|Reviews for Betrayed Destiny|
| DandereGoneFishing chapter 3 . 4/20/2012
Hell to the no Kairi!
Stupid Bitch ignoring the fact Riku is heavily injured.
| Wolf05 chapter 4 . 11/1/2008
Please, please, please update soon.
| BloodofthePen chapter 4 . 8/15/2008
“Sorry Squally! But I ran into them and um… Knocked the silver one out?” lol Yes, as though randomly knocking someone out is perfectly normal. lol
| AntiMusicMan chapter 4 . 8/11/2008
well, I really hope you get the necessary hits/reviews because I really want to know what happens next!
so, Riku talked! YAY! and Selphie is comfort eating, not so yay...
my oh my are there a ton of characters running around...
| AntiMusicMan chapter 3 . 6/9/2008
I like it ... the whole weapon explanation things was a little poorly worded and rushed, but other than that, nothing to really complain of.
There may have been a few spelling/grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing glaring or distracting.
I can't wait till the next chapter (and good job with writing more!)
| BloodofthePen chapter 3 . 6/9/2008
"If he could convince them to go with him on his trip around the worlds to find his actual family then he would be able to have friends! To him it was an amazing concept, people liking him, not for his abilities, but for him!" Oh, the poor dear.
I loved the bit where Riku was trying to figure out if Pandora was a girl or a guy. lol It has been an exciting and amusing chapter! There were a couple of errors here and there, but only type-os.
Another great chapter! _
| BloodofthePen chapter 2 . 6/3/2008
Only one error that was glaringly apparent. You said "in necessary to" where I believe you mean "necessary to." XD
I really don't know about Kingdom Hearts, but this story is rather interesting! My favorite lines:
"“Do ya think were under attack mahn?” Wakka asked Tidus.
“Probably. Why did you think they were panicking? They were late for tea?”"
I would panic if I was late to tea! It's not a far-fetched statement! *shifty eyes* What?
Overall, exciting and well done.
(Now maybe you should review one of mine! lol *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*)
| AntiMusicMan chapter 2 . 6/3/2008
it's "noon came and passed" not past...
other than that, I think you're good (other than the AN repeating up top)
I like this. So, Tidus and Selphie get Keyblades, Wakka a Chakram, and Riku a Bow... interesting... will he still turn "evil" and go with Maleficent? I am very interested, post chapter 3 soon!
| AntiMusicMan chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
I want to see how this develops.
Few words of wisdom:
1. the Document Editor likes to repeat the first line for some reason, so re-post without the "Author's Note" repeated
2. remember to use verbs: "Besides he so serious" you need an "is" or something... and "He trust me Kairi" needs a verb tense adjustment.
I'm not bashing, merely constructively criticizing.
Other than those two things, I like it.
Can't wait to read some more chapters
| Mikiri's Revenge chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
HA! I found my own Story! Ha!
| ShadowRebirth37 chapter 2 . 6/2/2008
Pretty good. I like this take, it's very unique and exciting! I'll keep my eyes open for new chapters! Don't worry if I don't review for awhile, it's just because I normally don't visit the KH section much, I usually stay in the Zoids section and only come here to update my KH fic, "Heart of a Wyvern". Anyway, I like your detailing and description and such. Well done! I'll try to keep up with updates!
P.S- could you maybe read & review my KH1 fic, "Heart of a Wyvern"? I want to know what you think of it. Anyway, good job so far!