|Reviews for The Captain and the Navigator|
| NONAME chapter 1 . 4/9
By far one of the best LuNa fan-fic stories practically anywhere, ending is a bit edgy, but the idea and flow of the story is great everywhere else. 9.5/10
| Y y N chapter 4 . 9/28/2014
I loved it, direct to my favourites, thanks for writing it ;)
| Walp chapter 4 . 12/29/2012
Yooosh! Thanks for this rather cool story! Aside the statement of Ussop: Nami was the first to see Luffy, yes, but in the anime, actually the first mate is Zorro ! that's all! Thanks again! ;D (Wow i just read the publication's date of the story, it's really been a while it was published!)
| moo102 chapter 3 . 4/14/2010
Okay, I know this isn't really a recent story, but this was bugging me. The part where Chopper said that they needed to give Nami antibiotics for an allergic reaction just didn't make sense to me, because antibiotics are used on bacteria and bacterial infections. That kind of thing. So I looked it up. Epinephrine (or adrenaline) is the most common treatment for a severe allergic reaction. This is given through a shot, though, so it wouldn't require much editing to change that part.
Also, while we're on the subject of allergies: none of the sites I went to mentioned a fever as a symptom of an allergic reaction. Of course, if you've had an allergic reaction, you would know better than me. I'm pretty sure neither of us knows what Anaphylactic shock looks like, though, but I have a feeling it looks more like a coma than night terrors.
I have a feeling that you decided to make Nami allergic to bullets, but didn't decide what the exact allergy was. What kind of bullets were these marines using? Were they covered with an alloy? If so, what were the metals? Which metal was she allergic to? Even if it doesn't come up in the story, it might add some realism to it.
While this story had an interesting concept, there were a few holes. If the Marines had pretty much all the Strawhat crew in their hands, why did they only take Luffy and Nami? Marines don't leave pirates behind, usually- especially not in a situation like in chapter 1 where all of them were at the Marines' mercy. If they were rival pirates or something, then it would make sense for them to take just Nami and Luffy and leave the others. I think hearing about his motives, at least, would have been good.
Secondly, how did Zoro and the others catch up so quickly to the Marines in a row boat? If the Marine ship was out of sight when they started following it, then how the heck did they find it? How did they navigate the Grand Line without their navigator? According to the anime, you can turn around and not know it. So how would they find a marine ship that was out of sight?
I think I'm starting to get incoherent here, so I'll just wrap things up. In conclusion: research everything, always work out the details (even if they won't come up directly in the fic), and expand. That probably made no sense to you; it barely made sense to me. Maybe next time I shouldn't write a review at 11 at night. Anyways, I hope my review helped you in some way. Happy writing! .
| LadyNemoJ chapter 4 . 3/18/2010
I really enjoyed this story, good job!
| NIGHTMAREwarrior1209 chapter 4 . 1/22/2010
with out a doubt this is one of the best one piece stories i have read
| Irma.Arisa.Laye chapter 4 . 12/27/2009
That was awesome! *thumbsup*
| Butterfree chapter 4 . 11/25/2009
"she felt it was almost better than loving her"
You know, I've always felt that way concerning the relationship between Luffy and Nami if they ever were to become a couple. Even if they weren't lovers, Oda has clearly shown us how much they are as Nakama. To me, the trust he has with Nami as well as Zoro(though in a different way) as Nakama have always been stronger than everyone else's. Luffy and Nami would be the type to still keep that trust/friendship even after becoming lovers, which is one of the things that would make their relationship even better than just love, in my opinion.
I love how you've chosen the unusual path of telling this whole story from partially Luffy's point of view. What I've always noticed about fanfictions for any fandom is that one person from that couple is taken by fanfiction authors as being 'easier' to write about. In this case, everyone favours writting only with Nami's thoughts in mind because of how much of a paradox Luffy is.
Authors that do chance at writting at Luffy's view, they tend to express him as being completely out-of-character, and with no consideration for what he might actually do. It really is great how you managed to write on him so effectively. Even in the very few moments where he was slightly out-of-character, it was in a way in which was pretty understandable (aside from maybe the killing thing I mentioned earlier; though you kept whether Luffy killed him or not in the dark...personally I think he didn't and didn't tell Nami out of slight regret).
In contrast, the story was sort of lacking a bit on Nami's sudden development of love for Luffy in the last scene. However strange it is though, at the same time, her love for him didn't feel like it came out of nowhere in this chapter. Personally, I think one or two additional thought bubbles from Nami during the second half would've been enough and kept me from noticing the rushed-ness(if that's a word) on her part at all.
Hmm, I am a bit confused about when Usopp said that Nami was the first of 'us' that Luffy met. I guess 'us' would be referring to all of them except Zoro(since he wasn't really sitting with them)? Unless you're saying this in terms of how Luffy and Nami met in the anime.
Overall, it was a very nice and believable story. In fact, if I saw something similiar to this happening in the manga in terms of their love(not length of adventure, as we all know how amazing Oda would write for such a purpose), I'd very well believe it.
Yes, long review; I apologize if it bothers you.
| Butterfree chapter 3 . 11/25/2009
I think the “I want to kill you" quote from Luffy was really the only thing that was out-of-character for me. I mean, Arlong had done much worse to her, yet Luffy didn't completely kill him and even decided to help him in later chapters because Nami said he could. He just isn't the type to actually kill his enemies no matter what that've done, at least so far.
Really though, having only one moment in which the story felt foreign to the style of One Piece is VERY impressive.
| Butterfree chapter 2 . 11/25/2009
“But all I had to do was distract him some beef jerky.”
That's low. Really low.
You really have the characters in the SH crew down well in your story. Pretty much all of the banter they exchanged gave off that same vibe that their crew always does. Trust me, a lot of authors fail to do this due to being distracted by whichever couple they're writting about. I'm really glad that you weren't.
| Butterfree chapter 1 . 11/25/2009
Hmm, it's amazing how much you thought this whole "Luffy and Nami kidnapped" scenario through. You did a good job making sure that there weren't any plot holes in the whole situation, despite how difficult doing that sort of thing is.
Great start so far! Strangely, it didn't feel rushed at all.
| anime girl4 chapter 4 . 9/20/2009
aww! Too cute. It was really well written and everyone was IC too. I think I've fallen in love with your One Piece fics :)l
| bowlfullofcherries chapter 4 . 8/26/2009
lovely. thanks for the read.
| DRAGONFIRE563 chapter 4 . 7/29/2009
WOW this was an extraordinary story!
| Avelona chapter 4 . 7/24/2009
...I cried when I read this. I CRIED! Thank you for blessing us with this story!
*mumbles* ...Odd, I don't cry at funirals but THIS...