|Reviews for Chronicles of the Heroine|
| Lixie Lorn chapter 2 . 6/25/2008
~General Everin Stormclaw of the Emerald Stars, Dragon Prince and the Fifth Sutakage, out.
| hank chapter 1 . 5/26/2008
You're gonna put up the next part with the forest temple correct?
| Master Frodo Baggins chapter 1 . 5/26/2008
The into paragraphs are awesome, especially #3. It really sets the "mood" for the story. Of course, the mood changes when it actually gets to the story itself, but I assume that it progresses into it. I like the characterization of Rita, but I'd like to see that happen with the other characters more (I don't really know much about Cindy or Terrence after reading this...the feel a little "stale." Something to keep in mind for later chapters). It progresses a little fast, because becoming a pokemon AND the heroine in one chapter is a lot to handle, and Terrence and Cindy seem to jump right in (and Rita a little bit). If that is just their kind of character, then that's perfectly fine, but there's no way to tell that from this chapter, so it kind of comes off as a little unreal. A little more hesitation would fix that, or maybe to elaborate on how they feel about everything in the next couple chapters. I'm sure that you can find a way to entwine that into the story and make it work. :)
So in summary, I'd get a little bit more characterization and exposition of events/elaborate a bit in the next couple chapters. Overall, it's very intriguing and I'll be looking out for the next chapters soon. ;)