|Reviews for Collide|
| afjklgsdfhjkdslhgjk chapter 3 . 12/28/2010
Your story is really creative! :)
I have one suggestion though...
I know that this fanfic is already completed, but maybe this will help with other ones:
Every time you "switch scenes" so to speak, in your writing, it kind of throws me off. If you could separate a change in time/setting with a line or extra space, it would be much easier to read.
Thank you, and I'm loving your story so far!
| schokocrossie chapter 6 . 11/10/2010
Hey, read your story so far and thought it is time to review:
First of all I really like your plot! By pulling the general theme of racism and the implicitness of using the world's or other nation's rescources into the fantasy genre, you make them obvious and better to digest. Aqbstraction often has learning effects... and is more exciting...
While I love your storiyline, I think you could improve yourself on a writing style by putting in more narrative passages to frame you dialogs. Sometimes you have to read it more than once to realize what is happening, it might also be a good idea to indicate the change of scenery, You could do it again with narrative passages (At the same time Alice...)or simply by make a new stancer,
Like this, leave a line out ;)
Hope I could help you, keep writing
| Knights2016 chapter 12 . 11/8/2010
aww Edward and Bella are finally going to be happy. I am so glad that Edward kicked butt,but I would have to say that my favourite part was when Carlisle was kicking ass and killed James. Oh I so wish I could too. Lol. Great story!
| Knights2016 chapter 9 . 11/7/2010
I personally want to kill James. I want to rip him apart. Gosh usaually I am not a violent person,but he just makes me so mad. You are very good at putting alot of emotion into your stories. I almosted cried everytime James hurt Bella. Hopefully now Edward will take care of her.
| Knights2016 chapter 4 . 11/7/2010
wow this story is good. Very interesting I like the story line alot. Jasper better not leave Alice. Lol. Can't wait to keep reading.
| Midnight Twins chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
this story's intense
| Peace.Lovee.Edward chapter 12 . 5/10/2010
OMG! This story is completely traumatizing! (in a good way!)
it is so perfectly writen, and the plot is rich and out of the ordinary! it's just geniusly made! i loved it completely!
| fresh-BLOOD-was-drawn-2night chapter 12 . 4/29/2010
that was so deep
i loved it
| L-Anne Cullen chapter 8 . 2/23/2010
Yeah Bella is STUPID!
| L-Anne Cullen chapter 6 . 2/23/2010
HELLO! Charlie is the head guard or whatever. All Bella has to do is tell him and he can get Renee and arrest or kill James. It's called having a brain and thinking! OK. I'm done ranting! *smiles sheepishly* ;o}
| IBelongToAVampire chapter 12 . 2/9/2010
I loved this story ! :)
| Smilioso Ll.Ll chapter 12 . 2/6/2010
THAT WAS THE BEST STORY I HAVE MADE ME CRY AT SOME POINTS BUT MADE ME THINK THINGS IN A NEW PERPECTIVE AS WELL
THANKS FOR WRITING THIS D
| blake18 chapter 12 . 1/31/2010
i really did like this story a lot.
| currybun chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
| theirhappystory chapter 11 . 1/25/2010