|Reviews for The Godless One|
| Midlina chapter 2 . 9/24/2011
Please don't let him be a perv, please don't be a perv, please don't... BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY ADORE ONE-TWO-SAMA'S CHARACTER!
| Web Critique chapter 2 . 8/23/2008
You asked for a review and you will have a review.
This is probably one of the best OC Ouran High fanfics on the web and I have read a lot of Ouran fanfics. The start portrays Ouran in a unique manor that pulls a reader in and automatically labels you 'original' and you describe it enough but not too much detail to keep the story moving.
I very much like the chatroom style start you have used to start the story and introduce the OC and Tsuneo is very original and convincing as a character. All of your characters are very well written and the only thing I would change there is when Kyoya says,
"Huh. I was under the impression that I was pure evil."
I can't see Kyoya saying 'huh' here or pretty much anywhere because he is so collected and controlled.
You apply a lot of mystery at the ends of your chapters to keep someone reading and it works very well, I find myself asking 'who is Mason' and 'What's Tsuneo going to do!'.
There's a lot of good things there but uncharacteristically, I have very few bad things to say. Your chapter names are quite vague but that is not so important.
Another place where Kyoya needs a little touch up is where he says,
"Yes it is. Are you the new student?"
Kyoya probably wouldn't ask if he was the new student because he would know and I can't see him saying that to be polite even though he does like to be polite.
You don't have to take any of this into account but I appreciate you asking for my advice and I think you're really good!
| Firehedgehog chapter 2 . 6/19/2008
| meri47 chapter 2 . 6/18/2008
Very good! Update Soon!
| Lily Lorelei chapter 2 . 6/18/2008
What does this guy want with Haruhi? I loved the dialogue between Kyouya and Tamaki. Good job with this!
| Lily Lorelei chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
This looks interesting! I always wonder why more people don't figure out Haruhi's secret. I love the internet conversation. Although I was a bit chastened by the A/N at the end. OCs are fun! :)
| mindless words chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
interesting. usually I'm never interested in anothers' OCs but yours has a certain spark. Looking forward to future chapters.
| Z.Brite chapter 2 . 6/17/2008
you...are...a...genius! now update!
| Firenze2000 chapter 2 . 6/17/2008
Nice story. I really like your writing style it's very different to what i'm used to from other fics. Anyways this Tsuneo guy definately gives me the impression of a creepy stalker or predator I'm really want to know what he wants with Haruhi.
I hope to see more from you and this story _
| rs1994 chapter 2 . 6/17/2008
wow...that guy sounds like a stalker! it sounds reli interesting so far...your writing style is reli good. plz keep writing!:D
| idioticsmile chapter 1 . 6/8/2008
uwah..interesting..please update soon!
| miharu365 chapter 1 . 6/2/2008
hI can tell this is gonna be very interesting. WRITE MORE SOON!(or i kill you!B3)
| First Lady Lestat chapter 1 . 6/2/2008
Great story, is this really a Haruhi/ Host club fic? Even Hunni, beacuse I have been tring to find stories like that(well written fics) and have only found two, Fractured fairy tale (finished) and Tessellation. With all the stories out with the lead male character having a harem, I don't see why a female character can't have the same, keep up the good work
| DazedDoomsday chapter 1 . 6/2/2008
This is awesome!