|Reviews for Rain|
| VictorianSuperman chapter 1 . 9/13/2008
Wow- talk about pulling on heartstrings. If that's what you were aiming for, I think you've suceeded. My husband and I have been watching Gungrave for the first time and we're about three episodes from the end. As with everything I watch, I had to check it out on . ;-)
I did want you to know that I really, really liked how you managed to capture Brandon's cadence in his speech. (Sorry- I have a hard time calling him 'Grave'.) You did so with short sentences and your impeccable word choice. Sitting here reading your story, I could hear him narrating in my head.
Many authors set out to write from the first-person perspective but so few put the effort into actually becoming the character that it really is an accomplishment that you've done it so well.
Now for a teensy bit of constructive criticism: I have one suggestion- I would have liked to have seen a bit more set-up for the scene in your A/N. (i.e. Where is he? Is he standing on a roof or in a graveyard? Is it daytime or night? You get the idea.) Treat it kind of like a script as you're setting the tone for your reader, so that they can 'act' out your story in their head and better understand what it is that you're conveying.
Then again, I could just be weird. People have told me that before.
I am interested to see where you would go with this, if you choose to do so. Is this a standalone or will you expand and add other characters? Maybe something from Maria's POV? Mika? Harry? Bear?
BTW- Thanks for having such wonderful spelling and grammar. It makes such a huge difference when reading.
All said, BRAVO on a job well done.