|Reviews for Forest for the Trees|
| hentai18ancilla chapter 4 . 7/10/2012
This was wonderful! I really enjoyed your Harumi character and would have enjoyed reading a long drawn out romance. Shirou is just sooo sweet-though I don't think he's average looking.
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/28/2012
That was surprisingly good for an OC story, and also very heartwarming when you look at it in context.
It reminded me of one of those news stories where a female teacher had sex with a male student and got jailed for it, but the two ended up getting married afterwards anyway.
Really, loneliness is something that we all fear...especially in big cities like Tokyo...
| RykOakwine chapter 4 . 4/8/2012
I liked it. Well written, excellently drawn characters, and a sweet story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
| funkmasterjo chapter 4 . 11/23/2011
I think Ho-chan is arturia reincarnated
| Phoenix Dragoon chapter 4 . 11/22/2011
I liked it, but its not really fate/stay night without magecraft. still its a really good and original story line. I aploud you hawker-748 you did good.
| Morality0duality chapter 4 . 11/22/2011
This was nice though I would have liked to see her introduction to the moonlit world.
| justbehappydammit chapter 3 . 11/10/2011
Oh man, I was practically dying of laughter at the end there. Seriously, even if the rest of the story had been crap, which it wasn't, far from it, that omake alone would be worth putting this story on my favorites list.
| Gatewalker chapter 4 . 10/26/2011
As a fan of Shirou, and as a man married to an older woman myself, I approve of this fic. End felt...kinda rushed, but that's sorta the way of it. Nothing happened. Life went on. Very well written overall.
| Yak chapter 4 . 10/15/2011
Very sweet story. Well done.
A couple of niggles: Shirou listing off everyone he's lost seemed a bit much. Perhaps he should have just mentioned losing Saber and his father. Also, I don't think Shirou remembers his natural parents or pre-fire life at all. Does the loss of biological forebears who he can't remember qualify for "reminiscing about losing loved ones"?
Toning down that scene wouldn't hurt the story at all. Shirou having lost just Saber and his father is enough.
Harumi and Keiko's discussion about the ideal qualities of a man was slightly heavy handed. It was effective and brought about the necessary shift in Harumi's character, so it wasn't bad, but it does stand out a little. Not a big problem, just a niggle. The piece works fine as is.
The last minor niggle I have is that Shirou muttering "Saber" in his sleep while holding Harumi in a post-coital embrace never came to anything. Does she ever work out who Saber is? I was half-expecting that she'd discover the truth, become gravely insulted, and break things off just in time for Rin to enter the picture.
Wait a minute... was that an intentional red herring? Or was ""I'm glad you remembered my name," she deadpanned." supposed to be an acknowledgement that she'd worked it out?
The biggest problem I had with the story by far, was tea. Tea. Why would two Japanese natives spontaneously drink English tea? Or serve tea with offers of cream and sugar? Green tea, not black tea, is served in Japan. It's usually served in small cups, not mugs. I doubt that cream and sugar gets anywhere near it, though I'm no expert. Crackers? The frequent references to Earl Grey tea when Japanese green teas are so famous here in the west, was very grating. It constantly brought me out of the fic.
Thanks for the story. Apart from what I mentioned, it was straightforward and well constructed. A pleasure to read. Harumi and Hotaru were good OCs for a fic of this length.
| Angry Santo chapter 4 . 9/29/2011
pretty damn good. kinda refreshing to see a story that does not pair him with any of the usual pairs.
It is also nice to see a little slice of life brought into FS. The only qualm I have over this fic is that Shirou gave up his goal of becoming a superhero a little too easily.
Overall however, it was a great fic, definitely worth a read.
| Mu-Sensei chapter 4 . 9/28/2011
Very sweet and nice, and unexpected too. Which is a good thing.
| Godlybunny chapter 4 . 8/14/2011
I really liked the story, but I was a bit disappointed that Shirou didn't tell Harumi he's a mage. Just a minor gripe.
| Sage of Eyes chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I-i'm n-not cryin' *sniff* who am I kidding! It was beautiful!
| CattyNebulart chapter 4 . 6/8/2011
It's sweet, a little predictable but ok.
It ends kind of abruptly after the very slow buildup, so you could probably condense it a bit with some judicious cutting in the buildup. Other than that I don't have much to say.
| BukkakeNoJutsu chapter 4 . 4/29/2011
That was a very sweet story. I loved it.