|Reviews for Teaching Toph|
| Guest chapter 12 . 9/30
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MIXTURE OF FUNNY, SERIOUS AND ROMANTIC
Thank you so much for writing this fic, I love it! 3
| Guest chapter 17 . 1/4
I love this fic, I've read twice, I just love it. It's so cute!
| Ashen Author chapter 16 . 10/7/2014
Paisho learned fromn the best. Oh uncle, you and your tea... :)
Lovely story. Stories.
| Guest chapter 14 . 10/4/2014
They're 12! For gods sake Katara. Most 12 year olds still think boys have cooties! How messe up is her mind and yes, I could so see her trying to have the talk with them
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/9/2014
| anonymous skrub chapter 12 . 8/5/2014
Katara is annoying :l
| Cillranchello chapter 17 . 7/19/2014
As a start, your general writing ability is rough, the sentences feel more like a disjointed sequence of events rather than a story. Consider the following:
"Aang staggered to Appa, completely exhausted. He allowed himself to collapse into the saddle with a groan. Judging from the sore spots that covered his body, he estimated that he wouldn't be able to move for about a week. They never even got around to finishing the task of opening all of Toph's chakras. She had too enthusiastic about expressing her 'love'."
"Aang staggered to Appa, completely exhausted, and allowed himself to collapse into the saddle with a groan. Judging from the sore spots covering his body, he estimated that he wouldn't be able to move for about a week. They never even got around to finishing the task of opening all of Toph's chakras, she had been too enthusiastic about expressing her 'love'."
See? All it needed was a couple commas and a conjunction here or there. Write the cartoon, not each individual frame. Work on your prose, you'll thank yourself for it. Also, while characterization is mostly consistent with the source material, Zuko feels like a generic angry guy, which is inconsistent with his character development at this point in the story. In fact, the reason the Gaang ultimately accepts him is because he has his anger mostly on a leash. That, and he's a bit overly sardonic. I feel like you could have swapped him out for Sokka, and the story would more or less follow the same line. (Instead of Firebending Training, strategy meetings or the like.)
Now, if you're still reading, and I hope you are, this is the part where I tell you to give yourself more credit. The lessons were fun, they were internally consistent, and most of all, and I cannot stress this enough, THEY. MADE. SENSE. Everything, from how Aang posits the lesson to the steps Toph takes to wriggle out an answer, is completely believable. At no point during the reading did I want to stop and go "Oh BS. He pulled that out of no where." Do you understand how rare this is, even in professional literature?
As a martial artist, your choreography makes sense to me. Each attack and counter attack is feels like a logical progression of events. These are two masters in their field, delivering and responding with the optimal move for a given situation. In this case, while needing improvement, your prose is pretty good, you give us enough information to draw the image in our head, without making it a massive infodump.
So yeah, this doesn't suck. Keep up the good work.
TL;DR: Improve the flow and prose of your storytelling, you're doing a lot of things right, and its clear you have a talent for storytelling.
| anon chapter 17 . 7/11/2014
you should write more if you check on this fanfic .
| dispassioneight chapter 15 . 6/2/2014
This was a really cute fic, shame there wasn't more romance, but eh, friendship.
| FluffyRainbowz chapter 5 . 4/30/2014
gentle nudge right over the side of the cliff XDXDXD
| Blex Luthor chapter 17 . 4/12/2014
I just want to say, this whole story was great. Very sweet and very WAFF-y slice of life stuff. I don't know if you know, but TV Tropes has this as one of their recommended fanfictions and you definitely earned it. The only concrit I have is there are some SPAG errors you might want to clean up. Otherwise this was a fun, awesome story that I'd recommend to any AtLA fan.
| rana2001 chapter 5 . 3/24/2014
| TomMaier chapter 17 . 3/1/2014
Great story! Loved reading it :)
| Guest chapter 17 . 3/1/2014
Great story! Loved reading it
| Oh nana chapter 2 . 12/23/2013
I'm still liking it. :)