.
| CrossyCross chapter 16 . 11/19/2008
Cross: damn right you are.
Gabriel: Yeah. An update. Finally.
Cross: Perfect work and yeah. Alien Force IS ripping off from your fic. DAMN THEM!
gabriel: Chill dude.
CROSS: THEY WILL DIE!
| Richard Fern the Dragonmaster chapter 16 . 11/18/2008
You're a good writer, but I suggest you be carefull about making reference based on the reality.
Action sequence is shaping up nicely, keep up the good work.
and, remember to spell 'device' as d-e-v-i-c-e, not d-e-v-i-s-e. Other than that, I say it is a superb work.
| Terranova210486 chapter 16 . 11/18/2008
Great work, as always!
| anon chapter 16 . 11/18/2008
First when the common does not know what is best for himself, his wife, their children, then the benevelent intellectual must take control and force the common man to build that better world for himself or at least his children and/or their children's children of course make eduacation great so the common does know what is best for him, his wife and children and children's children. The woman has to make her mate happy as well, they have to serve each other in their own way. I like what you said about looks they are so temporary, but they do indicate health. As morally outraged as I am to narcotics and prostitution we should regulate and tax the multi-billion dollar industries we can't do anything about anyway. Now that being said WOOHO! YOU are back, still hope Gwen and Alex get their happily ever after
| soundless steps chapter 16 . 11/18/2008
Pharaoh is at the doors of the house of tempest. Does his plan have something to do with spreading his influance to other planets. That would be more difficult, and the confusion created by the first plan did make getting there easier.
This chapter is full of suspense. I was expecting it to end here with an epilouge in the next chapter like in part one and two. I guess not. I have many questions and I can't wait for the answers.
PS: The bit about Ben 10 Alien Force posibly ripping you off is funny, though we can't be certain that Julie is of Japanese origin. Though if she is an alien without, whether she knows it or not, with the tiny horns, you could act. I doubt that you will be very successful though.
Keep up the great work.
| chaostheory1989 chapter 16 . 11/18/2008
Man, I have been waiting for this for ages, and yet aain you failed to disappoint me dude, this kicks serious ass. I can guess we are nearing the climax and honestly, I'm a bit sad about that.
| Danny chapter 16 . 11/18/2008
Why do I get the feeling Mike and Shikamaru would get along like peas and carrots?
| chaostheory1989 chapter 15 . 10/8/2008
Awesome as always, did you by anychance get a bit of inspiration from Elfen Lied (A puppy is bludgeoned to death with a vase by some bullies of a girl who has horns)
It's getting way intense man.
Keep up the good work
| Coppa-Cola chapter 12 . 10/8/2008
Great plot twist with Pharaoh's plan. Is Lord Nicole's and Dawn's brother?
| Data Seeker chapter 15 . 10/7/2008
I have mixed feelings on this chapter.
The quality is great (as usual); great narration, emotion, suspense and drama.
The scenes featuring Ben and Ren (who is unconscious) are very dynamic and emotional. Things look very bleak.
And that conversation between Paradox and Ben was amusing. A change to alter the timeline, but would undo a lot of things. Personally I don’t think changing time is a good idea (too many ramifications). And it may not help Ren either, or possibly the world.
The scenes with Gwen, Pharaoh/Alex and his gang was complex and creative with great interactions, and as usual, Lord is comically melodramatic and it was funny that he was miffed that someone is more powerful then him. And the talk about charms of Bezel and their purpose was dramatic.
The background was full of depth and emotion; one aspect of it bothered me, but I’ll explain later.
The scene with Specs and Karen was dramatic and intense. Things are heating up, and there are many evils afoot and things seem hopeless.
This is what I don’t like.
Moral dilemmas are dramatic and suspenseful in stories. But in this story, the way you wrote them, they are confusing (as well as dramatic and suspenseful). It seems that the point of this story is that Alex/Pharaoh is the hero, and everyone else is a villain or misguided. If that’s your intention, you succeeded.
Also, the jabs at religion combined with “God doesn’t exist” makes it sound like the story is saying “You are a fool and a maniac, Data Seeker”
I’m certain that insulting me wasn’t your intention, but it happened.
Well that’s all I have to say. I’ll check out your next update when I find the time.