|Reviews for Friends, Partners, Lovers|
| The Rainwalker chapter 5 . 4/19/2010
Miss Strife, this is The Rainwalker. I've been reading your story Friends, Partners, Lovers for some time and have decided just now to make some comments.
First off let me say this new interpretation you have to the original Yu-Gi-Oh universe is quite fantastic and intriguing. Your story most definitely has a some VERY good potential. I love the way you have so that Joey and some of the characters don't exactly get along at first. Very wise move on your part. A good original chaarcter is someone who the canon charcters might either at first be cautious of or might rub them the wrong way a little bit. An excellent job on your part. I will admit this latest chapter was kind of slow but it looks as though the action-packed fireworks are about to start and that's good. I'm VERY happy to see that Mai and Joey got together. I'm a card carrying Polarshipper myself and I could tell there was a spark between the two in the original series, it was painfully obvious. And I see you had Mai and Joey get well...intimate. Okay I have to admit that chapter was VERY hot an heavy, yet on the same hand you painted the scene of lovemaking in such a tasteful, erotic fashion that I have to give you props for it. A lot of authors even on another website tend too use vulgar and crude language when they describe the act. And that can ruin the whole thing. But you kept things tasteful and, judging by the fact this story is still here, did so in a fashion that this website has no problem with. So congratulations to you lass.
Okay the biggest problem I have with the story is, and this is a major one...lass you got A LOT of spelling and gramatical errors. Nothing kills a story faster then one with bad grammar and spelling. I've read stories that had oodles of potential that died a horrible death because of bad spelling and grammar. However being a fair and balanced kind of guy that I am I don't like to point out problems without pointing out solutions. And that's exactly what I'm going to do here so the answer to this problem is a word processing program with spell and grammar check. I have Microsoft Officewoks 2007 and I'm hoping to get an upgrade one day for it. And I find that program is an absolute God sent. I'll happily admit my spelling and grammar skills aren't the greatest either. And that's why I find Word Processing programs like Microsoft's to be so valuable. I really strongly recommend this lass. Also another good idea...get a beta reader. There are a lot of good and honest beta readers out there. And a good beta reader will make your work better and help you gain more readership of your Fan Fiction stories. Not to mention beta readers don't cost a thing. And that's VERY handy. Anyway there are my recommendations get a word processing program and a beta reader.
Get to the next chapter whenever you can lass. I'll look forward to it. Oh, and also I'd like to take this oppurtunity to invite you to come join the forum I'm a part of here it's called RESPECT. It's a safe place for writers where they can get the help they need and find some good company. It's run by my friends Peach Wookiee and 15animefreak15. We're always looking for new members. Oh, if you do decide to join before you do anything it's best if you write first in the 'Who are you and tell us what you're doing' thread. Oh and if you want to learn more about me go to my profile here on this site. Untill next time from the land of rain this is The Rainwalker signing out.
| Hope for Love chapter 5 . 1/13/2010
This may have been a boring chapter as you said but I really appreciate you not abandoning this story so Thank You.
| arashi wolf princess chapter 4 . 4/9/2009
please update soon, its relly good story and I want to know whats going to happen next.
| Hope for Love chapter 4 . 7/14/2008
I really love this story. I've been waiting for a chapter like crazy. Please make the last chapter of this story another lemon between Joey and Mai. You're the best lemon writer I've seen.
| Hope for Love chapter 3 . 5/29/2008
I really really love this story. This will definitely be a favorite of mine. Can't wait for more!