|Reviews for Under the Surface|
| jippy chapter 10 . 4/2
I’m here because of your guilt-tripping. Don’t expect another one for a while, though. :P
I feel like Taichi and Yamato are doing a bit of a role-reversal. I think Taichi is more prone to brush aside someone else’s feelings and Yamato would be annoyed about that. And now the tables have turned. Interesting.
I really liked Taichi being protective of Sora with Paul. I still think it's funny what your original plan for Paul was. :P
My favourite part of this chapter was Taichi and Sora’s conversation. I loved, loved, LOVED that scene. My only minor complaint about it was I think you could have shortened/tightened it up a little more and it would have had the same impact without being too long and repetitive. I still loved it, though. Taiora heart-to-hearts are awesome.
I’d also like to add that this scene is the closest I’ve ever come to shipping Taiora. T! Seriously! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? :P Yamato is being an arse while Taichi is all nice and . . . T! NO! :P
My favourite sentence: They both then lay back on the grass with the type of practiced synchrony that came only with years of solid friendship, built on a shared childhood spent finding animals in the clouds.
It made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
I enjoyed how you depicted Yamato and his friendship with his bandmates. It’s a nice look into a world that the other Chosen Children aren't privy too – and you can see the difference between the two "worlds" for Yamato. You characterised the members well, too – each were easily distinguishable.
. . . I reviewed! NOW SORATO ME. XD
| Tanya Takaishi chapter 15 . 1/11
I finally got the chance to catch up with this! I really enjoyed Takeru's point of view at the beginning of this chapter. His view of Yamato really helps explain a lot of how Yamato's personality can get in the way of his relationship with Sora. I also liked reading Takeru's thoughts about what would happen if he were gone. (We've all had those moments of curiosity I think) and I think everything you wrote is true. He does really help hold that family together (as broken as it is).
Mimi was cute, as usual. Its nice to see her back with the others.
And if only Sora gave Yamato a bit longer instead of getting all awkward with him. I love how realistic these little moments between them are. How they read things the wrong way and keep misunderstanding one another. Can't wait to see how things play out from here. Looks like some interesting things are about to happen with the musicians!
| Crossed Kermits chapter 12 . 12/2/2013
I swear I haven't cried that much in a long time. You have a really good way with words. Please update as soon as you can! This story is so wonderful.
| Christiano Ronaldo chapter 11 . 11/12/2013
Best and deepest fanfiction I've ever read. Why r u writing fanfictions? U should publish books!
| SoraTakinouchi chapter 15 . 11/12/2013
T, as much as I loved each and every of your chapter, I'm simply unable to express how I feel about this story. I'm really not good with expressing feelings, specially in words, and so I'm gonna ask you to just accept Aklee's reviews as my feelings about this story too. Specially her review over how she thinks Sora must have a really big heart in order to accept Yamato again. That review is just too perfect for me to add anything to it and I can't appreciate the chapter half as good as she did.
I think you are by far the most deep fanfiction writer I've ever read and I'm ever SO glad that you ship Sorato. I would not want to lose you to ANY other shipping. Just take this as my gratitude. Ugh, I'm really bad at words. (Yamato and I have a lot in common, actually.) Even writing this much made me feel awkward.
| Guest chapter 15 . 11/10/2013
Damn you! Why are you not updating? :(
Is the writer dead or something?!
| Elven Star Angel chapter 4 . 10/14/2013
Well I dont know if this is evil :P
But it would be SO cool if she and that Ito guy could start ... well, Something :P
Hahah, anyway, castles in the air. Chapter 5 is already written :P
| Elven Star Angel chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
I LOVED IT! :D
Cant wait to read more. I'm going to click on the Next button in a few secs but im already all jumpy! I like how youve portrayed them and shown them as real people, its uncanny :D
But. Yes, there is always a But :(
Why did Yamato and Sora break up :( That part makes me sad. :(
| someone chapter 15 . 9/20/2013
you are an awesome writer. : -)
| Aklee chapter 15 . 8/15/2013
I can't believe it's taken me this long to get to round to reviewing the remaining chapters. But better late than never I suppose :)
It was really nice to see all the familiar faces! Mimi was adorable, as were Takeru and Hikari. I loved the way you illustrate the friendship between all of them. The last three chapters were more light hearted than the Sorato focused ones preceding them and that was a refreshing change of pace. As always, your characterisation was spot on. This is a really small thing, but I absolutely loved the part where Takeru explains that he sometimes texts Yamato to tell him where he is and Yamato's one word replies. It seems like such a typical, big brother thing to do. That's probably one of the things I like best about your writing - that you always focus on the little details that add to the story in subtle ways.
I also really enjoy how you continue to allude to the Digital World to remind the readers of how important that part of their lives continues to be. A lot of authors (and I'm guilty of this myself) tend to ignore that part entirely when fics are set in the real world. Yamato and Gabumon's conversation was perfect.
In chapter 13, I did feel Jyou's scene in college dragged on a little. You introduced Momoe, and I couldn't help but be puzzled by that. Your other OCs have played a huge role so far, although I can't imagine that Momoe can do anything substantial for the plot, and consequently, whether another OC was really needed at this late stage in the story.
It also seems like this fic is going to extend beyond the two weeks at camp? For some reason I assumed it would end on the last day. But unless a whole load of stuff is planned for the last two days, will we see the kids back at home too? That could definitely be interesting.
| Aklee chapter 12 . 7/12/2013
Wow... just wow. This chapter was incredible! Remember when I said that the last chapter was my favourite? Well, it’s definitely this one now. With so much allusion to the big fight previously, I couldn’t wait to finally find out what had happened. And you didn’t disappoint at all!
The focus on Sora and Yamato in this update and the last was extremely refreshing after the constant changes in POV of the previous chapters. So many things make sense now. While I still believe that Sora overreacted at lunch the previous day (and I was glad to see that she acknowledged this herself), the reasons for her general apprehension towards Yamato are now much clearer. Her entire narrative of how they drifted apart and her desperate attempts to pull them back together was truly heart-breaking to read. The way you’ve managed to capture her emotions and depict her train of thought right before Yamato turns up is amazing and so in character. I could feel her heart break as she went over all the ways Yamato Ishida had managed hurt her in the past and the extent to which his actions had crushed her. It was extraordinary to read how a character who is usually so open, strong and independent came to feel as inadequate and pathetic as she does now. I was glad, though, that she finally decided she had had enough.
When I think about what Yamato did, I honestly just want to punch him in the face. And I’m guessing that’s the response you wanted to elicit from the reader so kudos to you for that xD It was frankly a little shocking to see how dismissive, callous and at times downright cruel he could be to someone who he supposedly loved. Regardless of everything, he was still Sora’s *friend* first. And I wouldn’t think that the Bearer of Friendship would be capable of being this cowardly in wanting to push Sora so much that she would reach her breaking point first to save him from having to end the relationship himself. I was actually surprised at how unwilling Yamato was to do anything at all to bridge the distance between them even at the beginning. But the way you wrote his actions made them so in character that they were still completely believable. You portrayed his boredom, feelings of wanting to escape and experience new things, and his growing attraction to his band and other friends incredibly realistically. I could easily imagine this as how their relationship disintegrated. I found myself at times wondering how Gabumon would react if he had been a witness to it all.
If Sora is going to forgive Yamato, she really has a huge heart. I don’t know she can ever feel secure in a relationship with him again. I do have a small confession to make. This is actually the first Sorato story where maybe I don’t want them to get back to together again. I kind of wish – even though believe me, I’m one of the biggest Sorato fans out there – that Sora has the strength to walk away. Unless Yamato does something extraordinary to prove that he’s going to stay committed to her in the future, she really does deserve better. And I have no idea what he could possibly to do make it up to her. That said, I’m hoping you’ll surprise me and so I’m really excited to see what you have planned.
The entire chapter was beautifully written. You managed to convey incredible depth and emotion when describing each of their experiences. Your writing style stands out as being truly remarkable which made this a real pleasure to read :)
My apologies for turning this review into an entire essay. Lol.
| Aklee chapter 11 . 7/11/2013
My attempts to stop myself from reading further are in vain. I'm dreading the day I reach the last posted chapter and have to wait for updates like everyone else... especially since it's quickly becoming evident that such a time is not too far off.
This has to be, without a shadow of a doubt, my absolutely favourite chapter! I'm wondering how much time had passed between you first publishing the story and this update, because your writing style has improved extraordinarily. While your chapters are always well written and executed, there is now a certain flow and eloquence that really add to how well you articulate your thoughts.
Yamato is an extremely complex person - he's loyal and protective, he cares fiercely about certain people whilst simultaneously needing privacy and space, and he wants to stand with his friends as well as maintain his individuality. You managed to capture all the aspects of his personality wonderfully. I loved how much insight his inner monologue provided and I loved that he chose to reflect on some of the happier times during their relationship. Your portrayal of how his feelings for Sora developed and the narrative of the Christmas Eve episode was adorable and incredibly realistic. And the fact that you often alluded to the original series and that Gabumon made quite a few appearances were also nice touches.
It's interesting to see Yamato interact with a different group of people entirely - and that sheds quite a bit of light on how alienated the other Chosen Children (and especially Sora) must feel. It's as if he's constantly juggling between two lives that are pulling him in different directions. I was intrigued to learn that not many of his musician friends liked Sora when they met her and I wonder what the story is there.
I actually thought this was going to be a relatively short review since the entire chapter was so flawless, but I guess I liked it so much that I couldn't help but gush about everything that happened! Reading your interpretation of Sora and Yamato's relationship and the wonderful background you provided put a huge smile on my face. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Well done! :D
| Aklee chapter 10 . 7/11/2013
I have really mixed feelings about this chapter.
Writers are urged to 'show' rather than 'tell' the audience about their characters - and you've done that brilliantly so far. Sometimes, it's best to leave things unsaid or to depict them through action rather than having to spell out everything for the reader. I felt that there was way too much 'telling' in this chapter. The length and wordiness of Taichi and Sora's exchange made it feel forced and unnatural by the end. I felt like they were talking in paragraphs which was kind of strange to read. Sora's arguments became very repetitive and Taichi sort of came off as whiny and, at times, painfully naive. There were a few cute moments here and there (such as the brunet considering his friends to now be complicated people and Sora's assertion that she just needed him to be there for her) but the effect was lost slightly by how much you were attempting to cover in this one conversation. I think this entire exchange was probably my least favourite part of the story :(
Also, since Taichi is shown to be protective of the blond previously, I was very surprised that he immediately put the blame wholly on Yamato's shoulders. I kind of expected him - as a mutual friend and someone who is not so easily swept away by emotions - to give Yamato the benefit of the doubt or at least attempt to see things from a more neutral perspective. That is definitely what Sora needs more than anything else at this point. I felt that Yamato 'deserting' Sora in the last chapter was not quite severe enough to warrant such a response from either of his two closest friends. While I understand that Sora believes that he prioritised the band over his relationship in the past, right now (since his band mates had come all the way to specifically practice with him albeit in such an unannounced way) he was justified in leaving with them. Consequently, I can't help but think that Sora and Taichi might be over reacting just a little.
I really liked the way you started and ended the chapter though. Taichi's behaviour on the field was a good way to demonstrate how frustrated he was (his emotions were 'shown' in his actions). Additionally, Yamato's characterisation was flawless like always. I liked that he was so relaxed and having fun for a change. It was also nice to see how much the band we have heard so much about really means to him.
| Aklee chapter 9 . 7/11/2013
Taichi was hilarious in his attempts to wake up his room mates. That part really made me smile. It's also pretty interesting to see him get overprotective of both Yamato and Sora at different times. The fight between him and Yamato was pretty in character too - both have the tendency butt heads quite a bit and it was only a matter of time before that happened. Some of the things that Taichi said were a little surprising though. The fact that he continued to assert that he was the leader over and over just made him seem incredibly defensive. It makes me wonder what exactly happened regarding the band to make the usually carefree Taichi Yagami react so abruptly in such a way.
I felt really bad for Sora at the end. They were having such a pleasant conversation and I can see why she feels deserted by Yamato a lot of the time when his band is involved. Her reasoning (especially with regard to her friends' reactions) make sense to her although I wish someone was at hand to explain things from a more neutral point of view as well. You portrayed her emotions at the end very well.
| Aklee chapter 8 . 7/11/2013
While I appreciate how much depth you've given to your original characters, I felt that the part with Wakana dragged on just a little. I miss the focus on the original children and the interaction between them. Which is why the banter between Sora and Taichi at lunch was so great.
I really, really did not expect Kosuke to hit Yamato. Wow... that guy has issues. But it was great to see that Yamato didn't react which shows just how he's matured. I felt pretty proud of him for that :)
And I think I squealed at the end! The whole scene between Sora and Yamato was perfect. It's been a while since they've relaxed with each other so completely and I loved it! Yamato was so cute and funny, and Sora was adorable in how worried and caring she was. You write them incredibly well!