|Reviews for The Intern|
| Dizzyhellfire chapter 15 . 3/7
This was a decent story, but it needs some more work. and after interviewing Louden, he has a twin brother, not a sister. Nice concept though. I dont know if Dr. Cube would be attracted to anyone other than himself.
one thing that bothered me aside from some typos that I overlooked (we all have them now and then) was that constant bold face type in the middle and all the song lyrics. you can post a line or two, but reading through at least 2 pages of lyrics bothered me as a reader. but not a bad concept.
| Nyctea Scandiaca chapter 15 . 3/3
This feels like a 14yr old wrote this. Dr Cube is actually probably now in his early 40s maybe mid 30s in real life, Louden is in his 30s, and I'm pretty sure he would only date parallel universe version of himself that happened to be female. The spelling is sub par, needs some actual work to make it more credible, and the most annoying part of this fan fiction of yours is that you need to stop posting entire pages of lyrics. Stop having your friends comment all over the place, it's hard to read when you do that, and the girlfriend of Silver Potato, was named Anna Dramina. She was killed in a freak gardening accident (I asked). Louden has a possible twin brother, but no actual sister, I confirmed this with him in Orlando October 31, 2014. I don't know that Dr. Cube would actually be so eager about a random minion, and I'm pretty sure 007 was taken, as I knew minion 1 personally (may he RIP). I understand it's your work, and your fiction, but I find that a little hard to believe and follow, though I did read all the way through. Also you need to work on your grammar a bit. so if you ever decide to continue with this, there is some advice for you.
| EijiNya chapter 11 . 3/1/2009
I know I really shouldn't be criticizing you, considering how little I've done recently (not because of laziness... I was... very busy... yeah...) but there's a bit too much dialogue for some reason. I don't know, describe people's expression more or something.
And yes, you're allowed to pester me as well. Because we all know I'm in many ways fallible.
| EijiNya chapter 2 . 10/18/2008
wait, why am i not in the first chapter?
just make sure you introduce all of us next chapter, k?
like, me, autumn, uh... me... and uh..
second chap. sort of leaves us at an awesome cliffhanger! so uz musht updatesh again.
| EijiNya chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
Y HALLO THAR MADISON.
(i have no idea why i said it like that...)
but you know what?
i searched up louden, and your fanfiction was the only one there. XD lul.
i was like, WHOO! SHE'S DOIN' THE STORY AGAIN! but then it was even better than the one at kaiju. X9