|Reviews for Space Battleship Yamato 5|
| Freddo chapter 8 . 7/18/2010
Okay...this is a tough chapter. Well-written, but Invidia is sure ticking lots of people off in this chapter.I'm wondering why Invidia couldn't tell anyone she had left, even Arty or her children, and I am guessing that is because they would have tried to stop her. Still, it doesn't dilute the fact that she did a pretty horrible thing by running off and doing what she did.
There will be a lot of hurt feelings because of this, and I hope her relationship with Arty survives this test. Plus, by deserting to the enemy side during wartime (even if she is stopping the war) she is going to cause Derek, Nova, and the other EDF Officers to regard her as an enemy again. At least that is my thought on this.
Plus, as I mentioned on the Forum, it was understandable why she clapped Desslok back in irons, but she's going to have one very angry Gamilon Ruler to contend with once he escapes from there and gets off the Comet...
| Freddo chapter 7 . 7/20/2009
Review time (at last!)
Invidia continues to interrupt, gets teased by Derek, and is getting tired of being teased, in return. The war continues to heat up...at least for a time, until that General contacts them near the end.
I wonder what Victoria's secret actually is? (I mean her reason for hating Earth so much...)
The old-style warp scene was also quite funny...
And, Invidia's departure...shocking, but not altogether unexpected. I wonder what she'll find out aboard the Comet?
All in all, a great chapter.
| Freddo chapter 6 . 12/4/2008
In this chapter, you really, really feel sorry for Invidia.
I am aware that Arty is busy with his work as a Tiger, but you'd think he could try to find a little more time to be with Invidia so she does not feel quite as unloved.
Also, her melancholy about the past, her father, and her life aboard the Comet is making her miserable-when she becomes miserable, she seems to make sure everyone around her is miserable. I can understand her pain, but it is a vicious cycle.
Victoria is becoming more evil by the moment as she is punished aboard the Comet.
One question-they are in deep space-if Invidia got sent off the ship...where would she go? Sad, how she had to turn to Derek for comfort. I really wish I could break the fourth wall and yell at Arty myself.
Oh..the fourth wall bit...with Astra...that was cute.
At least Arty redeemed himself somewhat towards the end of the chapter. What will be happening aboard the Comet? Will Victoria be supplanted?
Can't wait for the next installment...
| Freddo chapter 5 . 10/14/2008
I still maintain Invidia is acting rather wackily in this chapter (it suits her)
Reasons: she wrecks her room at the beginning of the chapter. Then she goes to Arty's room and wrecks that. Then, she wrecks Trelaina's room. THEN, she goes and messes with Derek and Nova's room later in the chapter. She's got some major anger issues this week. Good thing Arty seems to be able to calm her down.
If Invidia's bad, though, Victoria...well, she's even worse. I noticed you have my Pellian race making a guest appearance in the story in the form of Kiara in the Comet Kitchen. Neat little reference...
It is a good thing we have Nova, Sandor and Setsuna on the Argo this cruise, or we'd really be up the proverbial smelly brown creek without a paddle. They seem to be the people charged with keeping everyone sane this cruise.
And Invidia is hitting the wine out of frustration? (no one loves me, everybody hates me, etc...) She's smart and cute and all, but she needs to grow up...lots...
Like how you are writing Nova in this chapter-she gets time alone with Derek, and later, she manages to convincingly tell Invidia to cool it. Nice. What rank is she in the ship's hierachy in this cruise, BTW? Is Sandor the Deputy Captain/First Officer, or is Nova? Either character is quite believable in this role.
BTW...in some of my later fics, (after New Comet) due to EDF assignment issues, Nova will serve at least one tour herself as the Captain of the Space Battleship North Carolina...and she does make that rank. (Derek puts her up for Command like in Tim's comic book). Also liked how Nova dealt with Ens. Rivera when he played around with Invidia.
I also like the flashback and how Arty keeps Invidia sane. And Astra is SO immature "why is that my problem?" when they are under attack?
And Razela and the Magna-Flame gun...nasty. Can't wait to see what you do next. Nice!
| Freddo chapter 4 . 9/4/2008
Invidia's really turning bitter again in this chapter. I know part of it is competition with Trelaina and Misako, and part of it is due to the fact that she feels she is not being respected, but it is showing that she is not that cooperative.
I liked Arty's role in this installment-growing to like his character more. Poor Akira, though, trying to get along with her obessessive & bitchy mother...I like the tension between her and Arty...and the cuteness *(aw)*
And, Derek & Nova...you finally show Nova with a hint of "I'll give you a little gift...later..." (shows you she is still very affectionate towards her Derek, how cute...)
Victoria is just...evil, evil, evil.
Shame that Invidia feels so put upon by Derek...but it is her fault...
And Misako and her reaction to her parents..."getting busy" (chuckle)
I liked Desslok's punishment for Victoria...
I wonder where Invidia's latest snit is going to take her?
Nice job on this chapter-very well done...
| Freddo chapter 3 . 7/21/2008
There are some surprises here.
Desslok turning evil again? Now, I am not in agreement with this premise...unless he has a really good reason for turning on his Earthling allies. In the original outline for Yamato I, the full 52-episode version that never got produced, Desslok turned evil again for a while, but only because Garuman was destroyed in the longer version by the Bolars and both he and Earth were in a desparate race to find new homeworlds for their races. It was a reluctant conflict, but he and Wildstar were in conflict again for that reason. They seemed to reconcile at the end of the outline.
That idea, along with a long storyline about the Space Battleship Arizona and her search for New Earth and her tragic loss in battle to save the Argo, a storyline where Nova ended up in a concentration camp and had to be rescued from it, and a storyline where a colonist named Tomoko (who was pregnant by her dead husband) went with the Argo/Yamato and gave birth aboard ship near the end of the stoyline (do these sound familiar to you?) all ended up being cut for time when Yamato I was cut in production from 52 down to 25 episodes.
Anyway, suggestion; Desslok has to have a really GOOD REASON to turn evil.
Victoria: I HATE HER! SHE IS A VERY NASTY VILLAIN! BOO! HISS! DIE!
Setsuna: Doing a good job so far.
The Second Comet...(sounds awfully familiar, somehow, like some other guy's...nahh..:-) The Comet Empire would, doubtless, build lots of things, and [she is thinking like me! hahahahahahahaha!] ) OK. Which Comet would win. Could my Comet beat your Comet? (I'm getting very silly..)
Misako: She's getting freakier.
Launch scene: Very well done. Neat.
Invidia: Interesting. Nice one minute, crazy the next minute. But, her intelligence on Cometine designs and vessels was very useful to the heroes. And she really loves Arty and the kids...
Arty: We should see more of him.
Other Main Canon characters: Nice jobs on Derek, Nova, Mark, Trelaina & Hardy. My biggest complaint is I'd like to see more of them. And are some scenes coming up where Mark & Trelaina slip off to be alone? (smooch) Or where Derek & Nova slip off to be alone? (double smooch, aw, kawaii...) And a scene where Nova drags Invidia off and asks her what her big problem is, anyway? :-)
But nice job. I'm posting it on Visions this week if OK with you.
| Freddo chapter 2 . 6/22/2008
OK, here we go with my review...
Astra...what a slacker. Her and her donut fetish...really funny...
Interesting explanation for Invidia's redemption and arrival on Earth in 2201. Very different-very interesting...I also like how she and Arty met in combat...Akira is an interesting character-and Setsuna, sitting in her dad's chair? Very ambitious girl..
I liked the recommendation for Ryou...and I loved the little bits with Misako's powers...very amusing. I also liked how Trelaina stuck Mark on the ceiling one night when she was mad at him!
And what do Misako's vibrations mean...and what is going on? Neat pickle you have set up. Update when you can.
| PEJP Bengtzone chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
Well, I guess you should keep going on with this story, as well as the three others that you haven't been updated, since before you finished the Sailor Mew Mew story. But don't get mad at me, just make sure to update your stories soon.
| Freddo chapter 1 . 5/26/2008
Well...first, many thanks for getting this piece done and up! Nice job!
Second, on the story. With your kind consent, it is also going on my Visions site.
The story, like any next-gen SB/Yamato story (I'm counting mine, too, in progress, and some others I read) has to cover new ground. I'm not sure if the creators of Yamato did us a service or a disservice ending the storyline around 2203 or 2204 with Wildstar and Nova just having gotten married. (See: FINAL YAMATO). I would have loved to have seen more, but, boy, they left it wide-open turf for the fan writers.
The closest to knowing what would have happened was the storyline (so far un-made as an anime) for YAMATO: REBIRTH, which Tim Eldred adapted on the official SB website as the STAR BLAZERS: REBIRTH webcomic. It sets down some basic, sensible ground rules for future fics and writers to follow: Wildstar & Nova enjoy their marriage, have some kids, the canon crew members move up the ranks, have kids, new Earth ships get built, there is some enjoyment of peace (with a threat or two hanging around someplace...).
With that said, let us look at Ami's story. She introduces some great new characters: (Astra, the spirited original daughter or Starsha & Alex, stands out) and we see that Starsha & Alex are good, concerned parents.
Invidia finding redemption is something that...works. It is different, it is well-done, and it promises to lead to interesting storylines. Will she learn to behave decently?
Derek & Nova are written well, and their daughter Setsuna is a believable, fascinating character.
Getting Mark Venture & Trelaina together was a neat touch, very cute, and I like their daughter Misako. I can't wait to see more, and I am working on posting your Visions intros as I write this.
Take care, and keep on writing!