|Reviews for The Dark Wars: Empire's War|
| BenignViewer chapter 16 . 7/25
Just a point of call; Harry's 'infidelities' both morally and legally are not actually infidelities. They occurred A) after Ginny was declared 'missing, presumed dead' i.e. legally considered to be dead, and Harry only had his alliance with Allison years after she supposedly died - and ended it almost a year before he found Ginny again.
I'm saying this now because I've seen you refer to his actions as such multiple times now from different people's perspectives, which seems out of place.
| QueenMilaAshdown chapter 53 . 3/3
so, I just read through the entirety of The Dark Wars series with 'Helicarrier' from the Avengers soundtrack playing on repeat...let me tell you, that resulted in multiple levels of awesomeness. I must say, I am always impressed with authors who can keep all of these facts and timelines straight. Also, the military info astounds me. Anytime I try to delve into it, it makes my head spin something fierce. More power to you! Now, I realize that it's been almost five years since you completed this, but still no epilogue?
| Creature chapter 42 . 3/4/2014
I understand this fic is a few years old, and I wonder if you even read reviews for old stories, but I wanted to say that this is one of my favorite chapters in this series. The fight was top knoch, and the wards being taken down at the end was a nice touch. Makes you think that there's going to be some voice over guy saying, "next time, on The Dark Wars..." lol
Very nice MB. I look forward to refinishing this fic, and also to the completion of Emperer. You are an amazing author, and your grasp of military knolege is superb. Each time I reread your fics, I find myself learning more and more about tactical stratagyms. Your use of historical references is also quite refreshing, as few authors on this sight actually implore the use of non-fiction happenings or historical events with any sort of understanding or concept there of. So with that said, please do not detract your hobby and abandon any of your fics or enspirations for future works. At the very least, you will always have this one humble reader eagerly awaiting the next chapters of said works.
if you wish to communicate properly.
| Lord Olcan chapter 10 . 1/16/2014
Ugh...I hate Dumbledore. Man is a manipulative goat...I can see him actually doing a lot of what is in this story.
| SIR-DG chapter 53 . 1/15/2014
Excellent. I really love your story. Good job
| Sammyboy94 chapter 53 . 11/28/2013
Very very good... Did harry save the world?
| Sammyboy94 chapter 29 . 11/22/2013
Lol love the P.S.
| 221Bfandomlocked4 chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
Haha, Wolfe and Wolf.
| Creature chapter 53 . 7/5/2013
Okay... Few things of note to mention now that I've reached the apparent end to this fic.
1. Horible Cliffy. Now, I'm a fan of these; they give great dramatic effect and are good plot devices. However, Cordening this chapter off as the conclution, whilst saying that the end comes as an Epelog? Not so great man. You could have at least wrapped that little detail with the planet-ending spell, then saved everything else as an eppy, but what ever. For the amount of time spent on this fic, never mind the whole series, everything seems mostly consistent. There were a few minor details that could have been edited, but nothing so major that it necessarily detracts from the overall story.
2. Nevel-Susan Fusion? Now, I'm sure that some reviewers have no doute cited the obvious DBZ reference, along with your gratuitis nods to Bleach and Naruto, but this one turn of events was something different. I have not read the fic in question you cited at the end of the chappy, but I've read more than my fair share of HP fics here on this site, and this was the first time I've actually seen this approach taken.
On one hand, it's a great way to avoid killing off a somewhat major character, but it was not well executed. I'm not dissing the method, or the way it was done, mearily the lack of showing the scene. Nevel and Susan's relationship as mentioned throughout the fic was very realistic from my point of view. We have two soldiers, constently tried by the terms of the war, yet they still persist in working at their bond. Susan's greaf at losing Nevel during that last bout could have been more delved into, with some realization fuiling her determination of saving her lover's life. Also, it would have served to give some foreshadowing to events to come. As it is, it almost seems like you used their fusion to justify Harry's own Fusion/absorbsion of Dumbledore. In otherwords, a shortcut and unexplained plot device. Still functional, if you flush it out a bit.
3. Harry's overly complicated plans? Now, this isn't so much as a complaint as it is an observation. As a fan of Death Note, I can truly appreciate the finer qualities of overly complicated skeam. As an avid Chess Player, I can even appreciate and respect tactical strategems. As a realist, I find it hard to believe though, that Harry could have actually had the forsite to implement as many steps and fassets to his mackenations. The battle? That I can accept. Though every plan is only solid and fool-proof up until the firing of the first shot, it isn't too hard to imagine having contengency after more contingency arranged to make up for human errors, actions, and mistakes. But, to believe that he nearly single-handedly orchestrated the building of an Empire and an Army, not to mention, the planning of several battles that gave himself more added leverage in the lines of command, all because of what happened to him in the past? Far-fetched. Now, his modivations are not, don't get me wrong, but to have actually seriously planned every fasset of history leading up to this point? That would require not only the wit of a god, but also the mental aptitude and forsite of one as well. Again, it almost seemed as though you were warring with Plot Bunnies throughout this fic, and as you neared the end, had many unresolved questions you yourself had not the answers to.
4. The Quene. Now, this is a tricky one to address, simply as it's nearly cliché, yet nearly not. Let me explain.
On one hand, we have the forgotten child of the Royal Family who was hidden away just in case of an overthrowing of the throan, who, as a child and into her teenage years, suffered multypul rapes, beatings, and relentlis torcher by her capters after having been kidnapped from her guardians who were subsequently murdered. However, on the otherhand, we have a nearly incompetent child who has more than her fair share of mental and emotional scarring, on top of lacking in any formal education, much less any political training. Now, when I say that this is cliché, I mearly mean in the way of forgotten royal-blood used endlessly in fantacy cliché.
But in her favor, she has turned out to be a mostly promicing leader, her mistakes being corrected as she realizes them. In fact, her standing as a Royal Figurehead is not too shabbily flushed out neither. My issue with her is only this. For a character that should play such a large role, she has garnered very little screan time, and during her times that she has had, she still seems like a child in many ways. I don't know, I guess I've just read too many other books with major Eiristocratic plays or something. She just seemed,,, lacking in areas.
There were a few other things, but because I've liked this fic from the get go, I wanna take some time to add in some praise where I've been critical all review.
Harry and Genny's relationship:
Because you've admitted several times that you are not exactly the most inclined as a romantic, I'm not going to go off the henges here. Actually, given the context of this fic, their relationship is pretty believeable. General and brilliant tactition, and best of the best assassins. Not too bad. Though I wouldn't have minded some deeper looks into their personal lives, like their interactions with their family as of the changes brought on by the later years of the war, or maybe some more one-on-one time with Harry and his daughter, as she clearly has been stated for a major factor behind Harry's actions on the tactical field, but considering what we have, it's still acceptable.
Bad Guy Americans?
You know what? I actually liked this turn of events. Everyone always assumes that Americans are perfect, always right, better than everyone else, yadda yadda yadda... The truth is, We americans are too damned arigont and prideful. People refuse to believe that for once, we could be the bad guys. Given the right circumstances and political waters so to speak, America would be no different when capitulating to a much, much more powerful fow, rather it be because of resources, firepower, or Magicals verses Muggles. In otherwords, Genetics.
With that being said, my only discomfort in this situation, and this goes for all nations involved, Where were the heavy weapons? Where were the Nukes, unmanned aircrafts, Navle Defence Forces, etc? Granted the magical weapons, including the airships, were great substitutes for most of these, but, it takes years for new technology to be assimulated into a military, much less fleets of airships. So, why were nearly all other muggle devices not used? I can understand nukes and the WMDs and such, but, why would any tactical mind exclude the use of AK47s and other related muggle weapons, considering that they are mechanical in nature, and not electronic?
Now, I love my anime. No, I mean, I really love my anime. Seeing anime enspired battles and fights in fanfiction? Goody goody... A lot of authors would argue the unlikelyhood of taunting and wordplay during the mittle of a fight to be unrealistic and so on, but, if it's done well enough and made exciting enough, then who gives a shit. Look at DBZ. Namek's end took something like 16 episodes from the time Frieza shot his attack into the planets core up until it finally went boom. The funny thing being, the whole thing apparently happened in five minutes. Now, that is unrealistic. But, because the Goku/Frieza fight was one of the most epic in mind of anime productions, no one cares. hell, it was enspiration for future Animes, I.E. Bleach, Yu-yu-hakusho and Naruto, just to kname a few. You gave us not only great action, but also painted the 'Pottervurse in an anime like mental illustration. For that, good job. I don't care what others say about realism and such; when it comes down to it, is there anything believeable in Fantacy? lol
All and all though, this has been a blast to read. It was something different, but still entertaining. So, from one fan to another, Very nice work and thanks for sharing your imagination with us humble readers. Looking forward to seeing your improvements over the next stories, and I can't wait to see what other crazy ideas will come from your slightly twisted mind.
Flamers should burn in hell, like the flaming Candles wishing they were the sun, flamers that they are... Try to wrap your mind around that one. I wrote it and am still like, "huh?" lol
| Creature chapter 15 . 7/4/2013
And the plot unfolds...
| Corneille chapter 53 . 3/24/2013
I really like this story, but the ending not so much. Bringing the Venati back makes the story come full circle which was good, but making them the ultimate bad guy left me a little frustrated. Still, the four 'books' were very enjoyable and a great read. More people should read this.
| Teufel1987 chapter 53 . 1/18/2013
1. I see that you have some remnants of this story in Emperor. By the way, is it possible that you could give Harry a son in that WIP story of yours? It will add a bit more variety, and is one similarity that you can remove. Besides, being stuck in Britain with his wife and being frustrated would lead to copious amounts of sex, and it's quite possible for his wife to "forget" to take the precautions or conversely broach the subject of a second child. Also, Harry is quite obsessed about his dynasty, so having more kids would help.
2. Where's that epilogue you were crying over?
3. Is this story really completed? Cause all the threats haven't been neutralised.
4. That final battle was far too … anime … and quite melodramatic. Not that I'm complaining.
By the way, if you want a really awesome magical fight, check out Caliburn on this site. His two (rather short and incomplete) stories have some really impressively described magical duelling.
5. Speaking of stories, see if you can't get your hands on "No Easy Day" (that is if you haven't yet). It's a US marine's accounting of the killing of our favourite terrorist. He speaks of how the military works indepth and gives a nice firsthand accounting of some skirmishes in Afghanistan and Iraq. I believe that it's something a guy like you would love!
| Teufel1987 chapter 42 . 1/14/2013
I'm a bit confused. The siege was supposed to have taken place in the dead of the night. Yet when Ginny is facing off against her opponent, how was it still dusk?
They shouldn't have been camouflaged by the dark if it was still before dusk (which we do know is at least an hour or so before the cat fight)
| LordCarey chapter 53 . 11/7/2012
| R. Gray chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
I've been thoroughly impressed with the entire series. While it's not something I would ever write myself, the scale and thought put into it, along with the overall quality of the writing is most impressive.
On the negative side however, it does feel ... compressed, in places. As if you've decided in advance that everything within the story has to be completed within a pre-determined timeframe, and that you have therefore felt constrained to squeeze everything together to get things done, even if that mean's that things happen quicker than feels natural.
On the positive side, most of the canon characters hold fairly true to how we see in canon. Although Harry is, for me at least, a much more realistic character in the way you have shown him, outwith his hybrid status. I was never really happy with how JKR dealt with the Golden Trio :(
Anyway, suffice to say, I have enjoyed reading this and look forward to you getting around to future Dark Wars one-shots / short stories, plus other works.