|Reviews for No Chance for Fate|
| Okami Princess chapter 19 . 11/9/2013
Yeah, it would probably be a good idea to raise the rating just in case. Huh, I would have thought Mars would have gotten the bow what with being a miko. Then again Mars, the roman god of war, would probably prefer a sword over a bow. I laughed when Jupiter got a mace, thinking her charge sounded much like one would think Thor, a different deity of lighting, would do into battle.
| sunshinekc chapter 19 . 11/9/2013
I say if the story feels like it should be m, then raise the rating. Don't hold back just to make it more broad appeal, make it as how the story speaks it should be. Im also loving the weapons that you've given the scouts.
| Ashen Author chapter 19 . 11/9/2013
I'm so glad you updated this. You're definitely going off the beaten path, and while I'm not liking all the changes, it shows that you're committed to your world instead of the original. I like that, and I look forward to seeing where you go with this. Great chapter.
1) The whole balm on the crotch thing was interesting, but both a little contrived and a bit too mechanical. Knowing the details was...you don't have to be that specific. Leave more to the readers' imagination next time, I'd suggest. And the fact that it happened just then...still within suspension of disbelief, but only barely.
2) The different names were interesting, as were the fact that the Shadow Warriors are actually dangerous. As someone doing something similar in my story, I like that the fights are more difficult, and they don't always win. That being said, they shouldn't always lose either. Shouldn't Ami at least be smart enough to come up with various general battle strategies before-hand so they at least have some plans going in? And she should definitely do that for the two that escaped since they now know what to plan for.
3) The weapons are an interesting choice. I wouldn't have given Ami a bow since its canonically more Rei's thing, but the change is interesting. Is she going to get another spell too, or...? Makoto's mace, well, it makes sense too but it strikes me as a little tacky. It's a blunt-trauma brute-force weapon involving little or no skill, and leaving all sorts of openings. It only shows off her strength, and none of her skill. You even flat-out say that she was "swinging a heavy mace and screaming like a berserker". I think I would have gone for a kusuri-gama (scythe and weighted chain). The weight would have similar blunt force at greater range and she could build up more momentum with the weight by swinging it in circles. The scythe would also be a good close-combat weapon, and she could tangle people in the chain.
4) The youma escaping both times...there is pretty much two ways you could go with this. One, the youma escape every battle even when the senshi get the crystal, slowly demoralizing them more and more while the youma get stronger by training, and then the seven get purified in one go when the Silver Crystal is formed or something. Two, you use it show the senshi's escalating combat capability, fore-sight, and character growth by having some of the youma escape and some not. Then the ones who did escape come back stronger, but the senshi have gotten stronger and purify them (hopefully one at a time, since en masse would be stretching it). I'm hoping for the second.
5) Ami and Ranma's increasing adult themes. I'm in favor of this, if done tastefully. To be honest, the worst thing about this story in my opinion is how clinical it is about those actions. We don't need to know that. The 'exploring' scene in 17 was honestly a little disgusting, as was the dream. Please, and I can't believe I'm saying this, use LESS detail. And if they do advance into more adult things, do it slowly and tastefully. But to be honest, they both strike me as people who could be perfectly happy without feeling the need to go that far, even if they want to. Second base is what I'd find the most believable comfort level, maybe a bit of third. They're 16 and still in high school. I'm older and in college and I'm not entirely comfortable with going all the way that fast (they've known each other how many months? It's still the same school year) and don't feel the need to rush. If they're really in it for the long haul then they have all the time in the world.
6) Next episode tag. I like this. No, I LOVE it. It's really making me think. After all, Ryo sort of had a thing with Ami in the anime, but she's definitely taken in this 'verse. Will he get jealous, and is that what you're hinting to, or is this something from the Ranma world, like Ryoga's return or the Yama-sen-ken guy? Don't spoil it, I can't wait to find out.
7) How much patience does Beryl have? Not with the generals, with the senshi. They've repeatedly shown themselves to be capable of fighting back, even if they're at a disadvantage, and they'll only become more dangerous. Is it ever going to occur to her that a single overwhelming strike (say, Kunzite and Jadeite showing up as back-up) would get them out of her hair for good? For that matter, just killing one of them would be a major blow. I don't expect her to succeed, but I'm surprised it hasn't crossed her mind.
8) I'm a troper, if I have time I'll see if I can whip something up.
| shugokage chapter 17 . 11/4/2013
Definitely an interesting and cool chapter good job on this story!
| Omnitroid1 chapter 15 . 9/20/2013
I have to say, this is really good! A LOT more interesting than the actual canon of both. The only thing i'm really not that okay with is that the spelling is choppy at best. But other than that, keep up the good work!
| Hang Tuah chapter 18 . 9/11/2013
Sorry for the very late review. The wait for the next chapter was worth it. For starters, I'm glad to see Ranma finally connect with his grandfather and his Shadow Hunter heritage. Another plus was the further development on Ranma's and Ami's relationship. I really liked how you showed their relationship developing at their own slow pace.
Their reactions at the classic anime/manga scene where they appear naked when they're in a higher plane of existence was really funny. I've often found those nude scenes pretty redundant (unless a viewer is more interested in the nude fanservice). Glad to see them naturally becoming embarrassed. While they are slowing strengthening their relationship, they just aren't ready for THAT yet.
Plus, I also liked you adding Helios into the story and give more depth to the old Earth Kingdom and Mamuro's/Endymion's past.
| demonic hellfire chapter 18 . 9/5/2013
Street Cross in the future?
| goddragonking chapter 1 . 8/23/2013
great ch and hope for more updates
| timunderwood9 chapter 8 . 8/19/2013
"Ok, first off is of course that some people will complain that Sailor Ceres is unlikely as the asteroid senshi are a seperate group in canon. Guess what, I hate them and therefore made it that they never existed, thus a new story for Ceres."
Hell yeah- make canon into what you want. Its fan fiction, not fan rewriting of canon in bad prose. If someone wants everything to follow canon they should just watch the show again.
Though I think it is best if somehow an author makes it clear that they are intentionally making a divergence from canon, and that it isn't poor research or the like- the way you had Sailor Pluto's surprise at seeing Ceres did that very well. Though the entire story fits that pattern of messing with canon in intelligent ways.
Though honestly I love Tuxedo Mask's speeches, but then I watched the series mainly for the adorable antics of Usagi, and the raw corniness of the DiC dub. I mean I spent the first three episodes constantly cracking up at things which weren't supposed to be funny (and I prefer the dub of the first seasons because I'm confident I would not have watched more than two or three episodes if I'd seen the first episode in the subbed version- Usagi is still adorable, but while corny it isn't anywhere near as corny).
This story though is fun, and the way you develop the characters and give the people interior lives which were sort of absent in the anime is fun to watch. Also the blending of Ranma and SM plots- having Akane come to the school for example. Though this is to a large extent a story of Ranma in the SM world, while something like the Dark Lords of Nerima is more the SM characters visiting the Ranma world.
I actually really like Ranma as a crossover character tossed into other worlds though.
What happened to Pluto as the premise to the story, and how it apparently turned her from a monarchist into a democrat is also quite interesting- I wonder if part of that beyond simply seeing everything go horribly wrong would be some sort of familiarity affect, now a vastly larger chunk of her memories come from a time living in a functional democracy.
Ami was my favorite non Usagi character from the first two seasons (I switched to subbed when I started season 3, due to the cast changes- and losing the wonderful voice actress for Ami was a significant consideration) and I've loved how you are using her as a character in this story. Making the parents a major part of the story is also good, as is the way you changed the personality of Ranma's mom. Though the Ranma series with the characters as given simply can't be taken seriously.
| Kurama's Foxy Rose chapter 2 . 8/1/2013
"I fear what will happen once there isn't anything to learn anymore"
Impossible. Not even in ten millenniums could someone run out of more things to learn.
| Redripper666 chapter 6 . 7/31/2013
just once i would like to read a cross over where they dont put Ryoga in it just one damn time
| ArialChaos chapter 18 . 7/22/2013
I'm sorry but you absolutely butchered the character of Ryoga Hibiki. There is far more to Ryoga being a jerk and blaming Ranma for most of his problems. Plus to be honest Ranma did act like a jerk to Ryoga and took advantage of Ryoga's naivety at times. Remember when Ranma kept following Ryoga's date with Akane and Ranma would constantly interrupt by falsely claiming to be Ryoga's fiance?
If Ryoga was simply a jerk why did he save the helpless Ranma when Ranma's enemies teamed up on him in the Moxibustion Arc? Or why did he dive into a deep fault line so that Ranma could turn back into a male again with the Kettle of Opening? If he was truly a jerk and wanted Ranma to suffer why intervene instead of gleefully watching from the sidelines?
Contrary to what you think Ryoga does possess a sense of honor. Ryoga does not want to beat up on people he views as weak without reason: i.e. someone attacking a girl. For example Ryoga admonishes Happosai, Mousse, and the male Kunos for attacking a weakling (Ranma whom was weak as a baby at the time). He, in his own awkward fashion, does consider the feelings of others. When Ranma acted as Ryoga's sister he was considerate and kind to the person he thought was his sister; he did try to be nice to his supposed fiance (Ranma in disguise) even when she kept getting in the way of his date.
But that is not to say Ryoga is perfect by any means. Much like Ranma he is not above manipulating others to reach his goal. He does not always take responsibility for his actions. His logic system is rather... jumbled and no doubt due to his misfortunes and lack of relationships. Ryoga doesn’t stop to think before acting and wears his heart openly on his sleeve.
If anything Ryoga Hibiki is the one character in Ranma that exhibits the most character growth and variation. So I don't get how he is a two-dimensional character when compared to other characters?
Plus I do not see how his background is less tragic than Ranma's? His parents were mostly likely absent from his life as shown when he didn't even know if he had a sister (if he met them then you'd think they'd tell him if he had a sibling or not). The only family Ryoga has been shown to recall is one pair of elderly grandparents.
He mostly likely persisted in a state of virtual homelessness since he is unlikely to find his way home and probably spent more time in Siberia than at home. Ryoga's schooling was probably poor since he was unlikely to find the school unless someone dragged him on a leash. Even when he made it to school he probably didn't have any friends since he was always lost at lunchtime. You'd think a friend would save him some bread to eat no? Ryoga probably had less contact with the opposite sex than the Ranma of your story did given his perpetual shyness around girls he likes.
I just think your portrayal of Ryoga does your fanfic a disservice...
| Exiled Soul Nomad chapter 6 . 7/6/2013
-"Life doesn't get boring with him. Good thing that I'm a boring, normal person who won't gravitate trouble... she thought."-
I wonder if Ami realized this could be taken as considering herself the constant he could return to in order to escape from the craziness in his life.
| Eisenstein chapter 18 . 6/30/2013
Nice chapter. I always enjoy entertaining background material, as long as the story doesn't suffer. And it doesn't. Well done.
Also, nice job on the philosophical stuff. Yes, the Ultima reference/inspiration works, too.
| Sithking Zero chapter 18 . 6/25/2013
I don't know who represents what, but the 8 virtues and three principles are CLEARLY taken directly from the Ultima Series of Games, designed by Richard Garriot!
... I approve completely.