|Reviews for Order and Chaos|
| Emmanovi chapter 8 . 6/30/2008
Ah, Wedge, I loved this story! I nearly cried when Omoi died... wasn't expecting that at all.
Are you gonna do a sequel? Please say you are, 'cos I really love these characters! I'm sensing some interesting things could happen - you mentioned that Gods can be created from the love between two other Gods...
One little point, not really relevant, but in B&W (the game), at least for me, scaffolds don't appear at the other side of vortices/portals. It's probably to stop you being able to build a huge village straight away, and thus has no meaning outside the played game. Just thought I'd mention it.
If I had to place a bit of constructive criticism at your feet here, I would say that the last two chapters were a bit fast-paced in contrast to the others. IIRC, in one chapter they take two villages, one of which is the largest on the island, and destroy their foes, whilst losing two of their number. Apart from that, I adore your writing. You've really got a talent for B&W - please please please keep writing about it!
| Ratchetwriter chapter 5 . 6/9/2008
Hey, really looking forward to next chapter! When you say 'metaphorical fireworks', why don't you just change it so that they feel, like, a pulse of strong belief or something and then their symbol appears burning strongly over the village. Sounds a lot better in my opinion. Hey Jon :)
| Ratchetwriter chapter 3 . 6/9/2008
Whoops, sorry i hadn't read chapter 3 when i made my char:
Age- Early 30's, Mature but not old.
Appearance- Wears a leather tunic and a ragged loincloth, sharp green eyes and long white (albino not old) hair. She also wears a feather headress, and has dark skin.
Weapon- Twin claws, a bit like Wolverine from X-Men, sorry i dont know their real name.
Alignment- 60% evil (could change)
Creature- Gosan the slightly evil Cobra (hope its ok, i know that cobras don't exist in the real game but i wanted her to have a jungle/forest theme)
Main Civilisation- Aztec
Hope you can use my godess, she would probably reside in a dense forest or jungle, as her aztec people would probably also reside there and her cobra would be most deadly. :)
| ratchetwriter chapter 2 . 6/8/2008
goddess idea mareena she uses steel claws as a weapon and she has long blonde hair, piercing green eyes, and wears a fiery japanese style robe. her creature is a young tiger cub by the name of gosan. hope its not to late to enter her into the story. keep writing old friend!
| Emmanovi chapter 5 . 6/7/2008
Ah, loving this series Wedge. Can't wait for the next one!
I really like the characters and the way you've portrayed them. You've put in so much little detail that really brings them to life!
| Emmanovi chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
Heh, loving the descriptions of the characters.